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Just Wanting a Chance to Move Forward
Redemption
Community Connector Posts: 4,786 The Mix Elder
I’ve just been really worried and frustrated because I’ve been trying so hard to move forward, but I’m not getting the outcome I want. It’s been a long time now and I don’t feel like I’m asking for too much, just a simple, manageable daytime job to get me going. I even looked into a career path and completed a training course for it, hoping it would lead somewhere, but that didn’t work out and felt like a failure. Since then, which was last year, I’ve been trying to get a basic first job and applying constantly. I was on a work programme that expired, and since February I’ve been on another one. Through both, I’ve done confidence-building courses, one-to-one support, workshops, and group sessions, even a presentation about qualifications. I’ve had placement assessments too, but I failed some, mostly my own fault like being late to interviews. It’s all really weighed on me, and I often feel useless and rubbish for being out of work, especially when it seems like everyone else has their lives together. People say I’m on my own journey, and I try to believe that, but I struggle. I compare myself to others even though I know I shouldn’t, and it just chips away at my self-esteem. I’m scared of being judged and it feels like I have nothing to be confident about. It’s easy to say “don’t compare yourself” but when I keep facing setbacks and others seem to succeed, it’s hard not to.
What makes it worse is that every time I think an opportunity might finally help me, it ends up falling through. I haven’t just been sitting around waiting for someone to save me—I’ve been putting in the effort, and I still am. I don’t expect someone to fix everything, but I do hope for some support, even a small push, like my key worker being more involved with employers or helping with placements. My self-esteem wasn’t strong to begin with, so when I try something new and it fails, it hits hard. It’s happened so many times trying to redeem myself, stepping into something new while feeling self-conscious, only for people to laugh or things to go wrong. I’ve walked into places already afraid of failing, and then it happens, and it just confirms all the fears. It messes with my head, makes me overthink everything, and leaves me constantly stressed—about social stuff, being judged, or just trying to move forward. All I want is to get a job and move on with life.
What makes it worse is that every time I think an opportunity might finally help me, it ends up falling through. I haven’t just been sitting around waiting for someone to save me—I’ve been putting in the effort, and I still am. I don’t expect someone to fix everything, but I do hope for some support, even a small push, like my key worker being more involved with employers or helping with placements. My self-esteem wasn’t strong to begin with, so when I try something new and it fails, it hits hard. It’s happened so many times trying to redeem myself, stepping into something new while feeling self-conscious, only for people to laugh or things to go wrong. I’ve walked into places already afraid of failing, and then it happens, and it just confirms all the fears. It messes with my head, makes me overthink everything, and leaves me constantly stressed—about social stuff, being judged, or just trying to move forward. All I want is to get a job and move on with life.
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Comments
I can imagine how frustrating it is to still be in this position despite all the hard work you've been putting in. Please know it doesn't go unnoticed Redemption and as a community we can see how far you've come during your time with us. I'm hearing some disappointment and maybe when it comes to new opportunities you're already expecting them to fall through based on previous opportunities that have. This sounds really tough Redemption and I can imagine it affecting your motivation and maybe even your self-confidence in your abilities. Would you say that's right?
I see you've mentioned your key worker and how you wish they were a little more involved with employers or helping you find a placement. Is this something you'd feel comfortable speaking to them about? You deserve support Redemption, especially in today's world where it can be really hard to get on the career ladder.
You may not feel it, but you are doing really well to keep working at this and not giving up. You've worked so hard to get to this point Redemption so a huge well done for getting back up again when you're knocked down. We're rooting for you!
Hey @Katie Thank you for your reply. It all really means a lot. I have been trying, even if it doesn’t always feel like it’s getting me anywhere at times. It is pretty spot on what you said when a new opportunity comes up, I often assume it’ll go wrong before it even starts, because that’s how it’s gone so many times before. I think my key worker said we can move towards more hands-on with helping me actually get into work or placements, I might be wrong though but he said my confidence seems to be low and rejections will ruin it more which is true. I’ve been putting effort in, but I feel like I need someone who’s going to push with me, not just watch from the side. But I appreciate you all noticing how far I’ve come even if I don’t always see it myself. Just hearing that helps and I won't have got through or wouldn't be without here. I’m going to keep going, I know its will all happen. Thanks so so much Katie