Suffer from low self esteem=self harming

Former Member

Hi I suffer from low self esteem which has led me to self harm and has pushed my girlfriend away from me as she didn't know what would trigger me to self harm. I'm ashamed of my past and need help. Thanks

Former Member

Hey there Liam,

A warm welcome to TheSite.org message boards, it's great to see you reaching out to people on here, that's a great positive step to take in the right direction. It's also a positive to see that you are aware of what's going on for you, and that self esteem has affected you in the way it has, and you can now make positive changes to improving that.

Having had self esteem issues myself in the past, I know what a struggle it can be and how it can be tough as shit to change that, but I found introducing myself to things like volunteering had major implications on my self esteem, have you ever considered doing any volunteering? I've also found team sports to be a great one to, allowing myself to get involved my peers and community, and having that 'social' side. But sadly self esteem can't be changed at the click of two fingers, it can often take a hell of a lot of time, but if it's really something you want, you'll give it the time it needs.

TheSite.org also have a fab article on Building Self Esteem that might be worth checking out when you're free! - The article goes through five steps you can improve your self esteem, and allow yourself to feel better about yourself. Another thing that might be worth considering is talking to your GP about your self esteem, they can offer you therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is designed to target irrational thoughts.

How do you feel about your self harm at the moment? Do you want to change that behavior? It's a good thing you notice what triggers your self harm, have you approached anyone about self harm in the past? Often changing the self harm behavior can be really difficult, especially if were using it as a coping technique, because it's quite addicting. But it's about slowly making those positive steps to stopping. TheSite.org had held an expert chat on ways to cope with self harm, various people had sent in questions related to self harm, and had various people respond, including Rachel from selfharm.co.uk - The transcript might be worth a quick look to!

What do you enjoy doing? Often distracting yourself while you start noticing your mood dropping, and when you do want to turn to self harm can really help, for example, many people find sports helpful, and others find art helpful, what kind of things do you enjoy doing? Even if it's just sticking a movie on, or having friends around?

Do let us know how you're getting on, and massive well done on reaching out to users here *hug*
Best wishes,
WhispersOfTheHeart