Mums new partner wants me to call him Dad.

Former Member

My mum got engaged to her new partner within 3 days of my dads funeral and now his son is calling him Mummy, Their wedding is planned for august 15th.
He now wants me to call him dad, Ive refused and its's caused some cahos between everything, I'm refusing to go to the wedding because that means wearing short sleves and im not having my family hate on me again because of my mental health.
When he drunk voicemails me he always leaves the phone call 'Daddy' and says to everyone Im his daughter...

It's really creepy and pissing me of because he isn't my dad....But nothing i do is making him stop

Former Member

Hey Emmalee,

Sorry to hear that you are being treated this way, its terrible to be honest and you have done nothing wrong.

Lets put the fact he is engaged to your Mum and the sad passing of your Father of which you have my condolences, to one side.

To be honest, he sounds like he has issues of his own, that is far from 'normal' or 'mature' behaviour, for a fully grown man to insist that his partners kid call him Dad, or whatever, he has NO right, and its a shame your Mum isn't telling him to leave it. Stick to your guns, your right!

He is being immature and disrespectful, he isn't your Dad, but you know this. The only thing causing chaos is him insisting you do something that you do not want to do, shame on him.

Former Member

Hey Emmalee,

I?m really sorry to hear of the loss of your dad and that you are also having a tough time with your mums new partner, it sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed by everything that is happening and unsupported by your mums partner, who you do not want to call dad.

From what you say I understand you are worried about going to the wedding and you mental health, do check out the following link : http://www.thesite.org/mental-health there are loads of useful articles about mental health here which you might find helpful.

You also say that nothing you do will make him stop asking you to call him dad, it?s clear he is being insensitive of your feelings here and I?m wondering whether you might be able to speak to your mum about the situation. - Sometimes it?s difficult to communicate effectively when our emotions are running so high and sometimes people can find it helpful to write a letter as a way of communicating.
It?s great that you are sharing on here, the forums are a great place to seek advice and support and know that you won?t be judged. Remember you can also use the ?ask a question? service to seek anonymous help from one of the advisors at youthnet too.


Take care Emmalee

Former Member

Hi Emmalee,

It's completely up to you whether you decide to call your step father "daddy" or not. If this isn't sitting well with you, and rightfully so, you are entitled to refuse, so well done for taking a stand. It's normal for you to feel angry and pissed off about all this :impissed:

They might be upset now, but in time they will have to accept it. Make sure you tell your mum how this makes you feel and perhaps she will understand. Making her see that it doesn't mean you are mad at her or not happy for her, but that them getting married doesn't make him your dad but simply your step father. Once she understands, he will hopefully stop too.

Losing your father is something that must still be hard to deal with, and now your mother getting engaged must be a lot to take on *hug*

In terms of the dress at the wedding, would you go if you could wear something else? If so, could you also discuss this with your mother? Perhaps writing her a letter explaining how all this is making you feel, and how you might need a bit more time to adjust to all this, could help?

Let us know how you get on