Struggling

Former Member

I've never posted here before or ever been struggling as much as I am now so I don't really know what to say.

I don't know where my life is going and that scares me. I've somehow ended up in my old job that is ok but very full on and stresses me out a lot. I want to get back to my old position but need to relearn stuff and am feeling pressured to get there with little support. I don't even know if I really want the job but I don't have anywhere else to go.

I feel completely lost, useless, incompetent and that I'm getting on my family's nerves now. On my days off I just want to hide away from the world which means my social life is dying. I just want to stop feeling like this

Former Member

Hi Lexi, im sorry to hear what ur going through.

Can I ask how u managed to go back to ur old job u once did? What happened to ur previous job before? I dont know if I understand clearly enough what job is ur job and also if its based in the same company.

Im getting the sense that maybe u were not well at the time in ur previous job and so u had to quit that job and now ur doing ur old job which u dont find at all easy or supportive. Is that right? Let me know if Im wrong.

Could getting ur previous job back be an idea right now or is that not possible? Maybe talking to the manager at ur work and asking for a bit more support might help. Sorry to ask so many questions. I just want to get a more of an understanding and try to think of a solution for u.

Things must not be easy else where as u mentioned at home. You shouldnt have to keep ur feelings and emotions bottled up for anyone, especially with ur family. Are u getting any counselling with how ur feeling? I think talking to someone could help.

I hope things start to improve and remember its about ur happiness what comes first therefore if your not happy then the best thing for u to do is find something what will make u happy.

Hugs x

Former Member

Hi, sorry for the confusion. I have now gone back to my old job and quit my part time one so its my only job now. Ive been offered an assistant manager position but its been a year since i did it and have forgotten alot of the paperwork stuff so think im just getting stressed about that.

My family are great, i do talk to them all the time about it and they offer me support but i think sometimes when things dont sink in and then i ask the same questions again the next night they can get a bit annoyed which i understand.

The management structure is all over the place at work at the moment as well with staff moving around which is causing more stress to me as i dont know where i am. I had a good cry this morning and then tried to remind myself that work is not life and had a good afternoon with my sister.

Im just pretty much up and down all the time, ill have a chat with my mum and sister and feel better and get up the next morning and feel back to square one. Im just finding it hard to be positive at the moment

Former Member

Its good to know that u was able to get away from work and spend sometime with ur sister. How did it make it u feel? I know what u mean by family. I know its true what people say, u cant pick ur family but u know they will always be there for u.

When ur not at work how do u feel then? Now I get a sense of knowing what ur work environment is likeand what ur current job is. Thank you for explaining that to me. Being a manager must be pretty tough. Im not trying to sound negative in any way but can u cope being responsible for the up keep of the business? I know u mentioned about ur last job quiting. Why did u quit in the end?

Please try making some time out for urself. Even if its relaxing in the bath for an hour, having a glass of wine, watching a film or speaking to a friend on the phone can help u feel a bit more postive and relaxed. Could u manage to do that? Would speaking to a counseller help?

Its not gonna be like this forever. You may of moved in a couple of years time or still at company but not head manager no more but whatever path u take u know it will be the right one. You know u got the site aswell

Here if u wanna talk x

Former Member

Thanks for replying. I quit last time because i'd been in the job way too long and wanted to try different things. At the beginning of the year i found myself in a part time job with no progression prospects so decided to come back and see if i can give the manager thing a try.

Im not sure if i want to go as far as manager but would like to try assistant and do the next bit of training. I was assistant manager before but had a good boss then and found it ok.

Generally i feel a bit down in myself that not only have i gone back to the only job ive ever really had, its in a coffee shop (not the hardest job to get into) and i have no idea what else to do or even if i trained for anything else. Thats really getting me down at the moment and i feel pretty useless. If this doesnt work out i have no idea what else to do or if i could handle doing something else. Im trying to be positive and not worry about anything and take things as they come but its hard

Former Member

Whenever I get in a bit of a funk I direct efforts into the following areas: health, wealth and happiness. They don't even have to be mutually exclusive. Health is straight-forward: less booze; more sleep; exercise; eat right. It always lifts my mood. Wealth is a bit trickier but do-able: spend some time putting effort into acquiring the skills your ideal job would require of you; if you don't know what your ideal job would be spend some time doing research on careers. Happiness is just putting time aside for doing stuff you really enjoy - and if you don't have something then try summat new out you think you might like.

I think a little purposeful movement does wonders generally for ones psyche.

Former Member

Well I'm up and down at the moment, had a good day yesterday but down again today and feeling generally shitty. General rule for shifts here is that you get any 2 days between Friday and Thursday off but not necessarily together so I have I day off then working 5 then another day off then working 4. So I'm also miserable about that.

I just can't believe I'm back here again after saying I would never come back. I haven't moved forward with my life at all when it seems that I should have have by now and I'm fed up of doing the same thing still. And even if I do find something else now, my cv is a load of crap with no coherence to it. I just want to feel settled and happy and I can't

Former Member

hey lexi :wave:

Really feel for you - working is such a big part of our lives isn't it? You spend so long there we want to be happy - as much as you can be :yes:

It's normal to feel up one day and down the next - you are still adjusting to new work patterns and it sounds to me, like you feel a bit overwhelmed about it all. Its hard re-learning work - and trying to find where you fit in. I know you have worked there before, but it sounds like you have had to get back into the swing of things, and there are things you need to go over that you might have forgotten. It can be a horrible feeling, feeling like the newbie - is there anyone you could talk to at work about getting more support if you need it, or even just chatting through how you are feeling? That could help you - just making someone else aware of how you are finding things. It's great to hear that your family are helping you through this. :yes:

It can feel like we haven't moved forward when we are back in a job we think we have left behind us - but that's not to say you havent acquired lots more skills and expertise along the way. You will have worked in other jobs, where you have met new people, learnt new things, and so now - you are probably in a better position for this role, than you were before, as you have had the time to work elsewhere and gain transferrable skills. It can be hard to see things positively on the down days, but try not to get too stressed about it. It might be an idea for you to think about what you want to do - and where you want your career to go in the next couple of years. It can be a good way of working out what is most important to you. You might also want to think about speaking to careers advice counsellor - who can help you think about your skills, and your options, and where you might like to develop into. :thumb:

I hope this helps you a little bit - you can always chat to us on here, whenever you need to. Let us know how you are getting on *hug*