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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) w/c 24.11.25

KatieKatie Community Manager Posts: 1,905 Extreme Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
This is a space to chat or vent about things which you think may be more triggering for the Community but still want to get off your chest.

Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's venting thread that isn't triggering, click here.

Comments

  • Lottie5433Lottie5433 Community Connector Posts: 971 Part of The Mix Family
    It’s been a rough morning, everything has kinda collapsed on me. Been crying since the moment I woke up really and it’s over something so stupid (that doesn’t matter through) I’ve annoyed my bf because I’ve not ate and all my medication says I need to eat before or after it. It’s got to a point where I don’t care if I feel sick when I’m on my meds. Stopped taking my inhaler even though I need it and told my gp I need a different one cause it’s not helping. Idk what’s even making me carry on right now.
    Also told my bf the only way I can feel better is to hurt myself but I can’t find anything to use because I’ve packed it all away - he doesn’t want me to do anything and wants me to talk but I can’t, I have know one that gets it, understands it or will just listen. I just get told I’m being stupid etc.
    trying to distract myself with bracelet making and tv but it’s not taking me away from the thoughts (like I am safe, but I know I’m worrying my bf etc)
    Part of me just wants to give up with all the waiting for support like they don’t care, haven’t been to peer support group for like 2 months now and still not had a check in to see how I am. Was told if I don’t go to group consistently then they’d start wellbeing calls but they haven’t, so do they really care?
    Just seem to mask all day everyday and when I’m alone I break down in tears and hate myself. I get easily annoyed and irritated by everything because I’m exhausted from masking all day

    Idk why I’ve even wrote this, but if you got this far I hope your okay and hope the day is as awesome as you are
  • Lottie5433Lottie5433 Community Connector Posts: 971 Part of The Mix Family
    TW: ED talk and Sh etc
    I feel like I’m heading backwards with my recovery.
    I made myself sick yesterday, partly because I felt ill and wanted the feeling to go but it’s like it released endorphins or something because now I want to do it again but also not eat at the same time. My brain is going down paths of figuring out what to do etc.
    yesterday I found a tool I could use to hurt myself and I fixated on it for ages with strong urges but didn’t go through with it.
    My gp is rubbish - can’t even approve a prescription for my inhaler after contacting saying my asthma is worsening: all they did was give me steroids and change an inhaler which I haven’t got yet. So I doubt they will do anything if I contact them saying things are getting bad again.
    Then there is the peer support group, they can’t even be bothered to wellbeing call me like they said, so is there much point in contacting them/emailing them saying things aren’t great? Not a lot they can do seen as group has been cancelled the last 2 weeks so can’t go this week either. Like I just don’t know what to do.
  • cosmicomicscosmicomics Posts: 3 Newbie
    edited November 26
    Things have been pretty rough lol. Went through another phase of thinking that my best friend hates me for no reason (she's virtually the only person I trust in my life outside of my mother atp), and although by forcing myself to type about it I've sort of sanity checked myself into realising I'm being delusional, the feeling still lingers and weighs me down a little. We're not as close as we used to be -- though for good reason, she's had a lot of awful family happenings as of late -- and it's really taken a toll on me mentally. I have no true friends other than her so it just makes the perennial loneliness that I typically feel even worse
  • NemuritaiNemuritai Posts: 569 Incredible Poster
    edited November 26
    I'm not doing well right now, my mental health hasn't been good at all if I'm completely honest and I'm so tired of dealing with everything by myself. I keep trying to tell my parents how much I'm struggling and that sometimes I don't want to live anymore (I'm safe and have no plans, just thoughts) and they won't listen to me, if they do the response is always 'you'll be better tomorrow' and of course I always wake up feeling pretty much the same. I'm so exhausted and things are so painful and it's just hard to cope with at the moment. I keep thinking I'm doing better for a few days but then the wave of sadness comes back and I can't do much but cry and try not to listen to the thoughts because they're not helpful. I just kind of want to move out but of course I'm not old enough and I don't feel prepared for living on my own at all, and thinking about the future makes me feel really upset and scared.
  • Blue_lilyBlue_lily Posts: 67 Boards Initiate
    edited November 26
    hey @Nemuritai

    I am sorry your mental health is not doing good at the moment. I hear how you are exhausted and the waves of sadness keep coming at you. You are doing so well to keep pushing through.

    You mention that your parents aren't listening to you, it must be difficult to feel like you have to carry these feelings on your own. You deserve to feel heard.

    I just want to say that although it may feel like you have to carry these feelings on your own this community will always be here for you whether you need to vent or chat. You are not alone on this journey, we are here by your side.

    I believe you have got this. You matter so much and from seeing your responses to other users on here you truly are such a kind soul.

    Sending you virtual hugs <3
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 6,073 Master Poster
    Nemuritai wrote: »
    I'm not doing well right now, my mental health hasn't been good at all if I'm completely honest and I'm so tired of dealing with everything by myself. I keep trying to tell my parents how much I'm struggling and that sometimes I don't want to live anymore (I'm safe and have no plans, just thoughts) and they won't listen to me, if they do the response is always 'you'll be better tomorrow' and of course I always wake up feeling pretty much the same. I'm so exhausted and things are so painful and it's just hard to cope with at the moment. I keep thinking I'm doing better for a few days but then the wave of sadness comes back and I can't do much but cry and try not to listen to the thoughts because they're not helpful. I just kind of want to move out but of course I'm not old enough and I don't feel prepared for living on my own at all, and thinking about the future makes me feel really upset and scared.

