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TW- mentions of sexual assult and suicide attempts.
Animalloverb
Posts: 127 The Mix Convert
So in my past when I was 9 years old a family member started abusing me, and they sexually abused me many times.
It was horrific, I was threatened not to say anything as they said if I told someone and they found out they would
I was just a scared little kid, I didn't understand what was going on as I trusted them as we were close.
It got to the point before my 13th Birthday I just had enough, I wanted it to end and I didn't care of they were going to end me, so I told someone and they sent me back home to them and the whole time I was thinking does my abuser know I told someone so I walked in feeling scared but relieved too, and I got a call to speak to some undercover police which I did I told them a bit about what was happening but because I was so scared I just wanted to hide away. They arrested my abuser. I had to do so many statements, I had to go into so much detail about what happened to me and It was so hard I wanted it all to go away so I did
My abuser pleaded not guilty but it wasn't until there was loads of evidence to prove what my abuser did, they decided to plead guilty as they would get a lesser sentence.
It was past my 13th birthday when my abuser was finally sentenced and I felt safer.
People think I was brave for what I did which I understand buy I didn't do it for me. I did if for my siblings, they were only really young at the time and didn't understand and neither did I really. But my abuser did physically abuse my younger brother and when I saw that happening that is what made me tell someone what they were doing to me just because I didn't want my brother to go through that anymore. And my sister was also just hitting the age where I though the abuser would start doing what he did to me, to her and i couldn't cope with that I wanted to give my siblings a safe family which is why I braved it and told someone.
But it has been so many years since this happened, my abuser will be out of prison either next year or the year after, which is kind of scary to think about but I know I am safe and they can not hurt any of us.
It was horrific, I was threatened not to say anything as they said if I told someone and they found out they would
literally end me and anyone who may of heard me make a the sound.
I was just a scared little kid, I didn't understand what was going on as I trusted them as we were close.
It got to the point before my 13th Birthday I just had enough, I wanted it to end and I didn't care of they were going to end me, so I told someone and they sent me back home to them and the whole time I was thinking does my abuser know I told someone so I walked in feeling scared but relieved too, and I got a call to speak to some undercover police which I did I told them a bit about what was happening but because I was so scared I just wanted to hide away. They arrested my abuser. I had to do so many statements, I had to go into so much detail about what happened to me and It was so hard I wanted it all to go away so I did
try ending my own life about 6 times, each attempt failed.
My abuser pleaded not guilty but it wasn't until there was loads of evidence to prove what my abuser did, they decided to plead guilty as they would get a lesser sentence.
It was past my 13th birthday when my abuser was finally sentenced and I felt safer.
People think I was brave for what I did which I understand buy I didn't do it for me. I did if for my siblings, they were only really young at the time and didn't understand and neither did I really. But my abuser did physically abuse my younger brother and when I saw that happening that is what made me tell someone what they were doing to me just because I didn't want my brother to go through that anymore. And my sister was also just hitting the age where I though the abuser would start doing what he did to me, to her and i couldn't cope with that I wanted to give my siblings a safe family which is why I braved it and told someone.
But it has been so many years since this happened, my abuser will be out of prison either next year or the year after, which is kind of scary to think about but I know I am safe and they can not hurt any of us.
Post edited by Katie on
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Comments
I just wanted to reach out to say how proud we are of you for reaching out to us and for being so honest. It is an incredibly brave thing to do.
What you have been through sounds unimaginably painful and heavy to carry with you. I am also understanding there are parts of you that still feel scared for the future whilst also recognising you are now safe. All of these feelings are so so valid and you have done so well to share them with us.
I just want to check in with how you are feeling today? We are all here to listen to you and support you.
Take care.