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TW- mentions of suicide
Animalloverb
Posts: 127 The Mix Convert
Hey,
Mentions of suicide.
But the thing is, it has been on my mind quite a bit, as I really enjoy walking along there and I have done it many times but that day I just didn't feel like doing it as the next day I had to be out early as I was going out with my girlfriend. I heard helicopters and emergency services with their sirens on but I didn't think too much of it but then when I found out what actually happened I got mad at myself for not going for my usual walk that evening as I could of done something to prevent it from happening, I look out for people in my community and help people whenever I can and the fact I should of been there at the time just made me blame myself, I should of gone on my usual walk that evening.
Mentions of suicide.
on wednesday evening quite late at night some people in my area ended their lives, it was such a sad thing.
But the thing is, it has been on my mind quite a bit, as I really enjoy walking along there and I have done it many times but that day I just didn't feel like doing it as the next day I had to be out early as I was going out with my girlfriend. I heard helicopters and emergency services with their sirens on but I didn't think too much of it but then when I found out what actually happened I got mad at myself for not going for my usual walk that evening as I could of done something to prevent it from happening, I look out for people in my community and help people whenever I can and the fact I should of been there at the time just made me blame myself, I should of gone on my usual walk that evening.
Post edited by TheMix on
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I am to blame for the outcome because I wasn't there when I should of been. It's my fault they are gone
Thank you for opening up to us. It sounds like you are carrying some really heavy feelings with you at the moment. This must be really tough to hold on to, but you have done the right thing in sharing these feelings with us here.
I can hear that you are feeling guilt at not going for your usual walk the other night - but as your peers above have said, this is not your fault. But any feelings you are having around this are so so valid and we are here to sit and listen to you. It sounds like the feelings of blame or guilt you are holding are really overwhelming at the moment, so I'm wondering if you feel there are ways in which you can look after yourself and show yourself some extra care this evening. What do you think?
Please reach out to us when you need to. We are all here for you.
Take care.
I understand why you are saying it is not my fault and things. But to me it feels like it is, mostly because I do all that I can to look out for people within my community, to make it safe and to also help others feel safe. But what I also do is support people when they are struggling or feeling unwell. I know it isn't a given responsibility but to me it means a lot what I do and everytime I fail I take it to heart and blame myself as what I do is very important to me.
I have helped old people who have been rather upset and loomed lost, I have spoken to some young people. I have done so much for people everytime I have gone on these walks. These walks aren't serious and I Don't need to do them everyday but it is In my routine to do them and I never not go on my walk, I only stop going them if I am not well health wise like the Time when I lost my mobility and the time where my epilepsy was out of control but when I am how I am now I always go on them.
TW- mention of suicide
I am currently working on a project but it is a long and hard project mostly because I need permission from different services to do it, but I am hoping to get a little sign with mental health charity numbers such as samaritans and also the emergency services number on and have it placed at that area, I know it probably won't do anything but it may help somebody one day. But I also do want something there with some quotes on and messages to just give them something to help them while they make their Decision but it also helps gives more of a chance of someone noticing that they are struggling so emergency responders have a higher chance of getting their in time.
Thank you, I appreciate it. I'm all good I promise. And I'm always kind to myself, well try to be at least.
It's just never easy for me to get over a loss, even if I didn't really know them because a few years ago that could of been me and I am so grateful that I am still here.
I understand @Animalloverb we are all here for you ❤️ for everything. You've done amazing opening up here about this and everything else
im so happy you’re here bea bc you deserve to live a life that makes you happy. im sry you’re dealing with all of this but pls know we’re here for you.
keep going bea you’ve got this. keep reaching out to the community we care abt you so much and are here to support you.
I am doing slightly better now. I did some reflecting and thinking about it I did do everything that I could, I needed rest and sadly the day I needed to rest was the day they decided they could no longer cope. It is still sad that it happened.