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Overwhelmed

RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,933 The Mix Elder
I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately and my family sometimes comes to me making comments doubting me, which only makes things more overwhelming. I’m overwhelmed as it is and doubt myself already, and their comments just add to that. I already feel alone because I don’t really have anyone to talk to apart from online services. I do get counselling in person but I’m being strongly encouraged to quit, which adds even more pressure.

I know I’m at home not doing much right now but I’ve tried. I’m working with my key worker who’s helping me work on things like eye contact, and I’m also working with another organisation that supports young people in getting into work. I’m currently working on my CV with them. Things can be a bit hectic at home in general, it can get loud, and I think I’d feel similar anywhere else unless I lived alone. I sometimes want to step away and go to other family members’ houses but I worry they’ll probably make comments too. I also don’t feel like I can call friends or make calls in general because I’m worried they might listen in.

There was a time recently when they were trying to help me with something, like finding a job. I asked them to just send me the link to apply but they wanted to talk to me about it. I didn’t really feel I needed the help and said no, basically, and in response they made some hurtful comments. That sort of thing really gets to me because even when I try to set a boundary or handle something myself, I’m met with criticism instead of support.

They can also just say things to me or keep talking when I’m clearly not in the mood. I’m quite sensitive and irritable at the moment so most of the time I just want to sit quietly and be left alone. But they keep talking to me even when it’s not about anything important. Sometimes it’s just pointless or annoying comments, like saying I look like I’m going to be sick, when I clearly don’t. It’s not helpful or supportive, it’s just more noise, and in my current state it really gets to me. It’s like I’m eating and just want to eat quietly and go back upstairs but they keep making silly comments and trying to talk when I just want peace.

Sometimes I manage to feel okay but then family members come into my room making comments doubting me and that just drags me back down. I’m already overwhelmed trying to figure things out and the pressure from my family just adds to that, making it more overwhelming. It feels like no matter what I do, it’s not enough and that really weighs on me.

Comments

  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 2,253 Boards Champion
    Hi @Redemption , thank you so much for sharing all of this, it really sounds like you’re carrying a lot right now, and it makes total sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed and also rather alone. It sounds exhausting trying to navigate your own challenges while also feeling doubted or second-guessed by the people around you, especially family. What happens in those moments when they'll say a comment or doubt you? How do you tend to react? How might you wish to react?

    Feeling like your boundaries aren’t respected, or that your needs for quiet and space are brushed aside, also sounds disheartening and frustrating. You're figuring out your need for peace, and for a space that feels safe and encouraging as opposed to pressed or critical.

    It’s also makes a lot of sense that you're finding it hard to fully relax or reach out to friends when there’s so little privacy or breathing room at home. That sense of being constantly observed or interrupted can really chip away at your ability to feel grounded.

    You mentioned moments where you start to feel okay. I'm wondering, when you do have those small moments of calm or clarity, what seems to help create that feeling for you?
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,933 The Mix Elder
    Sian321 wrote: »
    Hi @Redemption , thank you so much for sharing all of this, it really sounds like you’re carrying a lot right now, and it makes total sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed and also rather alone. It sounds exhausting trying to navigate your own challenges while also feeling doubted or second-guessed by the people around you, especially family. What happens in those moments when they'll say a comment or doubt you? How do you tend to react? How might you wish to react?

    Feeling like your boundaries aren’t respected, or that your needs for quiet and space are brushed aside, also sounds disheartening and frustrating. You're figuring out your need for peace, and for a space that feels safe and encouraging as opposed to pressed or critical.

    It’s also makes a lot of sense that you're finding it hard to fully relax or reach out to friends when there’s so little privacy or breathing room at home. That sense of being constantly observed or interrupted can really chip away at your ability to feel grounded.

    You mentioned moments where you start to feel okay. I'm wondering, when you do have those small moments of calm or clarity, what seems to help create that feeling for you?

    @Sian321 Thank you for understanding and really hearing me it means a lot. When people doubt me or make those comments, I usually end up shutting down or getting defensive. Sometimes I just want to prove them wrong, but other times it makes me feel small and unsure of myself, and then I retreat even more. Honestly, I wish I could just stay calm and confident, and not let their words affect me so deeply, but it’s tough.

    Yeah, feeling like my boundaries aren’t respected is really draining. I want to have my own space where I can think and breathe without being constantly interrupted or judged. It’s hard to feel safe when that doesn’t happen.

    The little moments where I feel okay usually happen when I’m alone or with someone who listens without pressure. Sometimes just going for a walk or doing something simple like listening to music helps me get a bit of peace and reset my head. Those moments remind me I can get through the tough, even if just for a little while.
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