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Just saying NO

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
HI!

I've got an itty bitty problem right now.
Firstly, I'm seeing a guy who I have fancied for ages and we really get on and I love being with him etc...

Now, the only thing is, we have decided not to do the whole 'girlfriend/boyfriend' thing because we are scared things might turn weird and neither of us want to get hurt. The other night however, I was out drinking with him and a few other friends and this other lad who I know came up to me and put his arms round me. At which point, the lad who I'm seeing walked in and asked, 'What the fuck is going on?!' and nearly punched the other lad.
Nothing is going on with the other boy, but he keeps phoning and texting and asking to meet up. I keep saying no, but I am making the worst excuses ever! The strange thing is, we never really used to get on at all, we always used to slag each other off! I want to turn him down properly as I don't want to upset the other lad and ruin things with him because I really like him.
I'm having a party tomorrow, and the other lad has been saying that he wants to talk to me etc. But I just don't want to! I can't make the excuse that I have a boyfriend and I don't want to be mean and blunt by saying, 'I don't fancy you.' Lets just say this lad has a bit of a reputation with the girls.

How do you turn someone down without things turning nasty?

Thankyou!
Love
Kazooz
xxxxx

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Just saying NO
    Originally posted by Kazooz
    How do you turn someone down without things turning nasty?


    Well, if a guy can't take a subtle hint, then be more obvious. Just tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't want to go out with him... ever. Try not to embarress him, and be as gentle as possible, but also be very clear he has no chance.

    Edited to add, as a last resort, send him a text along the lines of:
    Would you please kindly piss off and never bother me again? Thanks!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so the lad ur seeing (not bf/gf) got jealous of another guy then. i think you should just tell the other lad straight it will be better in the long run! and it shouldnt turn out nasty, why should it? :confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should just tell him to piss of in no uncertain terms.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Or just knee him...well it works for me! :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell him to piss off.

    And if you think it's right with the first guy then you should be more specific about your relationship because his obvious jealousy suggests more than just a fling.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wish I had the same problem!:rolleyes: Why is my love life so boring????
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nothing is going on with the other boy, but he keeps phoning and texting and asking to meet up. I keep saying no, but I am making the worst excuses ever! The strange thing is, we never really used to get on at all, we always used to slag each other off! I want to turn him down properly as I don't want to upset the other lad and ruin things with him because I really like him.
    I'm having a party tomorrow, and the other lad has been saying that he wants to talk to me etc. But I just don't want to!

    Your going to have to be honest and tell him you aren't interested. Do it quietly rather than in front of others.
    I can't make the excuse that I have a boyfriend and I don't want to be mean and blunt by saying, 'I don't fancy you.' Lets just say this lad has a bit of a reputation with the girls.

    Whats his reputation got to do with anything? Or are you saying you do fancy him but feel more attraction to the boy you're seeing?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you have to be blunt. i was in a similar situation where a guy liked me and i just wasnt interested. he asked me out and i said no making up some "nice" but lame excuse. the only result was that he didnt get the message and still thinks he has a chance! he goes mad if im with another guy and doesnt talk to me for weeks! ive now made it clear that nothing will ever happen between us and he has to accept this, if he cant we can no longer be friends...i just wish id done it sooner! maybe he would have gotten over it by now! now theres just weirdness. he wont go anywhere i am and if he sees me he blanks me!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't want to be mean and blunt by saying, 'I don't fancy you.'

    Yes but the truth is the best way, then he knows how u definatly feel about him and knows where he stands. Plus if u make sum bullshit excuse it might backfire on u.

    This is so annoying when people do this, make sum crappy excuse without telling the truth. Just tell the truth but dont be too cold about it.
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