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Where has my sex drive gone?

I just turned 40, yesterday. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (we are gay) for almost 8 years. In the beginning our sex life was great, regular and adventurous. As the years have gone on it has slowed down considerably. He has cheated several times. I am sure somewhere in my mind that plays a part.
I have had my testosterone tested and its normal. I can literally go days and not even have a sexual thought cross my mind. Almost as if its non-existent. We have not had sex for probably 5 months. The thought itself actually turns me off. This is not just with him, but anyone...guy or girl. I feel nothing.
Obviously this puts a considerable strain on our already screwed up relationship. Not sure what to do. I am on narcotics for 3 crushed disks in my lower back and I am in a considerable amount of pain on a regular basis. I am also much more tired and lethargic than I used to be.
Is this a normal mid life decrease in my sexuality? Do others experience this? Is it physical from the pain and medication? Is it mental from the issues we have had in our relationship? Is it everything together?
Worst part, I don't look 40. Most figure me to be 30 tops. So I am always getting looks and stares. I do not believe I am great looking, but apparently others (guys and girls) do and this really upsets my boyfriend. Funny thing, in the beginning I was the jealous one, now he is. Crazy. I think he truly believes that I am now cheating, because he did and because I don't have sex with him. I am not cheating though.
Can anyone help?
I have had my testosterone tested and its normal. I can literally go days and not even have a sexual thought cross my mind. Almost as if its non-existent. We have not had sex for probably 5 months. The thought itself actually turns me off. This is not just with him, but anyone...guy or girl. I feel nothing.
Obviously this puts a considerable strain on our already screwed up relationship. Not sure what to do. I am on narcotics for 3 crushed disks in my lower back and I am in a considerable amount of pain on a regular basis. I am also much more tired and lethargic than I used to be.
Is this a normal mid life decrease in my sexuality? Do others experience this? Is it physical from the pain and medication? Is it mental from the issues we have had in our relationship? Is it everything together?
Worst part, I don't look 40. Most figure me to be 30 tops. So I am always getting looks and stares. I do not believe I am great looking, but apparently others (guys and girls) do and this really upsets my boyfriend. Funny thing, in the beginning I was the jealous one, now he is. Crazy. I think he truly believes that I am now cheating, because he did and because I don't have sex with him. I am not cheating though.
Can anyone help?
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Comments
I wonder if that medication has an effect on what you are going through. If you think there is a possibility that it is, it might be a good idea to see your doctor about changing your medication or dosage of the medication.
It's worth bearing in mind that this site is designed for 16-25 years olds, so you might find that Relate will be of more tailored for your situation. http://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-sex. This site is great for people with difficulties in their relationships in the UK