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Vent/rant
Animalloverb
Posts: 198 Trailblazer
I am really trying to prove people wrong.
A lot of people literally don't believe in me at all and they only have nasty things to say, they say all this crap just because of my mental health problems and health conditions. But I know that I am so much more then that but it's hard to believe in myself when nobody else believes in me. So I am doing everything I can to prove myself right and them all wrong.
The only person that believes in me as my wonderful partner, like shout out to her for being the only person to believe in me.
I have set myself goals and even when everyone says awful things to me I am going to achieve my goals anyway.
This morning I went for a run which someone wasn't so happy about as they said I am never going to last at it when I did so I am proud of myself. I know with my medical conditions it is going to extremely difficult to keep up with the morning runs but as long as I do it at my own pace and have a rest from it every little so often I believe it will be okay.
Even though I have been told by my medical professionals to step back from the gym and stuff, which has been extremely difficult for me to do so I have decided that I am not just going to give up the gym like that especially when it is a really important thing in my life and it is what helps me feel so much stronger so I am still going to go to the gym but less then I used to, as I used to do it twice every single day so now I am limiting it to maybe once a day first and then cut it down to a few times a week so I can still have this important thing but I am also then taking medical professionals words into account for my health.
I still do not understand how nobody believes I me -other than my partner- when I literally have 2 jobs and do other things on the side. I am studying at the same time too so I am doing more then what they are all doing, I am not necessarily doing exactly what I am wanting to do but I am slowly working towards going there.
A lot of people literally don't believe in me at all and they only have nasty things to say, they say all this crap just because of my mental health problems and health conditions. But I know that I am so much more then that but it's hard to believe in myself when nobody else believes in me. So I am doing everything I can to prove myself right and them all wrong.
The only person that believes in me as my wonderful partner, like shout out to her for being the only person to believe in me.
I have set myself goals and even when everyone says awful things to me I am going to achieve my goals anyway.
This morning I went for a run which someone wasn't so happy about as they said I am never going to last at it when I did so I am proud of myself. I know with my medical conditions it is going to extremely difficult to keep up with the morning runs but as long as I do it at my own pace and have a rest from it every little so often I believe it will be okay.
Even though I have been told by my medical professionals to step back from the gym and stuff, which has been extremely difficult for me to do so I have decided that I am not just going to give up the gym like that especially when it is a really important thing in my life and it is what helps me feel so much stronger so I am still going to go to the gym but less then I used to, as I used to do it twice every single day so now I am limiting it to maybe once a day first and then cut it down to a few times a week so I can still have this important thing but I am also then taking medical professionals words into account for my health.
I still do not understand how nobody believes I me -other than my partner- when I literally have 2 jobs and do other things on the side. I am studying at the same time too so I am doing more then what they are all doing, I am not necessarily doing exactly what I am wanting to do but I am slowly working towards going there.
2
Comments
Thank you so much for making this post and for opening up about this. It sounds like you’ve been carrying so much lately, and I really hear the strength and determination you’re showing, especially when you’re not always getting the support you deserve.
You've been working extremely hard to prove people wrong, and it sounds like you've felt really misjudged and misunderstood in the past, which can be very hurtful and lonely. If you feel comfortable sharing, when you mention not being believed, are there any specific people you're referring to, or maybe it is more a dynamic with people in general? It sounds like your partner has been hugely important to you, and you to her also. That's beautiful, Bea, and you deserve to be believed and supported truly.
I hear you, and I know you've mentioned just how tough it's been adjusting to not having the gym in your life so much when that has been your safe-place, and a huge coping tool. It sounds like you're wanting to find a balance of taking good care of your physical health and taking your medical team's advice on board, and at the same time, finding ways to re-introduce physical activity back into your life at a pace that suits you and that helps boost your mental wellbeing. What do you imagine going back to the gym might feel like? How do you feel after moments like your run this morning?
You’ve got a lot of courage in the way you keep showing up, and I’d love to hear more about what keeps you motivated on the harder days.
We're here for you Bea, and we believe you. We see just how much you're holding, and we really want to listen.
Just like everyone in general to be honest, so people in my family and all those type of people. Its basically just everyone who should be the ones to believe in me that just Don't.
I am excited to get myself into doing gym again, I have really missed it and I really do need it in my life so getting the balance right should hopefully allow me to keep at it. My run this morning was amazing, i really needed it, it was just relaxing but at the same time it made me feel better as I just felt so powerful when releasing some the negative energy inside me.
I am still really struggling to be honest, motivation is a really hard thing to keep aswell as find so I make use of it everytime I have it. My main motivation at the moment is just to do better for myself as I neglect myself so much and I just want that to change as it isn't healthy.