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Help! Telling someone you like them
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
OK, I work in a museum and fancy one of the museum assistants. (I'm 23 and I think she is around that age too).
I leave next friday 31st October, but before I leave I want to find some way of telling ger I like/care about her without making a total idiot of myself. I don't want to be full on, but equally I want her to realise I'm talking more than just friends. She has absolutely no idea I like her and I'm not 100% sure she's single, but we get on well 'cause she has a great personality.
We are supposed to be going out for a drink the day before I leave with some other people, but If I say anything, it'll most likely be the day I go. What makes it more difficult is not only knowing what to say, but also finding the right place and time. You don't want the hole office hearing, after all!
There is also the option that we meet after I leave in town or whatever, as we live fairly near each other, so can stay in touch.
I woul be grateful for any ideas. Cheers.
I leave next friday 31st October, but before I leave I want to find some way of telling ger I like/care about her without making a total idiot of myself. I don't want to be full on, but equally I want her to realise I'm talking more than just friends. She has absolutely no idea I like her and I'm not 100% sure she's single, but we get on well 'cause she has a great personality.
We are supposed to be going out for a drink the day before I leave with some other people, but If I say anything, it'll most likely be the day I go. What makes it more difficult is not only knowing what to say, but also finding the right place and time. You don't want the hole office hearing, after all!
There is also the option that we meet after I leave in town or whatever, as we live fairly near each other, so can stay in touch.
I woul be grateful for any ideas. Cheers.
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Comments
Try not to stumble over her when you say it, i know its very hard but try to be as calm as you can (im a fine one to talk lol)....
Bring it on to her by saying something like "(name of girl), theres something i want to tell you"
Then say how you feel e.g. you care for her and like her a lot!!
Hope things turn out for you mate, good luck
It can't be done, I'm afraid. In love, one is ALWAYS setting oneself up for a possible blowout. BUT, even if she says "no", it's only YOUR perception of yourself as an idiot. I'm sure that if you tell her in a nice way, she'll be flattered and think of you as being very sweet.
Just take the chance and go for it!
I'll get her details before I leave, but it will be difficult to meet up with her alone because she lives with another museum assistant (a guy, who I'm also mates with. I don't THINK theyr'e dating...!
So, if we arrange to meet up after I leave he may be there too.
We are going out for adrink next thursday night but as a group, so I'm saying nothing then! Plus I'll be the only sober one as I don't drink. Great fun...!
Anyway, I'll see what happends.
Go up to this girl, tell her how you feel, just do it tommorow..
Think about it this way, god forbid she went out and died on saturday and you never got the chance to tell her how you felt...it will haunt you the rest of your life, just go and do it the next time you see her alone.
Just say how you feel and then ask her out for a drink alone.
Plus, I don't really want to get heavy and start saying 'I fancy you' nececcarily, more along the lines of 'OK, we have to stay in touch, because I'm going to miss you, you know.' I may try and say something like that before I leave at the end of next week.
You say that you fancy her more than being "just friends" and that you are "mates" with a guy who lives with her ... but you don't know if she has a boyfriend OR whether she is going out with the guy she lives with? Just exactly how well do you know her (or him)?
The reality is that you fancy her without REALLY knowing her (that's ok - that's what love-at-first-sight is often all about) but there is the possibility that she is a mean-spirited bitch that bites the heads off babies - or not. But you really do need to get to know her better before going in for the plunge. I would ask her straight out but then I'm not as shy as you.
I think that perhaps you should get to know her (and him) a bit better first. If you don't even KNOW whether she is in a relationship then you are going to run the risk of getting egg on your face.
If you fail to determine her "availability" at your leaving party (if they are an item, I'm sure they'll hold hands or whatever quite openly in front of you), arrange to go clubbing or go to the movies with them as soon as you possibly can. Get "their" phone number rather just hers.
If at your leaving party, you determine that she is single, still get "their" home phone number but after a few days, pluck up the courage to phone her and ask her if she fancies going to e.g. the movies. Try and make it sound as if it's more of a "mates" thing rather than a "date" thing - maybe say you are at a loose end this week. Don't say you are free on a "particular" day because she may be busy on the day you choose. Let her choose the free day for herself. If she says yes, at least you know that she likes you as a person which is a good place to start.
Good luck!
Now why didn't I think of that ... ???? Much easier ... although a little impersonal and hardly romantic. But it may suit you.
I also wrote a message on the paper with my address etc which included.
"Well, I love you loads and I'll be in touch soon. And then there's Christmas, which means mistletoe - so watch out"!
So, I have her contact details and its time for stage 2. Whatever that is!
At least you've got it done, although what was her reaction?
And, now I have her address, I can send her a Christmas card, and maybe a Valentines in February.