Eupd and Depression

Former Member

Hey everyone!

Im diagnosed with eupd and have been depressed for over a month, I only went to see my gp yesterday because I assumed my depressed symptoms where from my eupd. My mood has been flat, I'm so paranoid that everyone is out to get me and everyone hates me and thinks life would be better without me. I find it so hard to leave the house. I generally just feel lost.

I'm not in a good place at the minute, my life seems to be falling apart again! Everything I've worked so hard to beat has started up again. I'm not eating and when i do I'm making myself sick, I've lost so much weight in a month its unreal! I've started self harming again and taking cocaine again! I'm so mad at myself because I was doing so well!

My therapy isn't working, we don't even have a crisis plan in place for situations like this, i feel failed the them! This is the exact reason I stay away from getting help. My doctor has put me on Risperidone, he said the next step is hospital but that was the worst experience of my life last time!

I just want somewhere to rant and not be judged! Im just wondering if anyone with eupd/bpd has had depression as well and how long has it lasted?

Ally xoxo

Former Member

Have you been referred to your local community mental health team? It sounds like you need a bit more support than what you're getting currently.

I would also Google a WRAP plan (wellness and recovery action plan). I had a single psychotic episode related to PTSD but I was very low and very anxious for a few months and I had a support worker through the CMHT and having the WRAP really helped because it outlined my wishes and what was needed when I was in crisis. I think at this stage it might be worth getting in touch with the local crisis team as well (they are meant to help keep people out of hospital when in crisis).

I was briefly given the same diagnosis (a second opinion over ruled it) and I was told that a personality disorder can diminish over time. What therapy are you getting? It's best to have DBT (dialectic based therapy) or MBT (mentalisation based therapy) for EUPD.

Have you got your own support network outside of healthcare?

Former Member

Thanks for replying, I'll be sure to message you Dia!

& yeah I'm under my local mental health recovery team, they're not the best tho! I started with DBT but they decided it wasn't what I needed, so I'm now having Structured Clinical Management! I haven't found this helpful so far.

I've heard of the WRAP plan before, I might have done one when I've had different therapy, I'll be sure to look it up tho! I have thought about calling the crisis team but I'm so terrified of hospital it's unreal!! I have lots of help from my fiancé and his family & a few friends who I've told.

Ally xoxo

Former Member

If you live in London or nearby it might be worth considering going to the maytree suicide respite centre - it saved my life and stopped me being hospitalised.

Former Member

I live in Liverpool, so I am miles away from London

I've got another therapy session tomorrow, my mother in law is going to come in with me so we can discus my options! I'm not looking forward to it! :crying:

Former Member

If you can get someone to get you there it's worth giving it a try. Have a look at the website and see what you think.

Former Member

I've just had a look, it's looks pretty good! I've sent the link to my fiancé & his mum and they're gonna have a look and we're gonna talk about it when they get home from work!

Former Member

So my therapy session today has been cancelled! I just don't know what to do, I so needed to speak to someone today and see if there is more help for me! feel totally let down!

Aurora

*hug* - I'm afraid I don't have a lot to add on to what MissRiot has already said, the advice she has offered is amazing. Liverpool isn't the best when it comes to offering Borderline Personality Support, there really isn't much in Liverpool or around it what offer specific support for BPD neither. But it's great to here you have given therapies such as DBT a go, and are trying to look for alternative therapies.

Things sound a bit overwhelming at the moment, so I can only imagine how frustrating it might have been to have your therapy session cancelled, were you able to rearrange with your therapist? - If you did want someone to just talk to, you could always try helplines, etc. They won't be able to suggest best places for support etc, but can be a listening ear.

If you are one of those that struggle with therapy sessions being cancelled, it might be worth making the sessions earlier on in the week, or mid week, rather than a Friday, as with Friday's you kind of have to wait over the weekend before being able to make another appointment.

How are things going for you at the moment, Ally?

Former Member

Yeah I've noticed that Liverpool isn't the best for mental health support, especially with eupd. I've even tried private but I just couldn't afford it!!

I managed to get an emergency appointment with the duty practitioner, she was really lovely and we've got a mini crisis plan for over the weekend, so I feel better for knowing I have numbers to call if I need it. I've got into the routine of going to therapy every Friday now so I don't really want to change it.

Thinks just aren't good today, I'm just not feeling like I have anything to fight for anymore. I just feel like I'm letting everyone down and the voices are becoming unbearable, they're just constantly there telling me I'm worthless and fat and that I should just kill myself!