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After 20 months, I'm near breaking point!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I've been with my current gf for 20 months this Friday. What's more important?
Sticking with her, not allowed a social like and missing out and being unhappy. As well as her being moody 90% of the time, unreasonable, demanding, always borrowing money from me, doesn't have much to talk about!
She's slowly paying back the money. She always wants me to drive her around, even if it's to get to the gym 480 metres away!!! Or even for a drive around the town, wasting petrol and running up the mileage. She's a tip around the flat and a law unto herself when it comes to losing things and wasting her money. She doesn't even make an effort for me, in terms of looking nicem etc. She usually comes out with "I want it this way, and it's not for you" type thing.
There's no passion, any joy or happiness, I don't even fancy her anymore. She drives me up the wall, and distracts me from my assignments. I could go on, but I'd probably run out of space. If there's a limit. Oh yeah, sex is once a month, if I'm lucky.
The good things... *mind goes blank*
Or is this more important?
Being free of her daily moodyness, stress, you get the picture. Also, having my own life with my friends, being able to actually have female friends, which I am currently not able to even text, email or look at, (not that she knows about the emails). I want to meet other girls in clubs, not for sex or anything just yet, but just to be able to associate with females in general. In those months, I have been on no more than 3 or 4 nights out with my friends with her not being with me.

Thanks for putting up with me. I don't know how I have put up with her for all this time!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, I doubt whether we're getting the whole story here, such as why she's always so moody, miserable, messy, etc. But from what you've posted it's time to bail out of that relationship, and kick her out. It sounds like you're totally miserable.
    I suppose you've already talked to her about it? And if she's unwilling to change then she has to go.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in a situation like this your own personally happiness is most important and its obvious that you're not happy.
    id get out as soon as i can if i was you, just think about yourself for a while and make yourself happy.

    good luck :wave:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: After 20 months, I'm near breaking point!
    Originally posted by -=Shacques©=-
    I've been with my current gf for 20 months this Friday. What's more important?
    Sticking with her, not allowed a social like and missing out and being unhappy. As well as her being moody 90% of the time, unreasonable, demanding, always borrowing money from me, doesn't have much to talk about!
    She's slowly paying back the money. She always wants me to drive her around, even if it's to get to the gym 480 metres away!!! Or even for a drive around the town, wasting petrol and running up the mileage. She's a tip around the flat and a law unto herself when it comes to losing things and wasting her money. She doesn't even make an effort for me, in terms of looking nicem etc. She usually comes out with "I want it this way, and it's not for you" type thing.
    There's no passion, any joy or happiness, I don't even fancy her anymore. She drives me up the wall, and distracts me from my assignments. I could go on, but I'd probably run out of space. If there's a limit. Oh yeah, sex is once a month, if I'm lucky.
    The good things... *mind goes blank*
    Or is this more important?
    Being free of her daily moodyness, stress, you get the picture. Also, having my own life with my friends, being able to actually have female friends, which I am currently not able to even text, email or look at, (not that she knows about the emails). I want to meet other girls in clubs, not for sex or anything just yet, but just to be able to associate with females in general. In those months, I have been on no more than 3 or 4 nights out with my friends with her not being with me.

    Thanks for putting up with me. I don't know how I have put up with her for all this time!

    ONE THING...YOU ARE ALLOWED A SOCIAL LIFE. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SAY NO.

    IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE YOU'D BE BETTER OFF DUMPING HER BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU SHARE A FLAT so it may be difficult? On the other hand, catch my boyfriend at a bad time and I'm sure most of the things you mention (Bar the lack of freedom for a social life) piss him off about me too (Specially the untidyness).

    If you are not able to just leave (or ask her to) I suggest that you arrange a night out with your friends, either tell your girlfriend that you are going out with some mates and don't let her invite herself along, or arrange to meet them somewhere after work/college but don't tell her where.

    If you were the one stoppng her from doing stuff she wanted to you would be getting loads of grief, so why should she do it to you.

    You need to be strong...if you do want to split then start making plans now to make the split less difficult (ie Save, look for places to go etc)

    good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and my gf currently share a flat. She always talks about how she misses her family, etc. We're both from the same area.
    The only thing keeping her here is me, really.
    I'd easily find another student to move in after her.
    She's not studying at the moment. Just a year out to work.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So would she be prepared to leave if you asked her or would she kick up a fuss?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont let her rule your life, take a stand for yourself and do whatever you want for a change and dont let anyone stop you, I reckon you owe it to yourself!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I decided a few days ago she has to go, no two ways about it. Since I posted my original post, she constantly reminds me why I am so unhappy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wrote a quote here but supposed to go somewhere else!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hun, i don't know if you said this is any of your posts, i kinda skim read...:p but have youy tried telling your gf all of these problems?? telling her that you are not happy?? maybe after 20 months or whatever it is, you two have just grown apart...it happens, trust me...and it's hard to know what to do. you gotta sit her down and sort it between the two of you. there's no point in being in a relationship that is not making you happy, you'll just regret it... good luck honey xxx :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Been in that kind of relationship jsut end it ASAP. You'll only end up in a state.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you know what to do. I reckon once you've finished it you'll wonder why you stayed with her so long. Enjoy your uni years, they're the best of your life!
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