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Groom to Be
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
I just got back from clubbing and decided to check my emails, anyway got this in my email from God know who!! but thtought it was amusing:
Dear Deirdre,
>
>I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next
>month. My
>fiancée's mother is not only very attractive but really great
>and
>understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and
>invited me to
>her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a
>bit beyond
>what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we
>reviewed the list
>and trimmed it down to just under a hundred... then she floored
>me. She said
>that in a month I would be a married man and that before that
>happened, she
>wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to
>her bedroom
>and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I
>wanted to
>leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided
>that I knew
>exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out
>the front
>door... There, leaning against my car was her husband, my
>father-in-law to
>be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure
>I was a
>good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand
>and he
>congratulated me on passing their little test. Deirdre,
>should I tell my fiancée what her parents did, and that I thought
>their
>"little test" was insulting to my character? Or should I keep the
>whole
>thing to myself, including the fact that the reason I was walking
>out to my
>car was to get a condom?
Dear Deirdre,
>
>I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next
>month. My
>fiancée's mother is not only very attractive but really great
>and
>understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and
>invited me to
>her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a
>bit beyond
>what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we
>reviewed the list
>and trimmed it down to just under a hundred... then she floored
>me. She said
>that in a month I would be a married man and that before that
>happened, she
>wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to
>her bedroom
>and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I
>wanted to
>leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided
>that I knew
>exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out
>the front
>door... There, leaning against my car was her husband, my
>father-in-law to
>be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure
>I was a
>good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand
>and he
>congratulated me on passing their little test. Deirdre,
>should I tell my fiancée what her parents did, and that I thought
>their
>"little test" was insulting to my character? Or should I keep the
>whole
>thing to myself, including the fact that the reason I was walking
>out to my
>car was to get a condom?
0
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The Buffalo Theory
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few drinks.