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Boyfriend vs. His best friend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Yeah, I'm a bitch!
Story is- my boyfried and ive been going out 5-6 months now and its been a pretty rocky kind of a relationship- basically cause I keep messing it up. Well now we've just got bakc together after a very brief breakup and it's been going very well until I agreed to go and stay at his best friends' house with him overnight.
We all got drunk in true teenage fashion and my bf ended up going to sleep upstairs and leaving me and the friend downstairs.
For about a year me and said friend have been quite close, we talk all the time and have always flirted and Ive always been very attracted to him. And basically due to the left aloneness and the drunkness we ended up kissing etc. I didnt let it go as far as he wished as i had the dawn of 'GAH NOOOOO' relisation and left the room but it isnt good. Since then I havent been able to stop thinking about him and he's come out and admitted he's in love with me.
Things are finally going well with my borfriend again but I have really strong feelings for his friend and who isnt making it easier saying 'it isnt fair, I want you'.
Thoughts? Opinions? Similar experiences?
All appriciated.
xxxx
Story is- my boyfried and ive been going out 5-6 months now and its been a pretty rocky kind of a relationship- basically cause I keep messing it up. Well now we've just got bakc together after a very brief breakup and it's been going very well until I agreed to go and stay at his best friends' house with him overnight.
We all got drunk in true teenage fashion and my bf ended up going to sleep upstairs and leaving me and the friend downstairs.
For about a year me and said friend have been quite close, we talk all the time and have always flirted and Ive always been very attracted to him. And basically due to the left aloneness and the drunkness we ended up kissing etc. I didnt let it go as far as he wished as i had the dawn of 'GAH NOOOOO' relisation and left the room but it isnt good. Since then I havent been able to stop thinking about him and he's come out and admitted he's in love with me.
Things are finally going well with my borfriend again but I have really strong feelings for his friend and who isnt making it easier saying 'it isnt fair, I want you'.
Thoughts? Opinions? Similar experiences?
All appriciated.
xxxx
0
Comments
A large part of the attraction that you have for the best mate will be because he is 'out-of-bounds'. You need to think about how much you truly like him.
You must understand that if you do get with the best mate you will be TOTALLY fucking over your boyfriend. Male jealousy is incredibly strong and crushing - your bf would be in real mental anguish.
Furthermore the friendship between your bf and his best mate is incredibly unlikely to continue.
I'd take his statement of love with a pinch of salt - love and lust are often confused.
The shit hit the fan big style. They are no longer friends, they don't talk at all. He (my ex) lost a girlfriend that he 'claimed' to love and his best mate of 10 yrs. same applies for the mate. He lost his best mate and girlfriend.
OK i know its a bit complex i know but the end result was 2 very broken hearts, 1 destroyed friendship, 2 destroyed relationships....oh and 1 new relationship that lasted all of 3 weeks coz she was 16 and the novelty ran out.
Now the best mate and i are boyfriend and girlfriend. Have been 4 a fair while. Ex boyfriend is green with envy and realising exactly what he has lost........... Moral of the story, stay clear of relationships with boyfriends mates
If you actually managed to follow any of that then you probably deserve a medal coz i had to keep reading it back to get it right,....and its my life!!!!
but yeah, this has been done to me also by my ex so i have to say ditto on what everyone else has said so far. There's this whole attractiveness of 'untouched soil' which always looks much better compared to the stuff you're used to, but there are deep roots in that stuff. roots which will take a long time to build up with someone else, if at all.
if you're finally getting on the right track with your current boyfriend, stick with it unless it actually makes you unhappy
If you have a spare minute maybe you could explain my life to me coz i'm totally lost. hehehe:D
another case solved
Maybe you shoukd become an agony aunt for the Sun or something!!:D
Well, I NEARLY was in that position. It was a at a party at my girlfriend's house. She had gotten totally wasted and had gone to bed, and I was so far gone that I ended up flirting with her best mate. :crazyeyes
TONS of embrasement, but we worked it out.
A few months later we were coming home from a club, we were all drunk and holding hands. This gave me the oppertunity to compare holding hands with my girlfriend, and with her mate. Once I did that, I spotted the "novelty" factor, and it wore off immediately.
So my advice:
Girls: Forget your boyfriend's best mate, he's not worth it.
Boys: Never let a woman come between you and your friends.
Guys: Don't forget that if you are climbing over that barbed wire fence to the bed of your mate's girlfriend, the potential damage to your genitals could be horrific. :eek:
Have spoken to best-friend-guy in response to yet another 'i love you' email and said that basically it isn't worth what we'd loose and he's agreed and we're steering clear of each other for a while. It feels sad and sucky but it seems like the right thing to do.
You're probably right and it's a case of grass in greener syndrome so I should just forget it. And if there are problems with my relationship I shouldn't just avoid it by err...focusing attention on someone else(??)
Thankyou ! xxxxx:)