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'Do Not Resusciate' orders

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My mother has chosen this...if she has a heart attack or something similar, she doesn't even want to be taken to the hospital, much less cared for by doctors.

I believe people should have a right to hold DNR orders as well as assisted suicide, although I am very, very selfish when it comes to my mother. I have begged and pleaded with her several times to get her to change her mind.

If something ever does happen to my mother, it will be the hardest thing I ever have to do to follow her wishes and let her die knowing that doctors could possibly save her.

What are your opinions on DNR orders?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    that must be really hard, but at least its her choice. what i think is disgusting is when they put DNR orders on people and not tell them, ie elderly people. I saw a program on it once.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: 'Do Not Resusciate' orders
    Originally posted by Lizzafins

    If something ever does happen to my mother, it will be the hardest thing I ever have to do to follow her wishes and let her die knowing that doctors could possibly save her.


    Do you think you would be able to do it?, i know itselfish but i couldn't just leave my mother in a chair having a heart attack and not call an ambulance. Afterwards she may thank me, and be glad that she is still alive or she could hate me for it. Its a no win situtaion :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: 'Do Not Resusciate' orders
    Originally posted by Deeeeb
    Afterwards she may thank me, and be glad that she is still alive or she could hate me for it. Its a no win situtaion :(

    But if she has said that she does not want to be resuscitated and you ignored her wishes you'd think she'd be unhappy rather than glad. If I held a DNR order which someone ignored I don't think I'd be too happy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I still don't know if i could live with myself, even if i knew its what they wanted. Just to sit there and watch some one die when you know that all it takes to save them is a call to the emergancy services.
    But i suppose its thier life and you have to rspect thier wishes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd rather let them have their wish than call emergency services because I'd feel guilty. I'd be upset at having to do so but it's not my choice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it depends on their reason, whether they really would have no quality of life. I dont know if i could do that for my mum, what a pressure.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Forgive me, I'm not medically trained, but I believe that medical personnel take the Hippocratic oath, the first line of which is primum non nocere - first, do no harm.

    Therefore, are DNR orders not directly in contradiction to that oath?

    As for not calling the emergency services... that's harder to answer. If my Mum was sitting there, there is no way on earth I would not do everything in my power to save her. Her wishes would be overruled. Angry she may be, but she'd have to be alive to be angry. And that, I think, is how I'd rationalise it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by DJP
    Forgive me, I'm not medically trained, but I believe that medical personnel take the Hippocratic oath, the first line of which is primum non nocere - first, do no harm.

    Therefore, are DNR orders not directly in contradiction to that oath?

    The doctors aren't directly harming the patient in DNR cases, simply not treating them. In fact, it could be argued that they would be doing harm to the patient by directly contradicting their own explicit wishes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by DJP


    As for not calling the emergency services... that's harder to answer. If my Mum was sitting there, there is no way on earth I would not do everything in my power to save her. Her wishes would be overruled. Angry she may be, but she'd have to be alive to be angry. And that, I think, is how I'd rationalise it.

    Same goes for me...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just have an image of my mum begging me not to. I would never be able to go against her just to make myself feel better. It would hurt more than anything, I'm not saying it wouldn't but I know that I wouldn't go against what she wanted.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: 'Do Not Resusciate' orders
    Originally posted by Deeeeb


    I know it's selfish but I couldn't just leave my mother in a chair having a heart attack and not call an ambulance. Afterwards she may thank me, and be glad that she is still alive or she could hate me for it. Its a no win situtaion :(

    Exactly how I feel.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that a DNR instruction for a heart attack is a little extreme - unless the person has other underlying medical conditions - such as cancer.

    Personally I'd rather be dead than a vegetable, only able think but not communicate. In that instance I would want to institute a DNR instruction.

    As for doctors following the orders, unlike Donor Cards, "living wills" have a legal basis and the doctor could be sued for not following one. I would also dispute that they enforce them without the patients knowledge - in fact one of the questions asked when an elderly patients is admitted is related to their views on DNR...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Working in a nursing home, those were standard.

    Seeing people slowly loose their independance and self dignity.

    Then seeing it happen to my mother (cancer)

    I can understand why

    But again, some people have come back from the brink and made full recoveries.

    I know of one woman who considered a DNR order when she was younger (MS, prognosis not good), had a heart attack. 1 marriage, 1 kid, 20 years later she is rather glad of her second chance.

    Like all Judgement calls its a tricky one to call. Where does one draw the line.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not tricky at all. If someone has made that decision, and a DNR order is in place, then you don't resuscitate them. Simple.

    You could call the emergency services, but they should not do anything if there is a DNR order in place.

    What gives anyone else the right to decide what to do, when the person in question has already made that decision? To not respect their wishes is incredibly selfish.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It must be something slightly different in the states. If a friend/relation had a sudden heart attack, for example, then i'd do all i could. But having what i have, i've thought seriously about a living will for when i get worse. I don't want someone to have to make a choice over my life or death. Basically if i cant support my own vital functions, then let me go. I don't want to have to be hooked up to a machine to live.
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