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Self-Care Kit - The Mix's Ultimate Guide!
Hey everyone,
We’re mindful that sometimes our Chats and Threads have needed to be cancelled or rescheduled, which can be really disappointing and frustrating, especially if you've been waiting for a service to take place.
While its not a direct substitute for the peer-support of live group spaces, we wanted to put together some quick ways you could practice self-care in these moments, offering alternative ways to still meet the needs that might bring you to Chats or Threads, even if it’s just for now.
We’ll break it down by what you might be looking for, and how you can still find that support:
"I need to get things off my chest. It’s all building up."
"I feel guilty or mad at myself - I need help being kind to me."
"I'm angry / pissed off and I need a space to vent"
"I need advice or reassurance about a specific situation/ decision"
“I’m so panicked. I need help calming down ”
"I feel kinda lonely. I just want connection."
“I just want to laugh or distract myself with something light."
"I’m soooo bored. I want something fun to do!"
“I am struggling to cope” "I'm totally spiraling" “I’m in a crisis” "I'm not safe"
“I get that I can do self-care, but I really want to talk to another support service / organisation”
Got any other top-tips for what you do to care for yourself or work through your emotions? Drop them below! Lets help one another!
We know that Chat and Thread closures can let you folks down, and we want to avoid it at all costs. You deserve to be able to have as many options for help available to you, and while its not meant to replace live Community support, we hope that these self-care options might be able to help.
(Ending this post *strong* with a photo of some puppies, because looking at cute puppies is ALWAYS self-care!)
We’re mindful that sometimes our Chats and Threads have needed to be cancelled or rescheduled, which can be really disappointing and frustrating, especially if you've been waiting for a service to take place.
While its not a direct substitute for the peer-support of live group spaces, we wanted to put together some quick ways you could practice self-care in these moments, offering alternative ways to still meet the needs that might bring you to Chats or Threads, even if it’s just for now.
We’ll break it down by what you might be looking for, and how you can still find that support:
"I need to get things off my chest. It’s all building up."
Bottling everything up inside can be really heavy and overwhelming. If that’s how you’re feeling right now, you could try:
- Get a piece of paper and scribble down a “worry dump” - let the paper hold your worries, rather than your head
- 'Name it to tame it' - Use this feelings wheel to help you name what you're feeling right now - https://feelingswheel.com/
- Send a voice note to yourself like a mini check-in - WhatsApp is great for this. You can DM yourself.
- Make a post on the Discussion Boards, or call or text a friend. Studies have shown that chatting with a friend or loved one even just once during the day to catch up, joke around or tell them you're thinking of them can help fulfil that human need to belong and boost wellbeing.
- Colour your feelings onto paper - sometimes it's hard to find the words, but using colours could help you express yourself, e.g. red for anger, blue for sadness
- Put on a movie or song that lets you cry it out and helps all that pent-up emotion to move through you
- If you're a spiritual or religious person, praying might help you to ask your higher-power to help you hold the weight of these feelings. You don't have to face this alone.
- Check out SHOUT’s self-help resources - https://giveusashout.org/get-help/resources/
"I feel guilty or mad at myself - I need help being kind to me."
Coping with guilt, self-criticism, or anger directed at ourselves can feel really overwhelming sometimes, creating an urge to berate or punish ourselves.
Regardless of what has happened, you are a human being who is worthy of support and understanding. This is your first time on Planet Earth too! If you’re struggling with self-blame, you could try:
Regardless of what has happened, you are a human being who is worthy of support and understanding. This is your first time on Planet Earth too! If you’re struggling with self-blame, you could try:
- Tearing paper, holding ice, or gently throwing a pillow to release tension
- Looking at a photo of younger-you: what do they need to hear right now?
- Searching “5 min self-compassion meditation” on YouTube and give your brain a break
- Open your Notes app on your phone and imagine you're writing a kind reply to a friend whose just texted you saying, "I'm so mad at myself right now". What supportive and kind words would you say to them?
- Reach out on the Discussion Boards, or text someone who gets it
- Check out SHOUT’s self-help resources - https://giveusashout.org/get-help/resources/
"I'm angry / pissed off and I need a space to vent"
When you're fuming, everything can feel tight and urgent. Maybe something unfair happened, or you're just carrying around way too much. Anger is a totally valid emotion (and often helps us listen into our boundaries). You deserve space to express it safely and without shame.
Some things you could try if you need to vent is to:
Some things you could try if you need to vent is to:
- Open your Notes app or grab some paper and just let rip! Swear, shout (in writing), don’t hold back. This space is just for you.
- Go for a power walk or put on a loud playlist and move your body. This can help you to release the tension and anger.
- Rip or crumple up paper, scream into a pillow, or squeeze a stress ball or ice cube to get some of that tension out.
- Record a voice note of yourself venting. You don’t have to send it to anyone. Just say exactly what you need to say.
- Get curious about what's underneath this anger? Are you feeling a bit hurt? Embarrassed? Overlooked? What are the needs underlying the anger? Do you just want to feel heard? Craving a bit more control? Naming these things (even just to yourself) can help.
- Text or talk to someone you trust. You could say, "Hey, I'm kind of I’m pissed off about something. Would it be okay for me to send a voice note and vent a second?"
"I need advice or reassurance about a specific situation/ decision"
Knowing what to do or what not to do about a specific situation can be really hard to figure out on our own. If your mind is racing and you need advice, you could try:
- Draw up a quick spider-diagram on a piece of paper, scribbling down all your options and possible next-steps. Try not to judge yourself as you write. This is just about getting ideas down on paper.
- Make a ‘pro’ vs ‘con’ list to help you make your decision
- Ask yourself - if other people’s opinion’s didn’t matter here, what would I want to happen next?
- Draw two circles on a piece of paper - one in the centre of the other. The inner circle represents everything that’s within your control right now. The outer circle is everything beyond your control. How can you focus on what YOU can control right now?
- Write an email / text / letter to someone who can advise you - even if you have to wait for a response, getting your question sent off is a great way to set the wheels into motion and to let your brain know help is on the way
- Check out SHOUT’s Self-help resources: https://giveusashout.org/get-help/resources/
“I’m so panicked. I need help calming down ”
Panic or anxiety can feel terrifying, like you’re not safe, can’t breathe, or something really bad is about to happen. Often this is our body's way of trying to warn or protect us, even when there's actually no immediate threat. Here are a few things you can try to help ride it out:
- Breathe in deeply through your nose for the count of 3. Breathe out slowly through your mouth for the count of 6.
- Repeat a calming mantra - “I am safe right now.” “I’ve felt this way before, and I will survive it again”, “Panic comes in waves. I can ride out this wave”, “Even though I don’t have the answers right now, everything will be okay”
- Open the Notes app on your phone. Write down 5 things you can see right now. 4 things you can hear. 3 things you can feel. 2 things you can smell. 1 thing you can taste.
- Distract yourself with a light-hearted game like Wordle, online chess, a maths problem (need a prompt!? What’s 34 + 24)
- Cuddle a stuffed toy. Focus on the soft sensation in your hands, or the soothing weight.
- Text a loved one, or drop a message on Discussion Boards
- Go to YouTube and type in 'Cute and calming puppy videos' 'Cute and calming kitten videos' - thank us later!
- Check out SHOUT’s Self-help resources: https://giveusashout.org/get-help/resources/
- Apps such as Headspace (which offer free trials), Insight Timer (free) and Dare: Anxiety Relief (free to use most parts of the App) offer lots of grounding meditations / SOS mental health 'pep-talks' which might feel soothing right now too.
"I feel kinda lonely. I just want connection."
Loneliness is one of the hardest things we can go through, and it can creep in quietly and linger in the background or hit us suddenly like a crashing wave. Loneliness is also so, so human, and ironically, it's one of the feelings we often share! We’re wired for connection, and it’s okay to need it. You could try:
- ‘Name it to tame it’ - what would it feel like to say to yourself, ‘I’m lonely right now’? Notice the feelings that float up when you allow this loneliness some space to breathe - sadness? Grief? Betrayal? Hope?
- Write a text / letter to a loved one - connecting with others in an intentional way. Need a text prompt idea? You could say, "Hey, I'm struggling a bit right now - could we talk?", "Hey mate, how's your day been so far?", "I was just thinking about you! Want to meet up / call / message some time? I miss you!"
- Putting a YouTube video, Podcast or nostalgic movie on in the background- let the characters keep you company
- Do one small act of kindness for someone else - whether that’s checking in on a friend, or writing a kind reply on the Discussion Boards. Kindness is a great way to feel closer to the people around us.
- Spend a low-pressure afternoon in a public space to feel the comforting buzz of people around you, whether that’s a walk in your local park, sitting in a cafe for half an hour, or riding a bus. Noticing people around us can help us realise we’re all human beings living our daily stories, trying to figure our way through.
- Get out into Nature or open your window and breathe the fresh air - remember you’re a part of it all - the sky, the trees, the grass. You belong here.
“I just want to laugh or distract myself with something light."
That’s totally fair - laughter is medicine after all! If you’re looking for a laugh, why not try:
- Watch a funny YouTube vid or talk show
- Try learning a TikTok dance
- Play a silly mobile game
- Rewatch your fave meme compilation or comedy episode
- Do a “Try not to laugh” challenge
"I’m soooo bored. I want something fun to do!"
Boredom can be surprisingly tough. It can leave us feeling kind of restless, stuck, or even a bit lost, like we’re drifting without direction. It’s a very human feeling, especially when things feel empty or uncertain. And fun can be a fantastic antidote!
If you’re bored, you could try:
If you’re bored, you could try:
- Making a playlist of songs that feel like “freedom” OR a playlist for the season we’re in, Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter
- Reorganising your room or desk space (tiny changes can feel big!)
- Back in the day, we used to send cards all the time - to say thank you, I’m thinking of you, get well soon. Why not surprise someone by sending a hand-written card instead of texting / messaging like you usually do. You can buy stamps from most supermarkets, WHSmith, or your local post-office.
- Watch a Wildlife webcam - https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/webcams
- Learn a TikTok dance (a good way to laugh too!)
- Make a ‘Mug Cake’ - https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/microwave-mug-cake
- Start a General Chat on the Discussion Boards - https://community.themix.org.uk/categories/anything-goes
“I am struggling to cope” "I'm totally spiraling" “I’m in a crisis” "I'm not safe"
The Mix cannot offer support safely or meaningfully if you’re at a point of crisis. That being said, you don’t have to face this alone. The following places are here for you to offer 1:1 support:
If you or somebody else is at urgent risk of harm, we would urge you to dial 999 for emergency assistance or to journey to your local A&E.
For medical support, go to A&E for emergencies, and dial NHS 111 for non-emergency advice or reach out to your GP.
Apps to try:
Calm Harm
Distract
Stay Alive
- (Open 24/7) Childline (if you're 18 and under) - https://www.childline.org.uk/
- (Open 24/7) SHOUT - https://giveusashout.org/
- (Open 24/7) Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org/contact-us/
- (Open till midnight) CALM - https://www.thecalmzone.net/suicide-prevention-helpline
- (Open 24/7) Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
- (Open 24/7) - National Domestic Abuse Helpline - https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/
If you or somebody else is at urgent risk of harm, we would urge you to dial 999 for emergency assistance or to journey to your local A&E.
For medical support, go to A&E for emergencies, and dial NHS 111 for non-emergency advice or reach out to your GP.
Apps to try:
Calm Harm
Distract
Stay Alive
“I get that I can do self-care, but I really want to talk to another support service / organisation”
Sometimes we really just need to talk to someone else outside of friends, family, or our own brains!! That's totally valid.
Are there any other mental health / health professionals in your life you can contact right now? Could you drop an email to your counsellor? A call to your CMHT? Booking an appointment with your school's wellbeing team or teacher, or your GP? Whose already in your network that you can draw on right now?
Not all of us have access to professional mental health support and / or, we might want to reach out to a more instant service to chat things out today.
Some alternative spaces that are here for you include:
Are there any other mental health / health professionals in your life you can contact right now? Could you drop an email to your counsellor? A call to your CMHT? Booking an appointment with your school's wellbeing team or teacher, or your GP? Whose already in your network that you can draw on right now?
Not all of us have access to professional mental health support and / or, we might want to reach out to a more instant service to chat things out today.
Some alternative spaces that are here for you include:
- (18 and over) My Black Dog (non-crisis line) - https://www.myblackdog.co/
- (LGBTQIA+) Switchboard - https://switchboard.lgbt/
- Is This Okay - https://www.isthisok.org.uk/
- (11-25yrs) Tell Mi - https://www.tellmi.help/
- (18+) Side by Side - https://sidebyside.mind.org.uk/
- Kelly's Heros - https://kellysheroes.org.uk/services/live-chat/
- (18+) KNUS - A bookable peer-support service (not a drop-in live chat service) - https://knus.io/peer-support/
Got any other top-tips for what you do to care for yourself or work through your emotions? Drop them below! Lets help one another!
We know that Chat and Thread closures can let you folks down, and we want to avoid it at all costs. You deserve to be able to have as many options for help available to you, and while its not meant to replace live Community support, we hope that these self-care options might be able to help.
(Ending this post *strong* with a photo of some puppies, because looking at cute puppies is ALWAYS self-care!)
Post edited by Sian321 on
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