    @Nemuritai Im so sorry your parents aren't understanding and everything you're going through too but you're so brave, it takes courage to come on here and talk about this. It will get better and we are here for you in the meantime. Im so proud of you and Im sure everyone else us too
  • NemuritaiNemuritai Posts: 569 Incredible Poster
    @Blue_lily and @Redemption thank you so much for your kind words, it really does mean a lot to me right now. I got kind of teary reading those but in a good way. I appreciate you both lots and it means so much to have people listen and care. I hope you both are doing okay :heart:
  • Ech0Ech0 Posts: 71 Budding Regular
    edited November 26
    @Lottie5433 Thank you and you too.
    What you’re carrying sounds so painful and lonely and I am very sorry to hear that. Nothing about what you described means you’re failing or moving backwards because it instead shows how overwhelmed and exhausted you are and how hard you’ve been trying to hold yourself together without feeling properly supported. Those urges you felt are really just signs of how much you have been hurting and the fact that you didn’t act on them shows a strength you might not be able to see in yourself at the moment. It’s completely understandable to feel disheartened when your GP isn’t responsive and your support group hasn’t followed through, and it sounds incredibly hard to be facing all of that on top of everything else. I understanding feeling lost when it seems nobody in your life gets you . Your wellbeing is important and there are people who care about you including here and you don’t have to hold it in alone. Please remember that you are truly and deeply valued here. Your feelings matter so much and you don’t have to wear a mask with us if you don’t want to. The fact that you’re still trying and still reaching out says so much about your resilience. You’re not alone, and you truly deserve support, safety, and kindness every step of the way. You are such a lovely person @Lottie5433 and I hope you can feel even a small bit of that right now.
    Post edited by Ech0 on
  • Ech0Ech0 Posts: 71 Budding Regular
    @cosmicomics It sounds like your heart has been carrying so much, and the worry about losing someone so important to you can feel incredibly heavy. When a person means that much, it’s natural for your mind to drift into fear even when you know some of the thoughts may not be true, it just shows how much you care about your best friend. Even though the feelings are confusing and hard, they don’t take away from how kind and you are or from the compassion I am sure you bring to the people around you. Trying to make sense of your emotions and asking for support show how much courage you carry. You deserve to be treated with compassion and we are here to support you and lend an ear. You’re not facing this by yourself and you are appreciated far more than you may realise.
  • Ech0Ech0 Posts: 71 Budding Regular
    @Nemuritai It like you’re going through an incredibly heavy and exhausting time and trying to hold all of these feelings without feeling heard at home must be unbelievably lonely. I can only imagine how heavy and exhausting it must feel to carry all of this on your own, especially when it seems like the people closest to you don’t fully hear or understand how much you’re struggling. Your pain being brushed off with “you’ll be better tomorrow,” can make everything feel so much harder, because it leaves you feeling invisible when what you truly need is care, patience, and understanding.
    Those waves of sadness you describe can be so disorienting, especially when they come back just when you think things might be settling. You may not feel strong, but what you’re doing by getting through each day and reaching out for support takes so much resilience. It also makes perfect sense that thinking about the future feels frightening which I relate to but it is okay to not have everything figured out right now. The future is something you can approach one small step at a time and it’s okay to focus on just getting through today or this week because even small steps are meaningful and impactful. You are not alone in imagining a future where things feel safer, calmer, and kinder. I believe that future is possible and you deserve to reach it at your own pace.

    I hope you can hold onto the fact that your feelings matter very much and you deserve to be met with care and compassion. You don’t have to carry this by yourself and you can lean on this community whenever you like.
  • NemuritaiNemuritai Posts: 569 Incredible Poster
    @Ech0 thank you so much, hearing that means a lot right now and it really helps. I appreciate you and the effort you put into replying to and supporting people here, and I hope you remember that we're here for you also if you ever need anyone to listen :heart:
  • Lottie5433Lottie5433 Community Connector Posts: 971 Part of The Mix Family
    Thank you @Ech0 means a lot to hear those words right now. I wish I could feel anything you’ve just said but I can’t everything feels like it’s falling apart
  • cosmicomicscosmicomics Posts: 3 Newbie
    edited 7:15AM
    TW suicide
    Goooooood morning! I have been actively planning on trying to kill myself around the time in a few months where my mumma's not around the house LOL I can't live with the fact that I keep internally spoling my relations with everyone around me. No matter how metacognitive I get -- trying to convince myself that these thoughts are completely wrong -- they still stay in my emotional tract and eat me up from the inside. Why, for the past few months, have I sporadically assumed every week that my best friend suddenly hates me for no reason? Why does that one side of me constantly try to hate or envy her for her optimism even when I couldn't love her any more than I already do??? I am literally deluded and the onus is totally on me unfortunately. It's all just the fault of my perception; the world around me is so beautiful and she's the nicest friend I've ever had and will probably ever have but I keep like a high maintenance dribbling BPD moron. I can't maintain friendships let alone relationships with anyone I basically live alone in my nasty fucking head every day
  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 20 Boards Initiate
    Hey @cosmicomics thank you for opening up, it sounds like you are dealinig with some reall difficult emotions and I want you to know we are here for you. We've sent you a DM to help understand your situation more.
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