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Best way to break it off?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I want to end my current relationship but cant for fear of breaking my girlfriends heart completely.
I want to tell her face to face and be honest with her as opposed to telling her over the phone. But I know she will instantly break down in tears and even though I dont love her its a real gut- wrenching experience(ive tried it before but could'nt handle her crying). Whats the best way to tell her I want to end it?
We've being going out about 9 months and Ive never really loved her basically its going bit stale and 'I need some space. Any ideas what o do/say? Hepl me out here peoples :confused::confused:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Be honest and get it over and done with so she can get over you, dragging it out is the worst option if you don't want to be with her. It won't be easy, you'll feel like like shit but it has to be done.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im really dreading doing it!
    Especailly as I feel she deserves the respect to be told face to face- its already drawn out which is making it harder
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Definitely do it face to face. My ex said to me 'this isn't working'. Don't back down even if she's crying and shit. Don't get caught up in a long conversation about why. Say your piece, be nice and go.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks, I never thought of just saying it and going. Its hard to do though. Thats one of the few bad things about a relationship. the breaking up!:eek2:
    Your profile says your from birmingham- do you go to college there??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No- don't just walk straight out. Answer any questions as honestly as you can but don't get caught up in a big conversation about it.

    Yes I'm at uni here.

    Good luck mate hope it goes ok.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Text message, every time.

    Kidding, face to face is the best way, although by phone is also a good way unless you've been together a long time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell her as soon as you get there as well mate. Don't go being all nice to her for half the night and then springing it on her. i've had that done to me and it's horrid.

    Answer any questions after, show her yous till care a bit, and leave. Don't try keeping in touch, it will only cause more hurt and upset. But just tell her straight out, don't try covering it up in things. Yes she will cry and it will make you feel like shit but the longer itgoes on the worse it will get. Trust me ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when she starts crying, be sympathetic, and tell her you're sory but ts just the way you feel. If you want it to end make sure she knows its going to end so dont leave her wondering every minute of the day whether you just want a time out and are going to go back to her in a week. It will just means she gets hurt more in the long run. And you might feel upset to start with, but as soon as you have some space, youll feel a lot of pressure is gone, even tho youll still feel like crap. You must be honest and tell her why tho, no bs now. Nothing is at stake really, so tell her everything, but thats a bit of a contradiction to that advice about not a long conversation. I like to have healthy conversation so it can sink in. Its annoying cos ive been dumped loads and they just say they dont think its working and i want to know why but cant ask.. its like i lost my voice or sumet. then we say bye and my self confidence dwindles because i dont know what ive done wrong. Tell her its not her, just that you dont see the relationship going anywhere and theres something missing that you're confident you cant find. Hugging is allowed. Kissing is not. Sex, out of the question!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers everyone!
    Ill give it a go at the oportune moment- if it ever comes around!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mate- there won't be a right moment. Ever. Stop putting it off.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Whowhere
    Text message, every time.

    Kidding, face to face is the best way, although by phone is also a good way unless you've been together a long time.

    Ive had that done to me :( and it wasn't nice :no:
    especially when the guy didn't even have the guts to write the god damn message himself and had to get his mate to text me and say it :mad:

    So make sure you do say it face to face and as nicely as possible, you can't keep putting it off, it will just make it harder in the long run :) good luck mate.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Whowhere
    Text message, every time.

    Kidding, face to face is the best way, although by phone is also a good way unless you've been together a long time.

    NEVER EVER EVER do it by text. that happend to me and it still hurts that someone could be that heartless.

    Shame on you boo
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    be honest with her. when my ex dumped me i never really got a reason it was all cliches and excuses - its taking a while to get over it because i still dont understand why he dumped me!
    AND he took me out all night and everything and when he dropped me off at home he dumped me! i was so confused! why had he spent the whole night with me if he was going to dump me all along?? that really hurt. plus he had said we needed to talk the day before so i was half ready to be dumped and when he spent all night with me i started to relax and think everything was ok - oh how wrong i was!:( just..dont do that..if youre going to do it do it straight away.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have got to be firm, and just let her know its over. She obviously is going to be hurt, but eventually she will get over you and find someone else. You cant keep stringing someone along, but if you are going to do it then I suggest you do it very soon. It wont be long till Christmas and I think it would be a bit unfair to do it the week before christmas because then she would take it worse.

    Hope it goes ok for you :)
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