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gay adoption

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I was inspired by the other thread on gay marriage. Basically I'm doing an assignment on this topic for uni; I've researched the legal issues and now I'm thinking about it morally. Does anyone have personal experience?

I'm also looking for views. Personally, I think a kid with gay parents would get bullied at school and it's unfair for that reason. But on the other hand I think it's unfair that people who could maybe look after a child better than many straight people are refused the chance just because they're gay.

This is open to people from anywhere, not just the UK.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kids get bullied for being fat/ginger/strange anyway. If a kid looks vulnerable they'll get bullied and the bullies will forever find something to pick on. Kids are like that, I know.

    I think they should be able to adopt
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think it should be allowed. there are thousands of kids out there who need a home and parents to look after them. does it matter if its two men, two woman or and a man and a woman loking after them as long as they are being loved and cared for properly? i would rather have two dads or two mums than who loved and cared for me than have a mum and a dad that didnt give a toss!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im loathe to go into the "not natural" debate because I know it will be used to say "Kermit is a homophobe" but thats the sentiment I have.

    A child is supposed to have a parent of each gender, in order for it to become balanced with regards gender. A child learns how to react in society through its parents, and for that reason a child should have two parents, and one of those should be a male and one a female.

    Its for the same reason that I believe single-parenthood is extremely undesirable, and whilst in many cases that cant be avoided in a society that allows divorce, it can be abvoided in terms of adoption. Single parents shouldnt be allowed to adopt, and nor should homosexual couples.

    Its not fair on the children, and in my opinion homosexuals should not be allowed to have children, either adoptively or through IVF. Its more than a case of bullying children, its a case of warping a childs development by giving it a warped upbringing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by wee wuman
    i would rather have two dads or two mums than who loved and cared for me than have a mum and a dad that didnt give a toss!

    I echo the sentiment but it is an irrelevance.

    By the very nature of the adoption process, the adoptive parents wont be people "who dont give a toss". Anyone who adopts will be someone who cares, so to distinguish a homosexual adoptor as "someone who cares" is banal in the extreme.

    They shouldnt be allowed to adopt.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Im loathe to go into the "not natural" debate because I know it will be used to say "Kermit is a homophobe" but thats the sentiment I have.

    A child is supposed to have a parent of each gender, in order for it to become balanced with regards gender. A child learns how to react in society through its parents, and for that reason a child should have two parents, and one of those should be a male and one a female.

    Its for the same reason that I believe single-parenthood is extremely undesirable, and whilst in many cases that cant be avoided in a society that allows divorce, it can be abvoided in terms of adoption. Single parents shouldnt be allowed to adopt, and nor should homosexual couples.

    Its not fair on the children, and in my opinion homosexuals should not be allowed to have children, either adoptively or through IVF. Its more than a case of bullying children, its a case of warping a childs development by giving it a warped upbringing.

    Define "natural". Its a slippery concept...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: gay adoption
    Originally posted by dominatrix
    I'm also looking for views. Personally, I think a kid with gay parents would get bullied at school and it's unfair for that reason.

    Do something about the bullies not the bullied!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    I echo the sentiment but it is an irrelevance.

    By the very nature of the adoption process, the adoptive parents wont be people "who dont give a toss". Anyone who adopts will be someone who cares, so to distinguish a homosexual adoptor as "someone who cares" is banal in the extreme.

    They shouldnt be allowed to adopt.

    you have taken me the wrong way or i have put it wrongly. i meant i would rather be with gay parents or straight parents who had adopted me and cared for me than be with biological parents who dont give a shit. i didnt mean that homosexuals are more caring than hetrosexauls!
    and i totally disagree with your opinions on single parent adoption as well as your views on homosexual adoption. being loved and cared for and nurtured by one parent or two of the same sex is fine and many people brought up this way are fine!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by wee wuman
    and i totally disagree with your opinions on single parent adoption as well as your views on homosexual adoption. being loved and cared for and nurtured by one parent or two of the same sex is fine and many people brought up this way are fine!

