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When...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
...you have a problem or are worrying about something within your relationship, regardless of whether you think it's serious or trival, what do you do? Do you instantly confront it in order to (hopefully) immediately resolve it? Or do you keep it to yourself hoping that it goes away? I do the former because I like to discuss it and to quickly resolve it.
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It's not a question of paranoia; it's a question of whether you want it ended sooner rather than later and whether you want to end any heartache or similar problems that resulted from it.
A) how much does this problem really bother me? ie. could I live with it, and is it outweighed by all the good bits of the relationship?
and
Last time I was really unhappy about something in my relationship I told my boyfriend what was upsetting me, and we talked it through and sorted it out. There are some little things he does that still bother me but I've come to accept that that's just the way he is, and I've got to accept that he won't change, so I've either got to put up with it or dump him. And I'm happy to put up with it, because the answer to question A above is yes, it's outweighed by far by the good bits of the relationship.
Yeah, fair enough if it's relatively unimportant. If, however, it's on your mind a lot and you think that it's important, surely the best thing to do - as you and I and many others do - is to discuss it? It always works for me!
I was just saying that if it's just something small and you can put up with it, then considering no relationship is perfect I think it's better to grin and bear it. If you talked about every little thing you didn't like, it would get boring.
If my boyfriend didn't call me when I was expecting him to, I'd just think 'oh well, it happens - people forget, etc' - but if it were happening on a regular basis, I'd bring it up with him and try to sort it out.
i agree with perfect day, it would also depend on how much it bothered me, but as i say i can get paraniod and i tend to think alot, so even the smallest things can get to me
So we all agree that, if deemed to be sufficiently serious or if it is often on your mind, it's best to chat about it with your partner in order to hopefully immediately resolve it.
i just want him to listen to me without calling me immature/psycho or stupid.