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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) 15.12.25

LeylaLeyla Community Manager Posts: 614 Incredible Poster
edited December 15 in Health & Wellbeing
This is a space to chat or vent about things which you think may be more triggering for the Community but still want to get off your chest.

Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's venting thread that isn't triggering, click here.

Comments

  • Lottie5433Lottie5433 Community Connector Posts: 987 Part of The Mix Family
    edited December 16
    Idk why I wanted to write it on here instead of telling n someone but I’m struggling.
    • There is a lot of family drama happening between me and my sister
    • I’ve moved out now and am living in staff accommodation with my boyfriend
    • I have an appraisal at work in the upcoming weeks
    • My mental health is declining and there isn’t anything I can do really
    • I emailed CEDT about the peer support group as I’ve not been attending and just explained why, scared I’m going to have a wellbeing call now.
    • I’m anxious about the new year at work and continuing my supervisor role (get to do it for a whole year this time instead of for 9months)
    • My physical health is declining because I’m running myself down and not treating much
    • Keep having urges to hurt myself but don’t want to disappoint my boyfriend
  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 56 Boards Initiate
    Hey @Lottie5433 if this helped you, it seems like a really efficient way to express your emotions. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of this. I just want to acknowledge how much you are carrying right now, these issues would be a lot for anyone. However, none of this means you are failing or disappointing anyone, it's only human to feel anxious under this amount of strain, the fact that you can recognise and name these challenges in your life shows strength, even if it dosn't feel like it. You definitely deserve support through this and not judgemnent, please be gentle with yourself and know that we are here to support you. If you wish you go through any of these points you mentioned we'd be happy to listen and support you through this.
  • Lottie5433Lottie5433 Community Connector Posts: 987 Part of The Mix Family
    Thank you @Verity I appreciate it, I guess it kinda helped writing it all on here.

    There is a lot of family drama happening between me and my sister [TW]
    Well there’s just some issues going on between me and my older sister, going to put a Trigger warning here. Basically last month she said some things to me like “go slice yourself” and “not everyone can starve themselves like you do” this is all things she’s said to me over the last 15yrs which has just created a lot of trauma over this time. I’m only being it up because I mentioned to her how if I don’t have a picture of her and her boyfriend for my parents Christmas gift then I’d just put more of myself or my other sister. She didn’t like this because it’s not funny and you don’t know what people are going through. So I nearly just said “do you want to think about the comments you’ve said to me” to which she apologised but i don’t know how sincere it was. Like that one apology doesn’t make up for years of these comments and I know she will say them again, I’ve been told I should be the bigger person through.

    I’m anxious about my appraisal at work because it’s the first one I’ve had and it’s with my general manager. Like last year I just had a chat with my assistant general manager and it was just relaxed chat. But like not sure about this like my manager Is nice and I get on with her I’m just apprehensive about it all.

    I’m scared about a potential wellbeing call from CEDT only because I’m worried about what I tell them. But then today I had a missed call from the ICMHT so idk if they are going to call me back.

    These are the main points I can explain without worrying anyone
  • NemuritaiNemuritai Posts: 722 Part of The Mix Family
    It's really hard to talk about this since I feel embarrassed about it, but recently when I feel stressed or lonely or overwhelmed I end up gravitating towards chocolate and eat more than I should. It feels like I'm trying to fill some kind of hole inside me, and in the moment numbs everything, but I always end up feeling worse afterwards and then I feel guilty for giving in to the urge again. It's kind of difficult to deal with, and while I know I should find other things that are comforting that aren't eating, sometimes it feels like that's the only way to numb everything and like nothing else will help. It's difficult to talk to my parents about this and I don't think they really understand, so I thought I would write it here.
  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 56 Boards Initiate
    Hey @Lottie5433 I'm really sorry this was said to you, that can't have been easy to hear when you are already struggling. It's understandable that this has taken a toll on you over the years. Being the bigger person can be hard, but it can also alow you to set boundries if a realtionship is causing you distress. I wonder if you've spoken to you sister about how these words can affect/hurt you, what comes to mind when you think of this conversation?

    I really wish the best for you with your appraisel and I hope you get the outcome that you want, is there anything in particular that you are worried about that you feel comfortable sharing? it's completely understandable to feel this way about your wellbeing call, and the other things you are worried about I'm sure are not helping, but in a way, the wellbeing call could be another way to explain all of the bullet points you mentioned. I'm sure they will be there to listen as are we.
  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 56 Boards Initiate
    Hey @Nemuritai thanks for sharing this, guilt is a horrible feeling, we are here for you and understand that this is something you are struggling with. Turning to something that makes you feel good when you are lonely, stressed or overwhelmed is such a easy to way to feel comfort, but it must be really hard to feel this self-judgment from something that you enjoy. Try to be kind yourself and remember that you do deserve moments of comfort.
  • Lottie5433Lottie5433 Community Connector Posts: 987 Part of The Mix Family
    Verity wrote: »
    Hey @Lottie5433 I'm really sorry this was said to you, that can't have been easy to hear when you are already struggling. It's understandable that this has taken a toll on you over the years. Being the bigger person can be hard, but it can also alow you to set boundries if a realtionship is causing you distress. I wonder if you've spoken to you sister about how these words can affect/hurt you, what comes to mind when you think of this conversation?

    I really wish the best for you with your appraisel and I hope you get the outcome that you want, is there anything in particular that you are worried about that you feel comfortable sharing? it's completely understandable to feel this way about your wellbeing call, and the other things you are worried about I'm sure are not helping, but in a way, the wellbeing call could be another way to explain all of the bullet points you mentioned. I'm sure they will be there to listen as are we.

    Hi @Verity, thank you again I appreciate your words.
    I’ve never spoke to my sister about how her words hurt or affect me, I know if I did she wouldn’t care or she’d go tell my mum what I’ve said. Either way no one ever gets how I’m affected by it all - funnily enough not even my therapist I had understood just said “your eating disorder is a result of comments made by other in your childhood” didn’t really help with it or anything really.

    I wouldn’t say there is anything I’m worried about with the appraisal it’s just the thought of talking about my performance and the expectations for next year. But I’m kinda feeling okay going into next year because I know my general manager is supportive and I now work alongside my boyfriend and we will be taking things on as a team - like dealing with a certain employee.

    So I didn’t get a wellbeing call, I did email CEDT and they just said they look forward to seeing me in the new year and just to let them know ow if I was coming to session or not - guess that’s do they can do a wellbeing call if needed.

    The missed call I had from ICMHT was about me meeting with one of their workers to see if starting DBT now is a good thing or not. We have arranged that in January I am to meet them in person to discuss all this just waiting to find out the date which is a bit daunting because like I don’t know what to expect but I also need to get my rota done for work so my team know what they are doing. I also want to know so I can let my general manager know as I’ll need set days off and that has to work around my contracted hours and the opening times based on the season we are in etc

    So there is a lot currently but thank you for the message
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