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how to come?!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok, i have a question now. when my boyfriend and i have sex, he always comes, but i dont feel turned on in the least by the action of having sex and i cant even begin to work out how to!!! i'm not particularly experienced sex-wise, as i only lost my virginity a couple of months ago, but i would really like to know, is it possible for girls to come just through penetration? i asked one of my friends this question and she seemed to think the answer was no - she said her boyfriend had to stimulate her with his fingers at the same time and that was the only way she would come. any help on this matter would be greatly appreciated!!!
thanks! :eek2:
thanks! :eek2: 0
Comments
Forplay! and relax a bit.
As for you reaching orgasm through penetration, well your not going to orgasm anyway if your not turned on. Some women do find it hard to come through sex, especialy if their bloke doesnt last that long, or isnt the right size/shape. The more often you have sex the more likely you are to come, as the more frequently you do the easier it is.
I'd say your best option is to see what you like by yourself and then try and get your boyfriend to do it, spend longer getting to sex and there is a better chance that you'll enjoy it and come.
If your not enjoying your sexual experiance its your responsibilty to do something about it. I wouldnt come right out and tell your boyfriend that he doesnt turn you on, that might break his spirit a little, just tell him you want to try a few new things, he'll like that.
A lot of women find it difficult to come through penetration alone. You should DEFINETLY take it slower, and perhaps not even have penetrative sex every time.
If you dont know what you like, you might want to check out http://www.thesite.org/magazine/specials_pulling/on_the_pull/firsttime_sex.html which is about sex with a new partner for the first time.
Also, check out the following links:
http://www.thesite.org/magazine/sex_and_relationships/female_masturbation.html - female masturbation
http://www.thesite.org/magazine/sex_and_relationships/the_female_orgasm.html - about the female orgasm
You may also want to take a look at www.the-clitoris.com
Hope this helps.
You need to explore your body like bongbudda said. Once you find out how you like to be touched then you need to relay this to your bf in a simple yet clear manner
When you gain some confidence in the bedroom (or get too frustrated:p ) you should be able to talk to your bf and suggest to him that he watch you finger your self and let him copy you later.
Using his tongue if he likes and perhaps toys later on in your sex life to spice it up
Just out of interest, do you get turned on by thinking about sex, or watching porn. Does the thought of a nice big hard cock entering your pussy not give you some sort of buzz?
Do you not “cum” when you masturbate?
ooooooh yes please
i am starting to feel quite horny now, thanks Harmless.....i may have to accost the computer guy again :rolleyes:
And do you count the leaves when they fall and can you hear anything at all?
HARLMESSSS - u gotta change that sig damit, keep getting that tune in my head and I havnt got a copy of it!
Um, yea, what I meant to say, is maybe download some porn from the net and see if that does anything for you. It may be just that you arent ready for sex.
"Relax, don't do it, when you want to get to it, relax, don't do it, when you want to cum"
How about not having sex for a while, so you and your boyfriend can talk things through and not feel rushed? Sounds like you both need to educate yourselves about sex, sexual response, and so on.
Not sure how old you are, but you may simply not be ready for sex yet. Also, maybe this isn't your perfect partner if he neglects your needs. If neither of you are mature enough to talk about it, perhaps neither of you are ready for sex - you have to be able to take responsibility for talking about things like contraception and STIs too.
Important things to remember:
1. It's supposed to be good for both of you
2. Having sex with your boyfriend isn't a duty and it won't make someone like or love you.
3. Go at your own pace - respect yourself.
Karla
x
hehehe Just Jack, Buy it.
I’m still a Secret Lemonade drinker:p
LMAO!!!
thats made my day that has thank you!!! *runs up to dave ,bow's , and runs away again*
You do have to be turned on.
i didnt initially, but after a while I started to.I think its a case of becoming more familiar and knowing bodies better sometimes.
Good luck hun!:)
to answer your question, Harmless, yes i do get turned on by all those things, but being turned on doesn't seem to be the problem - foreplay and all that is fine, i just wasn't sure if it was our getting something wrong that means i dont come just from penetrative sex!!! anyway, just a quick thankyou to everyone... :cool: