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Not being able to go on medication makes me fucking I truste

I genuinely wanna fucking scream
I’ve been getting worse to the point where it’s effecting how well I do at work, and I keep letting everybody down. Mindfulness, grounding myself or any other fucking technique doesn’t work for my autistic mind that’s always racing and always overwhelmed by everything, I want to be medicated because it may be my only hope in fixing myself.
And it fucking infuriates me knowing I can’t because of my fucking family. They’re never understanding of my mental health problems and dismiss it as me being dramatic, attention seeking, childish or oversimplify my solutions with “just don’t panic” or “just don’t let it get to you” like it’s fucking simple.
I haven’t got a car to take myself to my gp. Neither can I get it delivered to my house unless I want my family to be extra suspicious.
It fucking kills me inside that I’ll probably get worse and worse.
I’ve been getting worse to the point where it’s effecting how well I do at work, and I keep letting everybody down. Mindfulness, grounding myself or any other fucking technique doesn’t work for my autistic mind that’s always racing and always overwhelmed by everything, I want to be medicated because it may be my only hope in fixing myself.
And it fucking infuriates me knowing I can’t because of my fucking family. They’re never understanding of my mental health problems and dismiss it as me being dramatic, attention seeking, childish or oversimplify my solutions with “just don’t panic” or “just don’t let it get to you” like it’s fucking simple.
I haven’t got a car to take myself to my gp. Neither can I get it delivered to my house unless I want my family to be extra suspicious.
It fucking kills me inside that I’ll probably get worse and worse.
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Comments
If I’m lucky enough to get prescribed from boots, the only thing I may have to worry about it my work schedule. For context, I only go to boots on Mondays since that’s when I go with my mother for shopping. Sometimes, my work schedule isn’t consistent and my workplace would need me on Mondays sometimes. But I’m sure that’s an issue I can get over with. Thank you
Edit: I’ve just remembered I already go to boots to pick up other medication, so I could possibly used that as an excuse to say “oh mum, I’ve ran out of my medication, can you drop me off at boots”