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My ex (who I still miss) is engaged...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Now, I need some suggestion other than "Get over it". I've been trying that for the past 3 years (when we broke up).

Some of you might know the story and stuff, so I'm not going to repeat it. I just feel that you guys might be able to help since you know what's been going on with me.

Some people say that after a break up, you'll try hard to be the best that you can be, and try to get her back that way. For me, I was hoping that time can give time to improve myself, but hell, she's now engaged.

Help please...

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: My ex (who I still miss) is engaged...
    Originally posted by Chatbox
    Now, I need some suggestion other than "Get over it". I've been trying that for the past 3 years (when we broke up).


    Oh my god reading that has nearly given me a panic attack. After a year without my ex I still miss him, and I keep thinking, 'just a little while longer and i'll be totally over him.' That sentance above has freaked me out. :(

    My ex has met someone new too, and it does hurt - but I think you have to start thinking about you, and not her.

    Hhmmm, *gets coat :cool:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's exactly the same with me. Engaged and with a kid on the way she is :(

    Oh well....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is that all I replies I get? Please, something that's more practical and useful maybe?

    When I think of myself, I see myself being with her...that's the problem. Basically, I don't really want to be with anyone else (and I think 3 years being single had proven my point. No one else interests me anymore.)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just try and force yourself to see other people. it will get easier. She's never been through the hurt of seeing you wth other people because you haven't been. You never know what old feelings it migth stir up in ehr if she found out you were seeing someone.

    i know it's a bitchy thing to do and you probably won't have any feelings for the first few girls you date but over time you'll start finding that you can feel things for others.

    I do feel for you, it's a horrid situation to be in, but you've got to get your life back on track. You can't go round hoping that she'll split up with him and come running back to you or whatever, the probability is that she won't. You've got to re-build your life, stop thinking about her and move on.

    Sorry I know it isn't what you want to hear.

    *huggles*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: My ex (who I still miss) is engaged...
    Originally posted by Chatbox

    For me, I was hoping that time can give time to improve myself, but hell, she's now engaged.

    Does that above statement mean that you thought over time you could improve yourself and hopefully after a while she might come back to you? If so stop. Because you shouldn't have to improve yourself to get someone back. There's a valid reason behind every break up and usually break ups are for good. I know i'm probably being harsh but you really do have to start putting it behind you. You say you haven't been able to let it go and that no one interests you, i'd guess the reason no one interests you is because you automatically don't give them a chance as you're still interested in your ex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: My ex (who I still miss) is engaged...

    Carolina basically said what I was trying to say in a more clear way as well....sorry mate but you do have to pull yourself together and get back out there and give others a chance.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you really cared for her you wouldnt feel bad for her happiness, but thats harder in practice. i know you dont want to here this shit but the best advice we can give is to find a new partner and try to love again, it'll get easier and after time you can start to look forward to a future together just liek your ex.....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: My ex (who I still miss) is engaged...
    Originally posted by Kazbo
    Carolina basically said what I was trying to say in a more clear way as well

    Which backs up the fact that Kazbo is far more subtle and tactful than myself :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: Re: My ex (who I still miss) is engaged...
    Originally posted by Carolina


    Which backs up the fact that Kazbo is far more subtle and tactful than myself :D

    LOL thats the first time anyones called me that. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *grins* bloody hell you're not another blunt straightforward person are you ? ;)

    Sorry round where i am you don't get many people like me, being a village most people bullshit and gossip instead of come straight out with things.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Chatbox
    Is that all I replies I get? Please, something that's more practical and useful maybe?

    When I think of myself, I see myself being with her...that's the problem. Basically, I don't really want to be with anyone else (and I think 3 years being single had proven my point. No one else interests me anymore.)


    Andy??? :eek2:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey man, i know it is tough. you just have to take care of yourself. not quite in the same boat, but my ex of about a month started dating another guy after 3 weeks. at first i was upset. then i figured that if she wanted to be with me that she would be, but she isn't. if this guy makes her happy then isn't that all that maters? if you love her enough then let her go man.

    things don't always go the way we want. just because you miss her doesn't mean you have to stop living. she moved on buddy. she found someone that she could love. do you really want to be unhappy about that? i mean i know it would be great if it was you, but if it can't be you and this guy treats her right then be happy.

    i know none of this is what you want to hear. i didn't want to hear it when my girl left. it still hurts, might always. you just have to deal as best you can and keep living. not much else you can do because it isn't up to you.

    i hope that something here helps man. she found what she is looking for in life, try to do the same. best of luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't get me wrong, I haven't (in any of my statements above) stated that I'm not happy for her (well, nor did I say I am happy for her). The fact is, I am, happy for her that she found herself a person that she loves and plan on spending the rest of her life with that person. However, I am upset about the fact that this person isn't me.

    Of course I'm happy for her. She's a great person, and I believe she deserves someone better than me (which is why I've always tried to be a better me than the day before). It truely is wonderful that she's so in love and happy. I do wish her all the best for all the years to come.

    On the other hand though, all human are selfish to a certain degree. Which then explains why I wish it's me that can make her happy, but I can't, I'm feeling so useless and hopeless and lost...all over again.

    (I found out that she's engaged from FriendsReunited)

    (and no, this is not Andy.)

    (Also, thanks for the huggles. It reminds me of her. It was her who told me what a huggle was.)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Carolina
    *grins* bloody hell you're not another blunt straightforward person are you ? ;)

    Sorry round where i am you don't get many people like me, being a village most people bullshit and gossip instead of come straight out with things.


    :yes: sure am and I know exactly what you mean, people round here are like that to. :mad:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Chatbox

    Of course I'm happy for her. She's a great person, and I believe she deserves someone better than me (which is why I've always tried to be a better me than the day before). It truely is wonderful that she's so in love and happy. I do wish her all the best for all the years to come.



    Why don't you propose to her? :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Britney
    Why don't you propose to her? :confused:

    What part of "My ex (who I still miss) is engaged" do you not understand? What difference would it make now if he proposes if she is already engaged to someone else?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, we broke up 3 years ago, and since then, we rarely keep in contact (only once or twice a year). Therefore, we don't know each other anymore (people change through time). Plus, we didn't break up on good terms, and she thinks I'm a bit of a psycho back then (not sure if that has changed or not).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Scarlett


    What part of "My ex (who I still miss) is engaged" do you not understand? What difference would it make now if he proposes if she is already engaged to someone else?

    WEll why not? If he feels that strongly about her? Men have so little passion in life now.

    For all YOU know, this girl might have left original bloke cos he wouldn't commit or something and MAYBE all she ever wanted was to spend the rest of her life with him

    BESIDES, if you don't ASK you'll never know - will you???? :mad:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Um...passion...she calls that obsessive...

    And trust me, she doesn't want me. All she wants from me is to have no contact with her anymore.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by MsWhite



    Andy??? :eek2:
    :lol::lol::lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Chatbox
    Well, we broke up 3 years ago, and since then, we rarely keep in contact (only once or twice a year). Therefore, we don't know each other anymore (people change through time). Plus, we didn't break up on good terms, and she thinks I'm a bit of a psycho back then (not sure if that has changed or not).
    Like you say, you're different people now. How do you know you want to be with her?

    Why would she think you're a psycho??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ouch...kathryn is rather hot... :D a perfect size 10, like ice-skating, a chocoholic, doesn't smoke, doesn't do any drugs, *ah...I see sunshine....*. But damn...I'm 0.5 inch shorter, totally out of my league.

    Back to the topic.
    I have a past history of being suicidal....(that says it all really).
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