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Dating people With Kids
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Do you get put off dating someone if you know they already have kids?
Anyone have experience of being in said situation? f so how'd it work out?
Anyone have experience of being in said situation? f so how'd it work out?
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depends. sometimes im looking for a proper relationship - in that case id see them for the person they are and wouldn't mind about the kid. (probably a baby in my case since im 16) and as long as she didnt expect me to be the long time father (like forcing me to make a commitment) then it would be good and we could see where it went.
But if I was looking for a bit of fun then it would put me off because there's too much 'baggage' attatched if you know what i mean - i'd want no ties no hassle fun
although I've only gone for the 2nd sort once and that was with my ex's best mate. Heh. Was fun nonetheless
So my answer is as always the confusing one: depends
Now, she's an amazing girl i think she's fab! and thanx to a guy when she was 15 who messed with her, she had her little lad.
Now she's had 1 or 2 bfs in the past, but lads ive talked to all run a mile- why?
Its not like she's going to want to marrie you and ask you if the child can call you dad is it?
.... hmmmmm...
I think my problem with things like that is i don't see it as fair on the kids at the end of the day. My mate was dating a bloke for about 6 months and he wanted her to take a really active interest in the kids and when they broke up the kids were gutted. They'd seen their mum and dad split up, got attached to his new girlfriend and then seen them split up. They were tres confused as they were only young.
If i was looking for a serious relationship with the person then it wouldn't put me off, but as i'm not then i don't think it's fair. But it doesn't put me off someone just because they have kids, just makes me more cautious.
Maybe it's just selfishness. Not having to share a girlfriend, and her time, with somebody else. Especially a kid/kids that would be there most of the time, getting in the way, interupting, not allowing me and her the freedom to do what we want when we want. Always having to think of the kids. Planning most things around the kids. Your life could be dictated by them and their needs. I don't want that. At least not yet.
There there's the fact that they're not your kids. They're somebody elses kids. They're not a part of you, or from you. I don't really fancy bringing up somebody elses kids.
Mr_Wobble