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To Un-friend that EX?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
It seems to me a common feeling to be curious about that ex boyfriend or girlfriend, I wonder what they're up to these days? or have they met someone new? being just a couple of questions that we might use as reasons to look them up on facebook...

Personally I have deleted both my Exes on facebook, reasons being seeing constant updates were not helping in the getting over it phase of the breakup.

So what im wondering is whats the general feeling among us when it comes to deleting an ex(or not) we are no longer friends with in real life on FB?
What are the reasons for keeping vs. deleting?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Exes have always been the ones to unfriend me - I've usually hoped that I can remain on amicable terms after relationships and have the possibility of staying in touch and maybe catching up with them every so often. Ideally Facebook would be a good way to do that - low level contact that shouldn't get in the way of either person moving on. That hasn't worked out that way because in two cases there really wasn't anything left on either side after the relationship ended, and the other case because I still had feelings for her. Not seeing what the ex I still liked was getting up all the time to was probably a blessing in disguise.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think when you're in the process of getting over someone, absolutely no contact is a great idea because as you say, seeing updates of their lives isn't going to help. I also think if you're trying to be just friends with someone straight after you've broken up, even if it is just on FB, you're not allowing yourself to drop all of those feelings which in turn means you're not going to truly get over someone if you still have them in your life - plus you're piling a huge amount of pressure onto yourself if you feel like you need to stay FB friends but you need to get over someone at the same time. It's just not going to help at all.

    But then I think further along in the future, as long as you've moved on from your ex completely, there's no reason why you couldn't start up that contact again as long as you're fully aware you don't want to/won't get back into that difficult thought cycle you've worked so hard to overcome. Having said that, it depends entirely on the circumstances/situation regarding the break up.
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