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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road ~~ ?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken
crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
GEORGE W. BUSH: Any chicken that crosses the road is a
danger to this country. I ask Congress to give me
unlimited authority to deal with this problem.
SADDAM HUSSEIN :This was an unprovoked act of
rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50
tons of nerve gas on it.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented
the application of these two different functions of
government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
PAT BUCHANAN: The chicken crossed the road to steal a
job from a decent, hard-working Americans.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original
side of the road had been polluted by unchecked
industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road
because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling
SUV.
BILL CLINTON: It depends on what your definition of
chicken is. I did not cross the road with THAT
chicken. Could you define chicken please? I did not
have sex on that road.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed
the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government
grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
there is already forming a support group to help
chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you
believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about
your money, money the government took from you to
build roads for chickens to cross.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for
the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
overcame a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it
obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front
of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it - the other side. Yes,
my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the
road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads and be judged by
the content of their characters.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did,
but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own
eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you
believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned
that the chicken crossed the road reveals your
underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your checkbook -
and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
eChicken .
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He
said unto the chicken, Thou shalt cross the road. "And
the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing."
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
******************************
Yes, this is political...and we need it right now with the asylumn issue at hand and under challenge!
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken
crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
GEORGE W. BUSH: Any chicken that crosses the road is a
danger to this country. I ask Congress to give me
unlimited authority to deal with this problem.
SADDAM HUSSEIN :This was an unprovoked act of
rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50
tons of nerve gas on it.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented
the application of these two different functions of
government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
PAT BUCHANAN: The chicken crossed the road to steal a
job from a decent, hard-working Americans.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original
side of the road had been polluted by unchecked
industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road
because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling
SUV.
BILL CLINTON: It depends on what your definition of
chicken is. I did not cross the road with THAT
chicken. Could you define chicken please? I did not
have sex on that road.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed
the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government
grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
there is already forming a support group to help
chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you
believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about
your money, money the government took from you to
build roads for chickens to cross.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for
the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
overcame a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it
obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front
of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it - the other side. Yes,
my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the
road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads and be judged by
the content of their characters.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did,
but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own
eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you
believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned
that the chicken crossed the road reveals your
underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your checkbook -
and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
eChicken .
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He
said unto the chicken, Thou shalt cross the road. "And
the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing."
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
******************************
Yes, this is political...and we need it right now with the asylumn issue at hand and under challenge!
0
Comments
The thin rail between good and evil. Doing evil feels good and is easy. Doing the right thing is hard and sometimes hurts public opinion.
I can't argue with that reply. Made me laugh. Maybe we don't agree on many issues but that was funny!
ROTFLMAO...~~