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I’m scared
River
Community Connector Posts: 4,859 The Mix Elder
I don’t feel real at all, it’s like I’m watching myself through a screen in my own head, like my thoughts and actions aren’t mine. Everything feels foggy inside my head but also outside my head 
it makes me feel lost and confused I feel so absent like I can’t make sense of things it’s like one minute it’s 10am and then all of a sudden it’s 1pm 💀 it’s weird I don’t feel like me. It’s like I’m constantly dreaming
it makes me feel lost and confused I feel so absent like I can’t make sense of things it’s like one minute it’s 10am and then all of a sudden it’s 1pm 💀 it’s weird I don’t feel like me. It’s like I’m constantly dreaming ✨ ℐ 𝒶𝓂 𝒷𝓇𝒶𝓋ℯ. ℐ 𝒶𝓂 𝒷𝓇𝓊𝒾𝓈ℯ𝒹. ℐ 𝒶𝓂 𝓌𝒽ℴ 𝒾𝓂 𝓂ℯ𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉ℴ 𝒷ℯ ✨
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
4
Comments
Thank you for sharing how you feel, it takes a lot of courage to open up. It sounds like you're having a tough time at the moment and I hope I can offer some reassurance.
What you've described sounds like a form of dissociation called depersonalisation and derealisation. Dissociation is when you feel disconnected from yourself and / or your surroundings. During dissociation a person might disconnect from their thoughts, feelings, actions, memories, surroundings, or their sense of identity. Dissociation is a way for the brain to cope with stressful or traumatic events. A dissociative episode can be useful during a traumatic event, as it helps us to distance ourselves from a difficult experience that’s out of our control, so we are still able to function and cope. However, sometimes dissociative episodes may continue after the stressful event, or may not seem to have even been triggered by a specific thing, and this is when it can become a problem and could be a disorder and we feel disconnected constantly.
Depersonalisation is characterised by feeling disconnected from yourself, your body and / or your mind and can cause you to feel as though you're watching yourself from outside, you're not controlling your speech or movements and you may feel generally disconnected from yourself and your past experiences.
Derealisation is characterised by feeling disconnected from your surroundings and can cause you to have a distorted perception of time, feeling like you're in a dream or watching a film and your surroundings to feel foggy or lifeless.
If you’d like to learn more about dissociation, depersonalisation and derealisation you could look at the Unreal UK charity website. ~ Unreal UK is a charity that specialises in depersonalisation and derealisation. They have lots of useful information and resources on their website. Unreal UK also offers online peer support sessions for people suffering with depersonalisation and derealisation, which you may find helpful (but you might want to check if there’s a minimum age for the group).
If you haven’t already, I’d recommend speaking to someone you trust about how you’ve been feeling, as they might be able to offer advice or just a listening ear.
I wanted to finish off by telling you that you are not alone with how you are feeling and there are people who understand and want to help you. I've also experienced dissociation and know that depersonalisation and derealisation can be a really scary and isolating experience, but there is hope and things can get better.
I hope that helps you to feel a bit less alone and maybe understand what you’re going through a bit more.
Sorry that this post was so long, I hope I haven't overwhelmed you with information!
Forest : D
How has that sensation been over the last couple of days?
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
Thank you for sharing how you feel, it takes a lot of courage to open up. It sounds like you're having a tough time at the moment and I hope I can offer some reassurance.
What you've described sounds like a form of dissociation called depersonalisation and derealisation. Dissociation is when you feel disconnected from yourself and / or your surroundings. During dissociation a person might disconnect from their thoughts, feelings, actions, memories, surroundings, or their sense of identity. Dissociation is a way for the brain to cope with stressful or traumatic events. A dissociative episode can be useful during a traumatic event, as it helps us to distance ourselves from a difficult experience that’s out of our control, so we are still able to function and cope. However, sometimes dissociative episodes may continue after the stressful event, or may not seem to have even been triggered by a specific thing, and this is when it can become a problem and could be a disorder and we feel disconnected constantly.
Depersonalisation is characterised by feeling disconnected from yourself, your body and / or your mind and can cause you to feel as though you're watching yourself from outside, you're not controlling your speech or movements and you may feel generally disconnected from yourself and your past experiences.
Derealisation is characterised by feeling disconnected from your surroundings and can cause you to have a distorted perception of time, feeling like you're in a dream or watching a film and your surroundings to feel foggy or lifeless.
If you’d like to learn more about dissociation, depersonalisation and derealisation you could look at the Unreal UK charity website. ~ Unreal UK is a charity that specialises in depersonalisation and derealisation. They have lots of useful information and resources on their website. Unreal UK also offers online peer support sessions for people suffering with depersonalisation and derealisation, which you may find helpful (but you might want to check if there’s a minimum age for the group).
If you haven’t already, I’d recommend speaking to someone you trust about how you’ve been feeling, as they might be able to offer advice or just a listening ear.
I wanted to finish off by telling you that you are not alone with how you are feeling and there are people who understand and want to help you. I've also experienced dissociation and know that depersonalisation and derealisation can be a really scary and isolating experience, but there is hope and things can get better.
I hope that helps you to feel a bit less alone and maybe understand what you’re going through a bit more.
Sorry that this post was so long, I hope I haven't overwhelmed you with information!
Forest : D
@River I know this is no consolation, but your MDT team will have experts who are specialised in dissociation who will be able to offer you professional support that you deserve for this. Help is out there for you. I don't know a huge amount about it, and i don't know the right words to say, but please try and remember, you aren't alone, and we're all here for you friend. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.