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reasurance

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
hi, ok well ive had a long talk with my boyfriend last night and hes admitted stuff to me that i didnt know before, such as; im his first girlfriend(hes very ashamed at this), he got picked on a lot at school, he had very few friends, and various things about his past he was too embarrised to tell me. he thinks that this has changed my feelings for him, (it hasnt, im still in love with him) at the moment hes got the self confidence of a sponge and is very depressed. ive been trying to reassure him but to little success. I talked to his mom about it and all de does all day is mope about the house crying because he thinks im too good for him and i wouldnt be happy with him. could he have a form of depression? any ideas on how to build up his confidence?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This sounds EXACTLY like me and my boyfriend its just i was the one in need of reasurance. I can probably guess that it has been difficult for my boyfriend as it is for you. My boyfriend was great to me he said things like if i did not love you why am i still here? which is what i always think (is it because he is scared i wont get anyone else - which is rubbish as he can easily get anyone he wants) (Is it because i can be a little nasty when angry - when i asked him this question last night and many times before he said NO and that he loved me and i could never upset him unless i cheated on him)
    ( And i said is it because im not good enough for him - but he feels the same) Not many people can have a relationship like ours we are honest to each other and he supports me whenever i need it.

    He maybe suffering depression i was i still do get the odd occasional cry in now. All he needs is your support i saw a councellor which made me so much better. Not many knows that i saw a councellor for depression my boyfriend as he suggested it.

    All i do know is that his behaviour and insecrities are getting you down. try talking to him and try persuading him to see a councellor you could go with him for extra support. I hope it works out for you. It all did for us after a year of me getting worked up and worried he never left me which soon occured to me that he did really love me and want to be with me hense our relationship. I had no reason to worry.

    I really hope it does work out for you.
    If you do need a chat PM me and i will be willing to help or talk to you about anything you like :)

    Goodluck

    *DEVIL*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You should tell him he shouldn't be ashamed of not having a girlfriend before you. He should be going crazy that he has got you. I've just started going out with a friend I've known for a long time. I'm really happy about it, she is so gorgeous, we like and do the same things and she has a great personality. She's far too good for me but yet she likes me a lot too.

    You've got to show him that you are happy with him, make him feel special and wanted, plenty of hugs and kisses. Be alone together. Tell him your honoured to be his first gf.

    How long have you been going out with your bf?

    Hope this helps
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi, thanx for the replys. ive been going out with him for a year now.(today in fact!) and yesterday i made sure nobody ws home then went round. we talked from 12 midday till 3 am(when we both fell asleep) and i think weve got things sorted. he realises i couldnt give a damn about what other people think of him or what his past was like, hes all mine now!;) he also told me stuff hes neveer told anyone before, not even his family, which made me think he must love me, right? because when he said i was too good for him and i wasnt happy with him i thought it might be his way of trying to get out of the relationship. but i guess not :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Congrats, you sound like youve got a great boyfriend there, well done! :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ythanks.yeah hes the best:D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LickWid
    ythanks.yeah hes the best:D

    It sounds like you are a great girlfriend you have stuck with him a year and been there for him. I know that it helps a relationship and adds a lot of strength my boyfriend is the reasurring one and i am so grateful to him although he says he should be grateful to me as im the best girlfriend in the world and doesnt deserve me i( just hope he is not losing his confidence :D ) although others dont agree :rolleyes:

    But honestly i think you have been great to him :)

    Well done LickWid :)
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