shes preg..what can i say?

Former Member · March 2003

Hiya, well as u all know i have an 11week old daughter yeh so ur all gona think ok whys she posting this buttt....
My best mate iz preg by her bf of 2yrz, im happy for her, but shes not happy, shes 6month preg, and she doesnt want the baby, but she's saying she cant give it up for adoption!! im really confused, what should i say to her? ive sed its ur choice, but she says to me, i dont want this stupid baby, but i cant give it up! ahh confusing, do u think she should see some one about it?
Thanx.
lotsa love Faye&Tegan xxxx

Former Member · March 2003

she might feel differently once the babys born, or it might take her a while to bond with it. it sounds to me like she is going to need a lot of support, but she also needs to face facts and get to grips with the situation. Its not the babys fault and you should tell her she cant blame the baby - thats the innocent victim here, maybe she could get the baby fostered out for a while if she doesnt want it adopted straigth away and then shes got time to think about it once its born, she may then find that she cant live without her baby, or she might decide that adoption is for the best. she really needs to talk to a social worker. How old is she by the way?

Former Member · March 2003

shes just turned 16.

Former Member · March 2003

A baby doesn't ruin your life it just changes it!
Sit down with her and tell her your version of whats its like-

Former Member · March 2003

Originally posted by Docter Lurve
A baby doesn't ruin your life it just changes it!
Sit down with her and tell her your version of whats its like-

Ive tried that, but shes just sits there and goes i dont want it i dont want it, and ive sed well i never exactly planned Tegan did i? but ive got her and i cope ok, and all she sez it i dont want it i dont want it! shes like a broken record! so anoying, but then she sez she cant give it up!!! :banghead:

Former Member · March 2003

she will most probably change her mmind when she sees the baby? how far gone was she when she found out that she was pregnant???

Former Member · March 2003

why didnt she have an abortion?

Former Member · March 2003

She should probably talk to someone about it, but she most likely won't because she is so confused.

Just be there for her, I think the most important developments will occur when she has the baby.

Former Member · March 2003

she found out a week ago, i think theres something wrong with the babys growth because if u look at her she iz TINY! looks like shes just put on a bit of weight.

Former Member · March 2003

i think that perhaps she's quite scared bout the whole thing, even if she wouldn't admit to it-it is after all a big thing at any time of your life to have a baby, let alone at 16...hell i'm 16 and i can't imagine being pregnant. There's so much stuff that'll be going through her head maybe she's not really sure what the answer to anything is or will be at the moment. Mek sure that she feels there's loads of support there for her whatever she decides. My opinion would be slightly skewed from this point onwards in what i say but if she really doesn't want the baby then for goodness sake don't have it. Take or leave what i say but a baby is a BIG mistake to make and it will have an affect on the child for the rest of it's life if it feels unwanted or a misake. Nothing can take away the hurt of not having a mum/mother figure in your life. On the other hand of course is how the mum feels ie your friend....she needs to work out just how much she doesnt want the baby cause it's whats best for her and not everyone around her-its her living with the consequences later.
The Silly String (not being quite so silly for a change)

Former Member · March 2003

I don't think that there is much that you can do except be there for her if she wants to talk, and you already sound like you're doing that really well.

Former Member · March 2003

as I said earlier, remind her theres always the option of having the baby fostered by another family for a while. That way she still retains the option of getting her baby back when shes got her head together a bit more. I know a fostermum and shes brilliant, she takes her fosterchildren to the same toddler group as me, it would just be like her giving her baby to a loving family temporarily while she has time to get her head round it. If she hates her baby and yet wont give it up, then shes not doing the right thing by herself or by the baby. I think she could do with some counselling.

Former Member · March 2003

Give her the hard line!
Tell her to quit her moaning and live with it now!
Tell her how you survive- and how it brightens up your world.
And your pissed of about her whinging as it gets you down- and is she cant grow up outta being a baby she shouldn't of being fucking in the first place!

Former Member · March 2003

Originally posted by Docter Lurve
Give her the hard line!
Tell her to quit her moaning and live with it now!
Tell her how you survive- and how it brightens up your world.
And your pissed of about her whinging as it gets you down- and is she cant grow up outta being a baby she shouldn't of being fucking in the first place!

That`s a bit rough. I can see your point, but after all this girl is only just 16 and well, shit happens. It`s a headfuck believe me. Too late to debate whether she should have been having sex or not.

Faye... this sounds like something that only time will really sort out for her.. I don`t see what you can do apart from just be there and listen.

shes preg..what can i say?

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