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24, virgin, never been kissed
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all,
As the title says, I'm 24 and have never even pulled a girl nevermind had sex.
I'm not a bad-looking guy (although I'm fairly short at 5'6") and am pretty successful - graduated from Cambridge, have a 6-figure salary, dress very smartly etc, and am very sociable and outgoing. I don't have any hesitation meeting new people and making conversation.
I'm regarded as very popular, have a lot of good friends, and especially a lot of fit female friends. They say how I'm such a nice / sweet / charming etc guy, but nobody ever wants to be with me in *that* way.
Since about age 13 I have been rejected dozens of times by girls, same thing every time that they really like me as a friend but don't feel the same way.
However I've tried to change - looking, "on the pull", not looking whatsoever, trying to not be such a "nice guy" etc, whether meeting people at bars, nightclubs, house parties, through friends, dinners, societies, work, on the internet etc, none of it makes any difference, I just don't seem to be "fanciable".
Friends always say the same thing, that don't worry, you'll meet your princess some day, there's the right person waiting for you etc, but now age 24 and have not even pulled a girl, not even a drunken kiss, I'm getting very worried that it'll always be like this.
Everything in my life is perfect except this, it makes me insecure and is the one thing missing.
x
As the title says, I'm 24 and have never even pulled a girl nevermind had sex.
I'm not a bad-looking guy (although I'm fairly short at 5'6") and am pretty successful - graduated from Cambridge, have a 6-figure salary, dress very smartly etc, and am very sociable and outgoing. I don't have any hesitation meeting new people and making conversation.
I'm regarded as very popular, have a lot of good friends, and especially a lot of fit female friends. They say how I'm such a nice / sweet / charming etc guy, but nobody ever wants to be with me in *that* way.
Since about age 13 I have been rejected dozens of times by girls, same thing every time that they really like me as a friend but don't feel the same way.
However I've tried to change - looking, "on the pull", not looking whatsoever, trying to not be such a "nice guy" etc, whether meeting people at bars, nightclubs, house parties, through friends, dinners, societies, work, on the internet etc, none of it makes any difference, I just don't seem to be "fanciable".
Friends always say the same thing, that don't worry, you'll meet your princess some day, there's the right person waiting for you etc, but now age 24 and have not even pulled a girl, not even a drunken kiss, I'm getting very worried that it'll always be like this.
Everything in my life is perfect except this, it makes me insecure and is the one thing missing.
x
0
Comments
Maybe that sounds wrong. What I mean is that people saying you're nice, you're sweet say that because they can see why you're attractive generally i.e. you have the traits that people should be attracted to, they see you as a friend and only ever considered your relationship as friendship. Have you ever met someone in a circumstance that implied you were after more, i.e. dating site, speed dating?
As a female, I don't like to date people who are TOO nice. I've had longterm relationships with guys who are nice, but they have personality - who are funny, who are confident in themselves, who have similar interests to me.
Sorry if this doesn't help much, maybe it'd help more if you described what sort of circumstances you generally meet women...I don't know - maybe I'm just being useless.
I meet women in all sorts of venues, I'm very good at 'networking' and get introduced to friends of friends etc at bars/nightclubs, parties - house parties, dinners etc, work events and the rest. I hit it off well with them as I have fairly good chat, they're often very impressed if I talk a bit about myself, but it never culminates in anything romantic.
Seriously though, if you can make friends and things like it seems then try and chill. One day youll meet someone who gets to know you as a friend and thinks you'll make an even better boyfriend. You're not alone though, there are plenty of others in similar situations, they just tend not to brag about it like the guys who pull a new lass every night do so you don't hear of them.
when we met he was 21, big muscly rugby player, out every weekend
we had sex, and then he informed me he was a virgin!
my point is, the most unlikely people can be virgins and its not a bad thing
he is totally glad he waited, we`ve now been togther 4 years and are happy as larry, so please...dont worry, as your friend said, ur princess will come one day
going to clubs and slaggin around is not the answer, it`ll happen when its time
Very good point! Although I think it's more the idea that he's not even engaging in a relationship, let alone any sexual aspect? Had your boyfriend previously had girlfriends, people he's dated?
I think it's a case of keep trying, meeting people etc....remember also that people out clubbing though may well be very interested in meeting people, aren't out looking for anything meaningful and in terms of sex and stuff, though it's totally dependant on you, if you did find someone out clubbing who was game for taking it further, it may not be the way you want to first experience sex i.e. with someone you don't know, don't feel 100% comfy with.
be patient my child, it`ll be worth it :thumb:
This is what everyfuckingone is telling me as well: Just wait, the right one will come, MY ASS.
I have to say I shouldn't whine compared to you, since you are 4 further years ahead of me, I have been kissed and am not a virgin anymore.
On the other hand, hell, this is one problem you got. I am a lazy bum struggling through university so he can earn some money and in the meantime I am living on my parents wallet.
It's not the only thing: but girls dig stability and man who can provide stability and support, with a good job and a decent salary. You have got a lot of friends as you said, so you are an economical and social winner, it honestly can't take too long until you find a proper girl, since you seem to be a nice guy and not be too ugly (from your own opinion).
You're right, he may well have money, a good job and salary and be able to provide financially but by no means is that a guarantee that someone'll be along cause they're attracted by financial security. I think Strubbles make a fair point though that you are coming across as someone who has all these pro's - a party animal social life, good job and money, and you feel you're attractive, but if so much is going for you...then why not this? What would you say were your negatives? You paint yourself in a very positive light, is there not a single aspect, bar the bit about women seeing you just as a friend, that you could criticise.
I know when I've called someone sweet and nice and how they should have someone, but knowing that I'm not attracted to them like that, it tends to be physical attraction that is lacking, or I find they're sweetness is because they can be really shy, closed off or say the right things at the right time and I find they're not 'genuine' or saying the right things because they think they should and not talking off the cuff and naturally. Plus you're 24 and that is young and I appreciate your frustration but maybe you do just have to wait and let it happen. Maybe try a new means of meeting people - speed dating, an advert with an agency, profile website maybe?
Maybe being such a success is also quite...intimidating...or comes across as bigheaded or arrogant?
I dont want to intimidate you or anything, but i would like to see a pic of you.
I'd suggest a dating site if your a fairly good looking chap.
from a girls point of view-that is exactly right, no one wants a puppy dog in bed they want an absolute cunt who just oozes sexuality that they want a piece of. best advice ive heard in a while.
and matt- mmmm i bet youre a wicked fuck!
You have no problem meeting girls. I assume you have no problem talking to girls you like, since you haven't mentioned anything. So the problem is getting them to think of you as more than just a friendly guy. Firstly, do not hide how you feel about her. Talk to her like a normal person, but don't talk to her like a friend. Make suggestive jokes, flirt, when you get a rapport going, make contact, touch her etc. If you never make these moves, then the girl will never think of you in this way, unless you're physically really good looking (not 'not bad' or average, really good looking).
A friend of mine (very good-looking) is going out with a guy who's probably kinda similar to you. In his mid-20's, fairly wealthy and outgoing, but not particularly special looking, nor particularly ugly. I was talking to her last week about when they first met at a party. He made jokes about the two of them being together, things like that, and she would've never had thought of him in that way if he'd gone up to her and talked to her as a friend.
Oh, and "high quality women"? Is that what they're known as these days? And 30 women? Some people know how to please their princess the first time.
Nah, girls seem to want to corrupt me :yes:
Generally though, you sound like Bradley off Eastenders. It does sort of depend on what circles you move in. I'm guessing that meat markets aint really your natural habitat, if they were then you'd have well pulled by now.
I'm also guessing you don't go bragging about your salary and stuff, because if you had done, then you'd have attracted some gold digging little tart no problem. But maybe it all just says that you're too nice and too genuine?
A lot of boys would use stuff like that to get a leg over, because they know a lot of girls like blokes with money. I'm not saying you should turn into a cunt or anything, but learn how to big yourself up more.
Hope it works out and that.
If a girl a bloke is after wants a cunt in bed then I'd say they're barking up the wrong tree
I think the OP's state of mind is probably stopping them from "pulling" or forming a relationship rather than any physical or sociological trait or issue. If you're going here and there and everywhere in your social life with your eyes peeled and thoughts on finding a girl then you're pretty much resigning yourself to failure... or a fate worse than that (i.e. the first girl who'll have you, which isn't what you want I don't think).
I think MattLiverpool hit the nail on the head with this comment:
Which is pivotal to any long-standing and worthwhile success with the opposite sex, though it's not something many men do understand to be honest
If I ever read "High quality woman" once again I swear I stab someone in the face.
In fact if you have Sky TV and if it's still on Living TV - check out the program how to find a husband - it follows a 37 year old TV Presenter that really is single and looking to get married and follows her over a 10 week period of dating 50 guys in 70 days.
That might help give you some insight into what women want, but if anyone really knew what they wanted and could get it down on paper they'd have a best seller on their hands. :thumb:
You'll probabaly find they want a bad boy when they're younger and a good boy when they're ready to settle down.
You’re not the only one out there! It makes me feel better and more normal to know I’m not the only one.
It is difficult at times, because I’m always worrying what other people will think of me, I must beat myself up 3/4 times a day over this question; As to why I’m not the same as everybody else.
PS: to everyone else who replied, thanks because its not just the person who asks the question who benefits, there a lot of others out there in the same boat. :thumb:
Hope it helps knowing your not alone