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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) w/c 22.09.25
Leyla
Community Manager Posts: 374 Listening Ear
This is a space to chat or vent about things which you think may be more triggering for the Community but still want to get off your chest.
Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's venting thread that isn't triggering, click here.
Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's venting thread that isn't triggering, click here.
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I’m just done with everything
With work
Life
Just everything
I feel sick to my stomach and just don’t see much point most of the time
The only thigg by a that keep me going are my dog and my bf
Can’t talk to him right now as I know what he’d say and tell me I need to talk to someone etc but can’t so that either
I think a lot of this is likely due to me being on my antidepressants again after not taking them for a few weeks or it if I did it was sporadic in when I’d take them. But also that I can’t do peer support this week and that I just felt a lot of things have been going on behind my back.
I’m just fed up with everything there is too much change happening.
Part of me just can’t do it anymore but I’ll disappoint a lot of people if I do anything
here for you lottie and im listening. you matter to me and everyone here at the mix. pls keep reaching out you matter.
Might have found out who contacted my gp about my medication access still don’t like it but I get why they did it
Nothing can ever be simple. I actually swear my life just makes everything 10x worse than it should be, and I Don't even know why. I am good person for heaven sake, not someone who does awful things.
God must have something against me.
@eylah I'm so so sorry. It must be impossibly difficult for you right now, but i want you to know, we're all here for you friend.
@eylah it's completely okay to have a slow day on such a painful anniversary. Please be kind to yourself and don't push yourself too much today. I can't even begin to imagine the heartache your feeling right now, and it's so unfair that your going through this pain. Sometimes it feels like god likes takes his best angels first, and we're all the poorer for it, but your mum will be looking down today, watching over you, feeling proud of you. And honestly, who wouldn't be proud of you? You're one of the kindest souls eylah.
@Animalloverb You've taken on such an enormous workload this last few months, and i can't even begin to imagine how crushing it must be. It's important to remember that at the end of the day, you are only human, and going on as things are is pretty much a guarantee of burnout and exhaustion. You aren't a machine. It really sounds like you do need a helping hand with things, and if you ever feel you need it, i can help get some lines together to organisations that can help with this all. The world is complete chaos, overcomplicated, and the weight of it is crushing even in normal times, let alone after everything you've been through and have to sort out still. You shouldn't have to do this alone.
And you are a good person. Of that, not a single person who ever disagree here, you are a light in so many peoples lives. Heck, in some cases, you're the only light in some people's lives. And that is something that is truly special about you mate. I can't answer why these things happen, why good people suffer, and why we lose good people. I know you mentioned you were religious, might i ask what religion if your comfortable sharing, as i may have some advice my vicar once gave me about why bad things happen to good people in regards to Christianity if that helps?
Hey mate,
Of course you can ask that question I don't mind. I'm Christian, I used to go to Sunday church services but my local church shut down for some reason.
I really appreciate it.
Also I am in and out of court at the moment so may be delays in my responses, sorry.
hey @Lottie5433 hru today?
Now I’m worrying and stressing and panicking a bit because my AGM at work that I’ve grown close to is leaving. Like they aren’t going far but it’s just so sudden, he did tell me the other day when he found out and I had to keep it a secret which was hard.
My head is hurting but I can’t do anything about that really.
Just got to look after my partner for a moment while he’s not well and try and make it to next Thursday when I can go to peer support again and meet the lady that I’ve been emailing and helping me with my anxiety about going
I have been going to court and stuff for this reason for quite a long while but I have never spoken about it till recently only because it was like a fresh thing, and I was also having deep conversations with my fiance about whether she would be okay with me doing it, and if I was making the right choice, she was always telling me how my choice is the best thing for the kid and she would be happy to be a parent even though we didn't plan on having any kids.
Since her passing I am finding the court a lot harder, because I am going to be a single parent, and my fiance is missing out on what would of been a start to a family.
The kid knew my fiance so I am still going to keep her in the picture as I really can't just erase her out of our family.
At the end of this month if everything goes to plan then I will be a parent.
After court today, I am then going to speak to some people in London to hopefully get my fiancé's funeral service accepted to be in her home country.
It is so valid that the news of your AGM leaving feels worrying and sudden. It sounds like you've really come to value and appreciate each other a lot at work, and it's a big shift, thinking about what that work-place will feel like without them. When is the person leaving?
It sounds like your partner has been struggling a lot recently, and you've been supporting him through this. What's that been feeling like for you?
We're here for you, and are grateful for what you're sharing. I hope your peer-support group went well - that sounds wonderful, and so positive to have that space and support!
How are you feeling emotionally through all of this? I wonder how the court went on the 24th?
Thinking of you and sending so much care as you plan your fiance's funeral. If comforting to share, what are some of the memories of them that feel especially close right now?
How have you been caring for yourself this week so far? What's something you might be able to do today or tomorrow to show yourself some kindness, even if for a tiny moment?
@Sian321 what's keeping me safe now is knowing things can change and will change and I'm not alone with my feelings. Im not suicidal, some days are just more rough than others and it's just like life gets stressful sometimes, Im all safe but just saying if I wasn't born I'd be nothing so would feel nothing but I know I can and will get better. Thank you for checking up on me.
I’m doing somewhat okay, i feel exhausted and mentally drained also just been having a lot of negative thoughts etc. the morning of the 23rd was difficult not really sure what brought it all on. The rest of the week has been up and down with a lot of stress and pressure I guess from work but also home has felt off and I don’t really know why.
The AGM leaving so suddenly was a huge shock really, like everyone knew he would be leaving and where he’d be going to but no one knew it would be this quickly we all thought end of season he’d be leaving. However he left Wednesday 24th.
My partner has been struggling a lot as he feels he needs to take on a lot of the responsibilities that the AGM had but he’s worrying and stressing about a lot of things so I’m trying to take that off him. I keep trying to make this a positive experience and that we can work closely together as a power couple that runs the cafe and leisure complex together to utilise both our skill.
I haven’t managed to go to peer support this week due to work, I do wish I could have gone as it would have helped with a lot of my thoughts and feelings that I’m bottling up. Although I couldn’t go I had a wellbeing call with the lady who runs the groups and she asked about my crisis level and if there was anything I need to stay safe etc. she mentioned how she could speak with my gp about my medication and to only give me a week at a time to limit my access as this was mentioned in my assessment with the team in April, but I also think it came off the back of the police involvement earlier in the month. She also said how she could take me to group as she lives down the road from me and if I need her to take me to ensure I go then she can, which I thought was a kind offer.
With all this going on I’ve had a few low days that I’ve masked and thought about ending it all etc and there have been days where I’ve hurt myself to cope with the thoughts I’m having. But this coming Thursday should be okay as I should be going to group and should be going to see my old AGM at his new workplace as he said there is a lot he wants to show me but also he said my OCD would not like the mess that he’s walked into with this job. I get to go back and be his PA to help with keeping the paperwork all together etc
I'm also wondering what usually helps you when you have these urges?
We're here to listen to whatever you feel comfortable sharing.