    Many people brought up this way are indeed "fine", but its interesting to note (apologies for not having exact figures) that those brought up by a lone parent are more prone to underage sex, teenage pregnancy, crime and depression. And as homosexuals are also more prone to depression than straights, I would further suggest that the child brought up by a homosexual couple would again be more prone to depression.

    Basically it is not desirable to be brought up by lone or homosexual parents, be they natural or adoptive, and whilst love and nurture are relevant factors, a straight family will bring up children far better than a gay family or a lone-parent family.

    Lone parenthood cannot be resolved, homosexual parenthood can. And for that reason gays and lesbians should not be allowed to adopt children.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Blagsta
    Define "natural". Its a slippery concept...

    Thats why I didnt want to use that term.

    Though I will say that parents who use IVF are at least CAPABLE of creating children, even if not all the equipment works, but a lesbian couple could have sex with each otehr until they were 90 and no child would ever result.

    Its not that homosexuals are bad, its just that homosexuals are not designed to be parents. It has been shown that in times of over-population there are more homosexuals, I think that shows that they are not *meant* to have children.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit

    Basically it is not desirable to be brought up by lone or homosexual parents, be they natural or adoptive, and whilst love and nurture are relevant factors, a straight family will bring up children far better than a gay family or a lone-parent family.


    says who? what about people that have two parents that beat the crap out of one another, is that a good way to be brought up? what about someone who has two parents but one of them works away the majority of the time? you can have two parents and be brought up to be the biggest scumbag going! my friend was brought up by just her mother and she is no worse or better off than me , who was brought up with two parents.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by wee wuman
    says who? what about people that have two parents that beat the crap out of one another, is that a good way to be brought up? what about someone who has two parents but one of them works away the majority of the time? you can have two parents and be brought up to be the biggest scumbag going! my friend was brought up by just her mother and she is no worse or better off than me , who was brought up with two parents.

    Of course. But I get the feeling Im not explaining myself very well...

    All other things being equal, equal love, equal nurture, equal personality, two straight parents will bring up a child better than one parent or two gay "parents". Its not a slur on gays or lone parents, but to omit one gender from a childs development is damaging. It has been shown in the education system that only having female teachers for boys, in particular, is damaging to their education. It doesnt make female teachers bad teachers, but it does make a gender bias undesirable.

    If things arent equal then it makes less sense, but as I said earlier the adoptive process makes sure that only good parents become adoptors.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    A child is supposed to have a parent of each gender, in order for it to become balanced with regards gender. A child learns how to react in society through its parents, and for that reason a child should have two parents, and one of those should be a male and one a female.

    Yeah I can see your point but I know loads of people from households with parent (s) of only one gender and quite frankly they don't seem any more screwed up than the rest of us. In fact I've seen much weirder cases of confused people come from "natural" families.

    I understand where you're coming from and maybe in an ideal world but the fact is there are children who need to be adopted and nobody to adopt them. The main problem is society, if everyone would accept homosexuality (and I mean ACTUALLY ACCEPT it not be all weird about it) and it was more readily discussed then there wouldn't be so many issues. About children, marriage or otherwise.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *After cooling down and stomping around getting angry with life*
    Sorry if I seemed angry btw. Didn't mean it! You're clearly not just a homophobe as you thought we might think of you.:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by polkadotpenguin
    *After cooling down and stomping around getting angry with life*
    Sorry if I seemed angry btw. Didn't mean it! You're clearly not just a homophobe as you thought we might think of you.:)

    Heh, you didnt seem angry. I just dont think we entirely agree:)

    Maybe a complete ban is a bit extreme, but I certainly think that they should be low down on the list of adoptors. And as there are currently more prospective adoptors than adoptees (or, more accurately, adoptees who arent older and disturbed) I dont think its a huge issue.

