Threesome

Former Member

My gf wouldn't mind experiencing sex with a girl in a threesome, she would like to please a girl and she also likes the idea oh her and another girl both doing things to me.

Sounds pretty amazing right, but is it?

The fantasy sounds great, and we agreed that if it was planned it would probably be weird and not work, but as we are both up for it, I guess if it happens naturally somehow then we both now its something that we are up for which is cool.

I wondered of opinions from you amazing lot who always shed knowledgable light on these subjects

Former Member

Hi localboy,

Its good to know that u and ur gf are in a agreement with this which is really important for any relationship to keep trust and honesty there. More importantly it sounds like ur gf was more concerned what u was going to think about it but u are alright with it which is good for u and her. I think if u were in that situation right now and u didnt feel confortable or anything then I think what u mentioned about her would be the type of person to stop and put ur own interests at heart.

This sounds like a genuine relationship u both got and u know ur both be there for each other if one person doesnt feel comfortable with the situation. Your gf seems very loyal, honest and trustworthy but remember its about ur happiness two.

I think sometimes in a relationship u need to explore different things with u and ur partner depending wether u both like it or not. You mentioned a threesome, this is something u both want to try and u wouldnt go about it if u didnt want this to be any different. Wether u find it unconfortable at first maybe suggest u and them both to foreplay as in do things to each other and act sexy. Thats a good start to do. Also taking it in turns of getting intimate with each other will be fair and when it comes to u all doing it then maybe suggest to them that as ur a guy u want them to dress up sexy for u or someone kiss u and someone be on u.

You dont want it to look like it was planned. I would act upon it as u said a fantasy where this doesnt happen. Maybe u all going through the plan before hand and checking or everyone is ok will make it easier and going with the flow can make this more easier for u all. Those are the things u just need to bare in mind.

Remember safe sex is really important. There is lots of information and advice on The Site if ur not sure and this mentions about relationships, sex, intimacy etc.

I hope this is helpful?

Former Member

I favor the planning approach. Don't let such a thing be coincidental. The aftermath of a threesome was a breaking point for many couples. Pick the girl out together, be sober(!) at any part of the process, talk extensively about it, make sure nobody is holding back any doubts because they don't want to ruin the fantasy for someone else. Nobody can be miffed at the other for pulling a veto. I swear if you are not both 100% on the same side on this, your relationship will take a hit and many cannot recover. Just because you thought you both were on the same side, doesn't explain away the emotions your GF (or you) could be having, when she sees you enjoying yourself with another woman. You can regret those things even if you thought it'd be fine beforehand. If there is any reluctance from anyone, don't push and pull to convince.

SarahR

Hi localboy

It sounds like you're being sensible in wanting some advice on this before going ahead with a threesome with your girlfriend. I would echo what others have already said on this thread and say that, despite any awkwardness that may come up, it's definitely better to make sure everyone is on the same page before you find yourself presented with the opportunity. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to try this together and it could be a positive experience for you both, but there are things it'd be wise to consider:

Safe sex - CrazyCat has already mentioned safe sex and how important it is that everyone is on board with protection against STIs. The problem with just letting something like this happen with no prior plans is that you may not know for sure that the third person understands how important it is to be safe.

Making sure it's what you both want - It sounds as though both you and your partner feel this would be a positive experience, but it's worth giving each other plenty of opportunities to talk it through before it happens. Threesomes can potentially bring up feelings of jealousy, inadequacy and awkwardness which can catch people off-guard, even if they initially thought it was a good idea. This won't necessarily happen to you; it's just a good idea to give each other the chance to bring up any concerns before it happens.

Choosing the right person - Obviously choosing the person you want to approach needs consideration also. It might seem sexy and fun to just go with the flow, but there are risks involved with this approach. Is this something the third person definitely wants? Do they understand it's important to be safe? Will things get awkward afterwards or during? (This last one is especially important if there is a friendship involved which may take a hit as a result).

It sounds as though you're concerned that if you plan things too heavily it'll just be really stilted and awful when it happens - which is not necessarily true! Spending time with the third person and talking everything through could actually be exciting and fun. Even just talking about the fantasy with your girlfriend could help with this as well, even if you change your mind and decide not to do it.

Keep talking about it with your girlfriend and be safe

Former Member

Hi everyone, thanks to all of you who have replied, I really take great points from all of you.

I definitely do not want to do anything which means my relationship will take a hit, and yes I will have to be careful, as mentioned above, emotions and feelings will come into it, and who truly knows how it might made us feel. If this was two hot strangers then it would be different, but she is the girl I love...

Hmm, I think we will talk more about it, its not going to happen any time soon, we have amazing sex with each other, and I want to please her so much, and she does me, I think that I would be happy with her touching a girl and her and a girl touching me, but maybe I would really not want the girl to touch her tbh? I guess if we chose the right girl then it would not be a problem for me.

I am a very monogamous person and like to think of my partner as only mine and that drives me in other aspects of our relationships with how much I put in, I THINK (cant say unless it happened) that if she cheated I could never forgive her. But she has gave me no reason not to trust her, she is so open and honest and I totally trust her which made this fantasy seem quite a nice idea.

Bearing all this food for thought you have gave me in mind, I am thinking that we will have plenty more discussions about it before it is a real possibility.

I would hope that it is great and takes our sex to a new exciting level.

Thanks again

Former Member

Hi, local boy

As someone who has been in a three way relationship for the last ten years, I thought I would weigh in. Sensible Sarah, I think, has lots of good advice in her post as well.

I libpve with two bi females and we have a great, well organized relationship. Yes, lots of sex, which is exciting and fun. Lots of variety when threes re concerned, with an occasional fourth, but that's rare.

If it's a fling, obviously, apart from safe sex, there are few concerns. Let your girlfriend choose who she wants as the third and go from there. You could do this at a club or a bar or wherever, but it is important that she choose.

On the appointed evening, let everything evolve naturally. Let the two women explore each other first. I would guess they'll want you to watch, but don't join in for a time. It is wonderful to see two women enjoying each other, and you'll likely learn a thing or two. When they ask you to join, take your time. Concentrate on your girlfriend first and take her cues. One great way to Take this to the next level is to have your gf mount and ride you while girl 2 sits on your face. You could enjoy her orally and your gf gets the satisfaction of you inside her. Lots of variations, but remember, do not push. Take your lead from them.

I hope this helps. Report back once you've had the experience!
Loki

Former Member

I completely understand where it coming from Localboy. I think thats a good decision that u made in order to make the relationship more fun and exciting. I can understand u may need to talk to ur gf about this as its only fair.

I agree totally what u said about u only want ur gf for urself and not let anyone touch her that way. I know this is something u are willing to do with someone else as well but u seem to not of forgotten that it's only fun and nothing more with the other girl.

There's no need to decide now what to do but having this conversation with ur gf is best. It maybe that u and ur gf don't both do it with someone else. You both got to have that conversation. You want to feel that it's fair on all of u and not just one person.

You seem to have done the right thing and I hope ur gf can see that. You are a really nice guy to be cherishing ur gf the way a girl wants to be treated.

Good Luck x