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Ex
Former Member
Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey well it been a year now since my ex broke up with me he was my first bf but I have kissed 3 boys in the last year but the thing is everytime I kissed them I just fell so guilty that I shouldn't be doing this and I just start thinking about my ex I miss him so much and I haven't loved anyone els since he broke up with me what if I never get over him I miss. Him like mad and I just can't seem to be happy without a bf it's really hurting me 
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Comments
That's your problem right here. You define your self-worth through other people. Not through your accomplishments. Happiness can only come from inside. If you like you who are, if you are ok with the choices you make and if you are proud of the achievements you accomplish. You make the mistake of not making your life about you, but about an external factor that you hope brings you happiness. A partner alone never brings you happiness. I am active on other web portals that deal with relationship issues and you wouldn't believe the amount of unhappy people in relationships. Also, for the shit cherry on top: If you are miserable like you are, you are less likely to attract a partner. What you have to do is a fundamental change in how you think. Try your best to live a rich and fulfilling live and interesting people will come into your life by themselves.
A good way to create happiness is with having friends. Being lonesome sucks for the vast majority of people. Idk why everyone hates you and who "everyone" precisely is, but there are a lot of people that are looking for a friend to share their time and or hobbies with. Which brings me to my second point which brings satisfaction: hobbies. Nowadays I feel like fostering hobbies in our children is so passé. Just give them a iPad and they will occupy themselves for hours on end. It is not a fulfilling waste of time though. Go find yourself a hobby, find people with similar interests and you will find friends. Reaching accomplishments and creating nice memories is what life is all about, in my opinion. The quality of life is the sum of the happy moments.
Just to repeat: Happiness is not something that happens to the fortunate. It is something that has to be created by yourself.
StrubbleS has brought up some good points about filling your life with activities and experienes that can bring more happiness and satisfaction to you, but that don't involve being in a relationship. Your sadness over the relationship ending is making you focus on how you can make the pain go away by having a boyfriend again or even getting back to together. It's completely natural to feel this way - it's hard to get accustomed to life without a boyfriend and it takes time to recover.
Expressing how you feel about the situation does help by allowing you to explore what you're feeling and the reasons behind that. Do you have any friends that can support you?
As StrubbleS said, spending time with others is a great way to not only distract you from these feelings, but also for building bonds and happy experiences with others.
I notice that you've said that everyone hates you - can you tell me a bit more about who you're referring to and why you think that?
Could spending a bit more time with friends and family help u to move urself away from the situation for now? Maybe organising a girls night in would be good to have people around u who care and ur have lots of fun two.
Maybe trying to focus ur mind on how u feel and what will make u happy will help u get over ur ex slowly. Just making more time for u when u couldnt before is part of looking after urself and showing ur ex ur happy in ur own skin. You just need that bit of confidence.
Your not the first one this has happened two. What ur feeling is completely normal. Yh ur still gonna have feelings for ur ex and u think ur life has ended because of it but there will be someone out there for u one day. I think having some time out for urself right now will make u stronger.
If ur ex texts or calls then try and put on a brave face and dont bother answering him no matter how tempting u might be. Your just gonna feel worse and u deserve a lot better. You seem like a lovely girl and u deserve someone lovely just like urself.
Im here if u wanna talk
Hugs xx