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Pregnant Ex
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone, its been a while since i posted here but im back again! I just cant keep away!
Right, im not sure if you remember my history so i'll quickly spell it out for you. From about October 2001 to January 2002 i was in love with someone, and went out with them, but it didnt work out. Since then, this girl and i havn't exactly had the best of relationships, we one minute we're fine with each other, the next we're arguing and fighting and saying we dont want anything to do with each other. Im not sure how she feels, but part of me hates her for what she did to me, but deep down i still have strong feelings for her that i've buried.
Well, anyway, a few months ago (June), she lost her virginity to her current boyfriend. For the past few months i've been asking (no, pleading) her to go onto the pill because i care for her and i didnt want her to get pregnant at 15 because if would disrupt her life and because i knew that condoms arn't 100% effective.
Well, she is now goin onto the pill but it looks like its too late. A month ago, the condom split while they were having sex and her mum took her to get the pill but it was too late by the time they did (over 72 hours later). The doctor told her to wait for her period and if it didnt come, go to him and get a urine test... her period hasnt come and shes going for the test today.
Her period is over a week late so both she and i think that she's pregnant... and she's decided she wants to keep the baby if she is. But her boyfriend has told her he doesnt want her to keep it.
Shes really confused but she is handling it well, shes actually really happy that shes pregnant!
I've told her that no matter what tom does (her boyfriend), i will always be here for her to talk to and that i'll support and stand by her. My problem is, i live in south wales she lives in east england (a 5 hour train journey away!).
Have i made the right decision in saying that? Have you got any advice for her or anything you would like to say for her prick of a boyfriend???
Thanks for any replys.
Right, im not sure if you remember my history so i'll quickly spell it out for you. From about October 2001 to January 2002 i was in love with someone, and went out with them, but it didnt work out. Since then, this girl and i havn't exactly had the best of relationships, we one minute we're fine with each other, the next we're arguing and fighting and saying we dont want anything to do with each other. Im not sure how she feels, but part of me hates her for what she did to me, but deep down i still have strong feelings for her that i've buried.
Well, anyway, a few months ago (June), she lost her virginity to her current boyfriend. For the past few months i've been asking (no, pleading) her to go onto the pill because i care for her and i didnt want her to get pregnant at 15 because if would disrupt her life and because i knew that condoms arn't 100% effective.
Well, she is now goin onto the pill but it looks like its too late. A month ago, the condom split while they were having sex and her mum took her to get the pill but it was too late by the time they did (over 72 hours later). The doctor told her to wait for her period and if it didnt come, go to him and get a urine test... her period hasnt come and shes going for the test today.
Her period is over a week late so both she and i think that she's pregnant... and she's decided she wants to keep the baby if she is. But her boyfriend has told her he doesnt want her to keep it.
Shes really confused but she is handling it well, shes actually really happy that shes pregnant!
I've told her that no matter what tom does (her boyfriend), i will always be here for her to talk to and that i'll support and stand by her. My problem is, i live in south wales she lives in east england (a 5 hour train journey away!).
Have i made the right decision in saying that? Have you got any advice for her or anything you would like to say for her prick of a boyfriend???
Thanks for any replys.
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Comments
it will be difficult situation..... but if you feel to do that, it's right you do.... can i ask you a thing? yes....
do you want to be just a friend?
or do you love her?
Best if you just lend a helping hand now and then and watch from the safety of the sidelines
Your young and by the sound of your post have a bright future ahead of you, you shouldn't be tied down at that age with a girl that's soon to be a mum, Be a friend to her but don't fuck up your own life if you don't have too!
Sorry to sound heartless but I just think what’s best for you.
Now Harmless, All ive said is i will be support her if her boyfriend doesnt (and its looking more and more likely that hes just going to run off and leave her). Im not planning to fuck up my life for her, what i AM saying is i will be a friend to her, a shoulder to cry on if she needs me.
Your right, she has got her friends and family to support her, but i just want her to know that i will support her as well despite all that happened between us.
You can be there as a friend but don't be too upset if she doesn't want your friendship.
I think it is a bit odd that you would advise your girlfriend what to do with regards to contraception, when really it isn't up to you to look out for her.
She has her family and friends, and her boyfriend should (and can be made to) take responsibility for what has happened. There is also nothing to say that she is pregnant! The stress and worry caused by thinking she is pregnant may be delaying her period.
Continue to be a friend, but try not to get too involved because you're only going to get hurt. She isn't your responsibility now.
Oooook! Well let her know and then leave it for a while so that things can sort themselves out, if she is pregnant she is going to have a lot to worry about without you too!
Out of interest, did she go and see the doctor within five days of having unprotected sex? The thing is that the doctor could have given her a coil. It's not the best solution and can cause severe problems but surely she should have been given the option and allowed to make the decision herself (with her mum).
Okay, so her period is late but has she actually done a pregnancy test yet? Her period may just be late because she's worried about the whole pregnancy thing or maybe her cycle isn't set into a rigid pattern. As for her boyfriend not wanting to keep the baby, I can fully understand that. I know that it's the 'honourable' thing to do but what's the point of two people staying together than don't want to be? If she is pregnant then would it not be better for the baby to be brought up in a loving environment with one parent, rather than have two parents that argue all the time?
If that is the case then good luck to her but something tells me that she's either bottling up her feelings or that she hasn't really thought the whole thing through properly yet.
You and her must be really good friends for you to offer to help her in any way you can. If it turns out that she is pregnant then she will need all the friends and support that she can find. So long as she doesn't come to rely on you too much then I don't see that there should be a problem. At the moment though the only thing that you can do is to get her to go to the doctors and get the test done. She can't really make any further plans until she knows one way or the other.
Sorry for waffling there. Take care, love Loopi. xxx
I think you lot were right.... i talked to her again on tuesday and her period had come on that day and she got the results of the test so she isnt pregnant.
But i've told her i better keep out of her way (mainly because her boyfriend has had a huge go at me and doesnt want me talking to his girlfriend). I dont want to cause any problems between them because i know how much my ex loves him (thats another problem, everytime she talks about her feelings for him, it really hurts).
Thanks anyway you lot (as always!).
Dai
Its bound to. It is a difficult subject. Especially if you were both very close it is hard to accept that she once loved you and now she loves someone else. It will be very hard for you to accept but you sound like a VERY nice person dont give up hope show her that you will be there if she needs you and try to act mature about it. Your personality will shine and people will like it. Im sure you will find someone and although it will be difficult to forget the goodtimes and the hurt it will soon fade and you will soon be able to face others. You are not going to be single forever.
BE HAPPY
PM me if you need a chat.