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oh well, if you want to sit around waiting to be cheated on then be my guest
I just mean people who are the cheating type will do it anyway, regardless of whether I'm snooping through their phone to find suspicious texts or not.
Deep down, I really don't think he's the cheating type - we've had this discussion before; he asked whether if I cheated on him, would I tell him (I said no) and he said he wouldn't cheat on me because it's not his thing, but if he did, he'd tell me about it. Not sure how true that is or not though.
i CANNOT believe that you believe this bollocks.
if he wanted to say 'i love being with you' he would've said that. it is completely different from saying 'i love you' - neither is it something you say by accident.
and SCC is right - you're blatantly gonna stay with him anyway so this is pointless.
it seems you want to leave him but want to wait til you've got a big reason to
I feel more for him than I ever have for anyone else, and could see myself being with him for a very long time if the current problems got sorted.
Sounds a cliche but my head says I should split with him, but my heart says trust him.
but don't be suprised if it goes to bits when its already pear shaped and very suspicious
Quick update: I phoned Phil last night asking if I could go and see him for 5 minutes when he gets to Wolverhampton (where I'm staying; he's a bus driver so he was doing the wolves-stafford service) - I was planning on ending it with him, and preferred to do it face-to-face than over the phone.
He said he didn't want me to see him, because it would "spoil it" (I asked what he meant and he said it'd spoil him seeing me on monday).
So I hung up, then a few mins later texted him saying it's over. He replied straight away, saying I "could have 5 mins" if I wanted to, and I said I didn't need it and that I'd made my decision.
There were a few more texts from him, asking if I wanted him to drop my stuff over today (I said no, I'd sort it on monday) and as he didn't really seem bothered that I'd finished with him, I texted saying "thanks for seeming so bothered..." he replied saying he wasnt bothered, and that he'd texted Wendy telling her not to contact him again (great...now he does it!).
Anyway that was about it until I phoned him at about 1am, when he got home from work. There was a lot of random chat (we're good at that), then I asked how he can suddenly not be bothered about me, when that morning he'd been saying he loved me!
He said "I am bothered about you! But you've got what you wanted" (meaning splitting up). I said I didn't want to split, but it seemed that it was what he was trying to get me to do, and he said he doesn't want to split up with me, he loves me. I asked about the 'not bothered' text, and he said that he meant that about Wendy - that she's doing his head in now (she phoned him earlier to ask about bus times, then started going on about a dog following her or something...and apparently that was enough to bore him to death and make him think he doesn't want to keep in touch with her after all! fickle isn't he! :rolleyes:). Then he said "hopefully I've sorted the Wendy thing, I texted her earlier telling her not to contact me, and hopefully she'll take notice and not get in touch again".
So...it seems like he's willing to drop Wendy, and he still wants to be with me (he offered to keep the text telling Wendy to stop contacting him on his phone so I can see it tomorrow), but I can't do it.
However much I care about him (and I really do), and even if he does go through with cutting Wendy out of his life, I'm suspicious as to why he's had such a sudden change of heart. Before, he said he'd never cut Wendy out of his life completely, yet as soon as I split up with him he's done it! This has happened before; he split with me and got rid of Wendy too, but as soon as we got back together (the split only lasted a day!), he got back in touch with Wendy. This time, he wants us to be together, but he's still saying he'll get rid of Wendy. I'm wondering whether Wendy's the one that's told him she doesn't want to see him anymore, and he's making out like it's him that's done it.
Anyway not that any of you will believe me, but I can't be with him. It's way to much hassle.
Thanks for the advice
But the rest doesnt seem too crazy. My bf and i are the same. Been together about 2 mths and we're like a little old couple. We'll sit both with laptops, i'll occasioanlyl send a msg via msn saying "give us a kiss" and he'll oblige or we get a bit kissy but we often go for hrs not doing anything but smirking at each other.
In public we hold hands and we joke about "public affection" if he kisses me goodbye.
At our parents we kiss like old ppl every so often.
Errr we sleep in the same bed 3-4 times a week. He usually cuddles me but lately we've slept separate. I dont know...
Now i sort of see that as normal for me. Not too clingy and not too distant. Guess its what you perceive and are happy with.
I found that when i tried for more affection, it certainly wasn't turned down, just think the go ahead was needed. Kitts xx
He doesn't turn down affection if I ask for it - like at the moment I've got a bad cold, and felt really rough the other day. I was lying on the sofa with my legs over his (he was watching tv) and I jokingly said that when he'd been ill a few days before I'd been rubbing his back to make him feel better and stuff like that, so I wanted some sympathy from him. He laughed, then started rubbing my leg. Then he came and lied down next to/behind me (I was on my side) and cuddled up to me. Was lovely
Anyway we had a chat on the phone today, and it turns out the reason for all the arguments is that he thinks he's too old for me. He said he loves me and wants to be with me, but he knows that he's getting "more wrinkly by the year" (lol) and that I'll come to my senses and go off him eventually - and he can't risk getting hurt.
I believe him when he says it, because since we've been together he's brought the age thing up pretty much every day, always saying he expects me to go off with someone my own age, and that he's old and boring and I'd be happier without him.
Poor thing.
OMG. You're really thick. Honestly. What tripe he's telling you.
with all due respect, he probably is too old for you tbh
you're not going to get anywhere if you're going to feel sorry for him every time he tries a sob story
:yes: He's playing himself as a victim. Whether it's conscious on his behalf or not, everything you posted screams that he's playing mind games with you. You should tell him to grow up and then completely break off contact for a while since you've split up with him anyway.
He knows that.
But I can't get back with him, and I'm going out there tomorrow to collect my stuff.
Jesus christ, finally.... And I thought I have to pop a blood vessel in my head because of you.
But you don't stop having feelings for someone just like that. Although nope, definitely not getting back with him.
It's sad, but I just cba with it anymore. If he wants to end up old and alone, that's his choice.
He's always said he gets close to people then pushes them away - and regrets it when they leave him - so now he has another one to add to his list