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hi, i need abit of help/advice

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
hi guys im new here!
ok so im at college and basically a few months ago this lad in my lesson recently started talking to me at first I replyed so I didn't seem rude but know he message me every night and it gets annoying but he said he really likes me and he'd been thinking about it a lot! and although I really appreciate that I don't feel the same way ? if he means it in the same way, now im scared to reply as I don't want to sound mean/rude and hurt feelings D: I need help as to what to say please D::( :no::(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    life_can_be_hard wrote: »
    hi guys im new here!
    ok so im at college and basically a few months ago this lad in my lesson recently started talking to me at first I replyed so I didn't seem rude but know he message me every night and it gets annoying but he said he really likes me and he'd been thinking about it a lot! and although I really appreciate that I don't feel the same way ? if he means it in the same way, now im scared to reply as I don't want to sound mean/rude and hurt feelings D: I need help as to what to say please D::( :no::(

    Firstly, welcome to TheSite message boards!

    It's worth remembering you're don't have to reply to anybody that you don't want to, you have your own life and in reality people don't reply all the time anyway and that's more than okay.

    I'd say it's worth bringing it up with him though, because he may see it as you leading him on or something like that. Plus it's making you feel uncomfortable.

    Maybe you could just message saying what you've said to us, that you appreciate it but you don't feel the same way? You're feelings matter just as much as his do and sometimes it's important that we put ourselves first and to make ourselves happy and comfortable
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thankyou!:) And thankyou so much for replying!

    yes I feel like I need to reply, because I don't want him to think im ignoring him (although I want to) but im worried what if I have interpreted what he said wrong? Although I highly doubt it, like he is nice and everything but (ok the secrets out) I haven't had a relationship before and I don't feel im ready.. but I cant just say 'im sorry no' D: I'd rather just be friends, but I don't know im rubbish with this stuff D:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's understandable, I think most people feel like that a lot which can really make things difficult at times because you don't want to come across as rude, but you really don't want to reply either.

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with not being in a relationship before and being not ready for one is perfectly okay too. There's no certain age or time you have to be ready by, all individuals are different.
    Maybe it's not about just saying 'I'm sorry no', you could tell him that you think he's a good friend? Or something similar, I think that tends to get the message across to people a lot of the time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thankkyou your so kind! i'll reply but maybe in the morning, and try to be as nice as possible about it without sounding rude.. I appreciate your help and advise :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    life_can_be_hard wrote: »
    thankkyou your so kind! i'll reply but maybe in the morning, and try to be as nice as possible about it without sounding rude.. I appreciate your help and advise :)

    Reply whenever you feel ready, there's no rush :)
    Hope it goes okay!
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