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Coming out
Willow
Posts: 14 Settling in
I just came out as AroAce to my Mother and ugh it was pretty shit. She basically said that "spciety is made for people to be couples" and "Your feelings haven't fully developed yet" and stuff and I was just sorta struck because that was the easy part for me to open up to her about. I've been thinking about opening up to her about being trans so I could maybe start getting medical help for it but now that she's said that I just want to keep safe and not be prejudiced against or anything, especially since she's laughed in my face many times about me wearing nail polish or wanting what she calls 'girly' things. Sorry for the rant but it just kills me inside a bit and the figures about trans people and stuff worry me so much and I wish people would actually accept and love me for being me, not for my masks. Thanks for reading. 🧡💛🤍🩵💙
Comments
Hey @Willow first of all I hope you are doing okay today and feeling a bit better in general. I'm sorry to hear the situation of coming out as AroAce to your mum was a difficult one to go through. Your feelings are absolutely valid and you have every right to identify however you feel fit, and you deserve that to be met with love and acceptance and support, and to be able to express yourself in a judgement-free environment. Just know that all of us support you and respect you just as you are, whatever that may look like to you. The right people will surround you soon enough, and they are going to give you so much love and support. Sending you lots of hugs ☺️
@Willow well done first of all for finding the courage to come out as AroAce to your Mum the other day. Although it wasn't the result you wanted, that takes an incredible amount of bravery and courage, you did so well to do that.
As @sinead276 mentioned, your feelings afterwards are valid and you deserve to feel loved, accepted and supported. It must be difficult when she stereotypes things as "girly", I imagine that makes it a lot harder to find the courage to tell her about you being trans.
It sounds like she hasn't been too supportive about this, and I'm hearing that you're worried about being prejudiced if you were to come out as trans to her. Would you be willing to share more about that fear? (No worries if you're not comfortable sharing more, that's absolutely fine)
It's just I really don't want to be made fun of and particularly told off about it because I just really struggle with being told off or anything especially when I don't think it's my fault. I'm also scared she'd force me to be more boyish and would heavily restrict me in terms of how I act and stuff but IDK, it might just be my anxiety giving me 'what ifs' or something, IDK
Also because I go to a Christian school (despite being Atheist), I know that that would be an issue
Hey @Willow feeling like you might be restricted from being yourself would make anyone feel anxious, I understand this is a hard conversation to have with your mum but your doing a great job at thinking things through and explaining to us. Do you have anyone that you could have these conversations with that may be easier than your mum?
Thank you, thankfully the person doing my CBT for anxiety is really nice and knows about it which is pretty good