Approaching girls

Former Member

When I see a girl whom I fancy, what should I say to her, in order to have sex with her as soon as possible, as many times as possible and with the minimum outlay of time, money and effort? I've been told by several people that mentioning sex early on will repulse girls, so what non-sexual topics of conversation are most likely to make her wet? I know that there's nothing that is 100% guaranteed to succeed; please tell me what is most likely to succeed with the highest proportion of girls.

I want casual sexual relationships, fuck buddies, hook-ups. I don't want 'someone to go out with', nor do I want to 'be friends first', buy anyone expensive presents, wine and dine them or be interrogated by their families. I don't want to be a free taxi driver, removal man, handyman, babysitter, shoulder to cry on or companion. I only want sex.

Former Member

In your other thread, you said that you'd started this one "with a fresh angle". To be honest, the angle here seems exactly the same as the previous thread. I see no difference in tone, and no acceptance whatsoever of any of the advice that was already given out in your last thread.

I struggle a little bit to believe that anyone who has reached the age of 24 would believe that there is some magic phrase that one can use that would lead to on-demand, no-strings-attached, sex.

Re-read the answers already given to you. You cannot "obtain" sex in this manner and, frankly, the implication of your desires is a tad distasteful.

FWIW, there are plenty of Internet sites available that deal with hooking up to have sex. If that is your sole desire, then that's probably where you are most likely to find a like-minded individual. But, as I said in my other post, you would still be facing difficulties due to your inexperience. Additionally, I'd expect that selecting a random sex buddy on the internet would not be without risks.

I have to admit that I think that your obsession with sex as a goal to the exclusion of any other part of what would otherwise be a healthy relationship is extreme. I suspect and hope that it exists only because you have not yet had sex. If this turns out later not to be the case then you'd probably benefit from some external help around sex addiction. But that is further on down the line.

Former Member

I do believe there are phrases which are likely to result in quick hook-ups. Part of the reason for that is my former colleague (whom I'm no longer in contact with) who hooked up with many girls with ease. He was not rich, famous or handsome. He was overweight, drove an ordinary old car, wore ordinary casual clothes and did not buy expensive presents. At work he was lazy and often left the office early without finishing his day's work. Despite this, he was never challenged or criticised, let alone sacked. He didn't appear to be a good person in any way; however, he had a sex life that Giacomo Casanova would have been envious of. Every time he walked into the office, all the female staff under 30 looked at him longingly; they were psychologically and physically drawn to him as if by magic. They never objected when he dry-humped them in the office at random times. He was the same colleague that I referred to in my previous thread. He said he was born with the gift of being a "fanny magnet" and that such a gift can't be acquired; you either have it for life or you never have it. I still don't understand his appeal - I found him overbearing and arrogant.

I've tried 'hook-up sites'; I had no success there either. Those sites are full of fake profiles and scammers. The subscription fees are significantly higher than those of regular dating sites. There are multiple times more men than women on hook-up sites; the ratio makes it extremely difficult to compete - I feel like I'm trying to win a race in an old three-wheeled van, against Ferraris and Lamborghinis.

If a major reason for me being unable to get sex is that I'm inexperienced in sex, how do I gain sufficient sexual experience in order to be permitted to have sex?

Former Member

Effectively what you are saying you want is a prostitute.

This might come as a surprise, but women have feelings, emotions and are not just pieces or meat created for sexual exploitation. Yes, there will be women who are keen on purely sexual relationships, but I suspect that would also mean being treated like a human being.

Personally, I think your attitude is vile. You're not going to get anywhere in life, sexually or personally, unless you change your outlook and accept that woman are real like people who can do and do a lot more than open their legs to desperate men wanting a hole to shove their dick into.

Former Member

If your colleague was hooking up with girls regularly like you say, then the reason why he was being successful is likely down to one thing - confidence. He was confident in his ability because he'd succeeded with whatever he was doing, before.

You likely did not witness it, but I guarantee you that there was a period before his "success" where he was knocked back countless times. That phase is currently where you are.

The difference between where you are now and where you'd like to get to is likely down to pure luck, happening across someone who finds you attractive and thinks "Yeah, ok then.".

My strong suspicion is that you do not help those odds by keeping in your mind "I want to have sex with this girl" whilst you're chatting her up. If you do that, then it will be apparent, in your spoken and body language, what your intention is. It will be off-putting to the vast majority of people you talk to, and will become more so as you get older.

I'm running out of ways to express this to you now, so this will probably be amongst my last input to this debate. Put the idea of sex out of your mind when you are approaching new girls. Even if that's what you [ultimately, sadly] want, put it out of your mind anyway. Inexperienced desperation is not a good sell.

Find a common bond or interest in an area of life that does not involve sex, and discuss that and other meaningless trivia until you have "the moment". Congrats, you've pulled. Now go on a few dates and see if you can maintain interest without sex. If you can, you may reach a stage where you can actually have sex and it won't be some weird predatory advance it'll be the natural next thing to do. Congrats, you have a [sexual] partner. Now, at that point, if you REALLY wanted, you could dump that partner and move on to someone else. Hopefully you won't want to, and you'll have gotten over your ideas about having a girl to treat as a living sex doll.

Former Member

I'm with Ella and Mist on this.

I, as a female, don't like getting approached in this way. It's quite creepy tbh. No idea why you think it's ok?

You need to treat females as humans and not some sex doll. We have feelings too you know!

Former Member

Hi Adam,

This thread seems to be a continuation of your previous one so I'm going to close this now too as it feels like the community here has offered you all the advice they can in this area. The way in which you talk about women is also proving to be offensive to the women of this community and isn't an approach that we can support here on TheSite.org.

I'd invite you to consider the advice you have received here and take some time to reflect on the time that many women have spent responding to you. They are real women and they are worth listening to.

You mentioned in your other thread the difficulties you have found in getting support of some kind such as talking therapy. If you wanted to post about this then we would be more than happy to help you work through your options in terms of getting some support as it sounds like it's something you have been looking for for some time.

If you have any questions about using the community going forward do feel free to PM myself or James.