I self harm and i need help (could be triggering)

Former Member

ok so i self harm not just by cutting. i promised my boyfriend i would stop and he has got to the point of were he checks my arms everyday... the thing is i dont cut on my arms anymore, its on my stomach legs ect. and i have a eating disorder that he has no idea about and i really dont know what to do. he has a history of self harm himself and i dont want to tell him and trigger something so im stuck on if i should tell him or just keep it to myself. he is the only one that knows about my cutting and im still debating on if i should tell anyone else. and by doing this i will probably get called an attention whore but ive heard it all.....:crying::no::(:confused:

Former Member

Awh,I'm sorry you are also a self harmer.I am too although have xut down a lot since I first started which was 7 years ago(I am 18 tomorrow too).

What makes you self harm?Im here if youd like to talk.We all are

Xx

Former Member

Hey \Just me/ :wave:

Welcome to TheSite

Sorry to hear you're struggling with your self harm at the moment. It's quite common for people to react in this way and ask a person to promise to stop - often out of a strong sense of wanting someone to be safe and feeling scared for them, however as our article on this says:

Don’t make them promise not to do it again. A guilt trip won’t help anyone. It can even make things worse, so try not to place emotional demands on them they probably won’t be able to keep. This is about them, not you and your relationship. They need to understand why they are doing it and find their own ways of replacing self-harm. Try not to focus on the self-harm but about what’s going on behind it instead. If you get them to make a promise they can’t keep it may end up causing feelings of shame and, as a result, more secrets.

It sounds like he cares about you but I wonder if any of that ^^ rings true for how it's made you feel to make this promise?

Talking about what you need right now could help? Whether that's just a kind listening ear or help with coping tips and distractions when you're feeling the urge to harm for example. It's really positive that you've been able to open up to him so hopefully you can work together going forward in a way that feels okay for both of you.

We have a good advice article on supporting someone that self harms - one idea might be to ask him to take a look at it or pick out some things that you feel relate to how you feel?

We also have some advice on telling someone you self harm that you may find useful to read. I wonder who you might feel able to trust to confide in at the moment?

You can also get text and email support from the Self Injury Support website if you're feeling alone and want to talk to to someone without being judged: http://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/tess-text-and-email-support-service

Let us know how you're doing *hug*