    Id certainly never say never, but the fact that they would be loving parents isnt enough to sway my opinion, for the simple fact that all adoptors (just about) would be loving parents.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    its just that homosexuals are not designed to be parents

    "designed"...another dodgy concept...
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    Originally posted by polkadotpenguin
    The main problem is society, if everyone would accept homosexuality (and I mean ACTUALLY ACCEPT it not be all weird about it) and it was more readily discussed then there wouldn't be so many issues.

    I don't think Homosexual's are accepted enough in society at the moment either. That is why I think it would unwise to allow them to addopt.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Skive
    I don't think Homosexual's are accepted enough in society at the moment either. That is why I think it would unwise to allow them to addopt.

    But even if they were accepted I still think it would be unwise to allow them to adopt.

    They should have the same legal standing as common law spouses, but they shouldnt be allowed to adopt.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can I be the one to point out that it is a heterosexual act which has put these children in this position in the first place. So, doesn't this show the "heterosexuals are better placed to bring up children" as a lie?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Man Of Kent
    Can I be the one to point out that it is a heterosexual act which has put these children in this position in the first place. So, doesn't this show the "heterosexuals are better placed to bring up children" as a lie?
    Potentially, although if gay couples were capable of "accidentally" creating new life I'm sure it would be just as commonplace to have children abandoned by gay parents.

    At the end of the day, children up for adoption need a loving, stable set of parents to bring them up. Why can't a homosexual couple provide this?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by piccolo
    Potentially, although if gay couples were capable of "accidentally" creating new life I'm sure it would be just as commonplace to have children abandoned by gay parents.

    Indeed and that kind of supports my point.

    It doesn't matter if someone is gay or straight, it isn't their sexual orientation which makes them a good or bad parent, but rather their responsibility etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Man Of Kent
    It doesn't matter if someone is gay or straight, it isn't their sexual orientation which makes them a good or bad parent, but rather their responsibility etc.
    Seconded. It strikes me as an unjust prejudice to say that gay couples "may not adopt".
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think anyone who wants to adopt and who could provide a child with love and stability, should be allowed and encouraged to adopt, regardless of their sexual orientation or their marital status. Up to half the children in care dont get a single enquiry from people wanting to adopt, which I think is shocking. ANYBODY who can give these children a chance of a proper home should be able to.
    I really cant see why someone being homosexual should make a difference at all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Many people brought up this way are indeed "fine", but its interesting to note (apologies for not having exact figures) that those brought up by a lone parent are more prone to underage sex, teenage pregnancy, crime and depression. And as homosexuals are also more prone to depression than straights, I would further suggest that the child brought up by a homosexual couple would again be more prone to depression.

    Got anything to back this up? There is no evidence to say that depression is hereditary or more likely to occur in homosexual couples. So do you have a link? Or do you want me to write about factors that cause depression because sexuality is not one? maybe people repressing their sexuality is a factor and social pressure, but just because somebody is gay/bisexual doesn't mean they will become depressed.

    As for being prone to depression, there is a factor of what is known as learned behaviour involved, but it is as likely to occur within a same sex couple as in a heterosexual couple.

    As for the lone parent idea, are you talking about the new right ideas of what they call the 'underclass'? Just wondering if you have anything like a link or book reference to back this up as I was brought up in a single parent family and don't believe it a factor in any of the above. Not a single factor alone as my mother compensated for my father's absence.
    Basically it is not desirable to be brought up by lone or homosexual parents, be they natural or adoptive, and whilst love and nurture are relevant factors, a straight family will bring up children far better than a gay family or a lone-parent family.

    Sorry if I sound like I'm being arsey but I'd love to see some evidence to back this up too. I don't believe straight families can always bring up children any better and I think with the idea of crime and depression, factors such as poverty, emotional deprivation (with the parents not being there or showing interest), and education are more valid than the sexuality of the parents.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    New point:

    If a child is born to a gay mother, the mother has the right to raise that child, no one would take away her baby just because she is gay. If she and her partner could raise this child, why could another couple not adopt?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit, c'mon man.

    I found some of your claims before offensive and I'd like to see what info you got to back them up.

    I'm not picking a fight, I just want to see where you got your sources from.
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