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it's almost been a year and i'm doing worse
PunchThe_Internet
Posts: 34 Boards Initiate
i was told by my therapist that what i’m experiencing is psychosis. i don’t think it is, but if it is, i’ve been in it for almost a year. i think it’s a gift or something special about me. i think they’re souls that are always around us, but only i can perceive them. i often become overwhelmed and act in ways i normally wouldn’t. i’m a risk to myself and can’t be left alone.
my therapist said that it could be schizophrenia. i don’t know what to think about it. i’ve been wanting an answer and some validation for what I’m experiencing, but i don’t know how to feel about this. A diagnosis won’t change how I’m doing, but i thought it would give me some closure. it’s not 100%, i don’t think, but i guess i wasn’t expecting it and don’t really believe it. My family is concerned. My mum was very distressed. my family still loves me and will support me, but this wasn’t something they expected or saw in my future.
there’s not a lot to say.
Comments
Hey @PunchThe_Internet Thanks for sharing this with us tonight, we're all here for you. You mentioned what you're dealing with being souls that only you can perceive, would you be able to share some more about that with us so we can better understand your situation?
It sounds frustrating to be told by your therapist that this is psychosis, and then potentially schizophrenia, especially when you want an answer for validation, which is completely understandable to be able to get some closure. How does it make you feel being told it might be psychosis or schizophrenia?
You said that you are a risk to yourself, would you be able to share some more about that risk with us? Are you feeling safe at the moment? You are strong for opening up about this.
@Callum i think that they're souls stuck in purgatory. but they're what i refer to as corrupted. they look like things people are not meant to see. i think everyone can perceive them, but not everyone can in their full senses.
it's not that it doesn't give closure, but it creates more questions and possibilities. i think dont know what to think. the worst part is the stress it has been causing my mum. it doesn't change anything with how i'm doing. i guess i'm also in denial.
i just get overwhelmed by them and have the possibility of hurting myself. i'm fine at the moment.
@PunchThe_Internet It's interesting to hear more about these souls that you're experiencing. You say that they're purgatory & that you refer to them as corrupted, that sounds so intense to be dealing with. When you mentioned they look like things people aren't meant to see, do you feel comfortable describing that to us?
It makes total sense that it creates more questions and possibilities, in that you're not sure what to think and causing a lot of stress at home with your Mum. I'm wondering how she has been managing to support you through this?
Thanks for being honest about being overwhelmed and the possibility of hurting yourself. Did you harm yourself at all last night? And are those urges to hurt yourself still there today?