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Animalloverb
Community Connector Posts: 808 Part of The Mix Family
Sorry that I haven't been around much this week, I have been rather busy with work, My son and his medical appointments, and I have been having a rough time with grief. I am so busy, my days are so full on and when my son is finally in bed I still have things to do and by that point I am so mentally exhausted that socialising isn't possible, and also with the way my grief has been I have decided to have space from here.
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Hi @Animalloverb , thank you for making this post. You've nothing to be sorry for - this space is yours to use as much as you wish, and we're really glad you could take some more space for yourself when that was what you're needing. It sounds like its been a really full-on week, particularly navigating grief on top of your son's medical appointments. What has grieving looked like for you recently? We're here with you to listen
@Sian321
I'm not so sure how to explain it, I am trying my best to sort out the room my partner used so then I can turn it into another space for my son, and that has been causing me a lot of feelings that are difficult to cope with.
Hey @Animalloverb it sounds like sorting out your partners old room has been bringing up some difficult emotions, which is completely understandable. I'm wondering if it might help to describe those emotions to us so that you can better understand them? No worries if you don't feel comfortable sharing that with us though.
@Callum
It's just a sad thing to do to be honest. It's like I am just getting rid of the last part of her, this room makes me feel I don't know, complete I guess but now emptying it out isn't just taking away the last part of her, but also taking away a part of myself. I know I really need to move on and just stop thinking about it so much.
Hi @Animalloverb,
That sounds like a really difficult thing to have to do, and you are really brave to not only recognise that but also share the way you are feeling with us. Moving on from a time in your life that was important to you is not an easy thing to do, so don't give yourself a hard time for finding this difficult. Hopefully turning this room into a space for your son will give it a new, positive meaning for you both. How are you feeling about it all today?
@Billie
Sorry, it's my son's final dose of Chemotherapy today so I am trying to keep him occupied.
I haven't really had chance to go in that room today yet, I am still feeling overwhelmed from going in that room the past few days. It will give a new positive meaning to the room, it will be nice for my son to have that place, the bedroom is only small, and all his toys are in the living room but my son also finds think a little overwhelming at times so I am hoping to eventually turn that room into like a calming sensory space, where he can also take some of his toys into if he wants some space. He Is currently only 2 but will be 3 soon.
No need to apologise at all, you have a lot going on and it is completely understandable that you are busy looking after your son. I hope that all goes smoothly for you today.
Feeling overwhelmed from having to spend time in the room over the past few days makes complete sense. Are you able to take your time with sorting through the room? As you have so much to deal with it may help lighten the load a bit to have breaks when you need them. It is really good to hear those plans for the room though, I'm sure your son will love having a calming sensory space, it is clear how much you care and think about his needs!
like the others have said, there's no need to apologise at all - especially give your situatuon. Use the boards and stuff as much or as little as you want to. it sounds like such a tough time for you, so sending you and your son so much love and support. We're all here for you ❤️
@sinead276
Yeah, to be fair I have spent the day today more chilled with my son. It's purple day so in my opinion it's a valid excuse.
I am so exhausted, I really thought things would get better.
@Animalloverb I’m really sorry you’re feeling this worn down and that it hasn’t gotten easier the way you hoped. You’re carrying a lot and the fact you keep going matters more than you probably give yourself credit for. I wish I could take some of it off your plate. Since I can’t, just know that you aren’t alone and that I’m here with you in it.
I might be around a little bit more this week, It was really rough last week so I wasn't around much. Life is busy, I'm incredibly stressed.
Hey @Animalloverb - it is always good to have you here, but there is no pressure to post at all when you are busy. It sounds like life has been really stressful for you lately. We are always here if you would like to, and have the time to, share more.
I'm just stressed about my life in general, there is a lot going on, a lot of anniversaries for people who have passed coming up. I also have work which isn't bad but there is a lot of tension at work at the moment because I have raised my concerns and it didn't go well. And then I'm a young parent myself, have nobody to go to and trying to navigate everything, I got given leave from work to deal with something and I am trying to find childcare for my son but I'm also nervous about it as his immune system still isn't the best so I will have to keep him off if there are illnesses going around which then means I would need time off work.
That sounds really tough @Animalloverb - it sounds like you have so much to think about and do at the moment. It must feel heavy to carry all of that.
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Anniversaries of people passing is bound to bring up so many emotions, it is completely understandable that that is adding to your stress. But please know it is normal for grief to be difficult to navigate and we are all here for you to support you through that.
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It sounds really stressful worrying about your son's health while knowing you need to find childcare, have you been able to talk to any childcare providers about your worries?
@Billie
I have spoken to some, there is one that is willing to phone me if there are illnesses doing its rounds so I can keep him off but I am just scared to send him, but also I know I need to because I need to work. It won't be till May when he turns 3, they said they will take him then. There is one that does till 3 but I can't travel to take him everyday. It's so stressful being a parent especially when my son's immune system isn't great from his treatment that he finished recently.
That is completely understandable. It must be a really difficult thing to carry. Being a parent can be stressful in any situation but combining that with your son having been ill and now having the worry about his immune system at childcare sounds really difficult.
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Have you ever heard of Wellchild? They are a charity who supports parents of children who are ill, but they have a community where parents can connect and get mutual support. No pressure of course, but it may be worth looking at when you have time. I know your son finished his treatment but there may be parents in a similar boat to you. I will link to their website here.
@Billie
I may have a look into it.
I am been struggling loads lately, last week was awful but this week hasn't been any better.
Hey @Animalloverb sorry to hear your week has felt like that, you're really strong for being able to come here and share with us. How has this morning felt?
This morning hasn't been great @Verity and the afternoon isn't going much better. I feel awful. I can't explain how I'm feeling.
It's okay that you can't put the feelings into words right now, is there anything you can do this afternoon that might make the rest of the evening feel a bit better? It could be as simple as ticking something off your to-do list or taking a nap, if you do feel that you are able to put your emotions into words at any point, we are here to listen.