Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) W/C 07.07.25

Leyla · July 7

This is a space to chat or vent about things which you think may be more triggering for the Community but still want to get off your chest.

Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's venting thread that isn't triggering, click here.

River · July 7

@Leyla i thought we already had one of these

Leyla · July 7

Hey River, we do!

I made a comment on each of those threads if you want to read a bit more but we're basically keeping these threads, but making a new one each week and closing the previous week ones, because it was becoming a bit hard for us to keep track of from a safety point of view as they were so long!

So you can still see all of the comments etc made on the previous posts, but there will be a new post for each thread every Monday so it's easier for everyone to keep track of

Hope that makes sense gang!

River · July 7

Ah that’s great @Leyla

River · July 7

Tomorrow is 3 years since my failed suicide attempt and I’m genuinely so mad at myself

Lottie5433 · July 7

I wrote in my journal today about everything thats been happening in my head over the past few days (SH and SI (with a plan etc)) and my boyfriend wants to read it but i dont know if i can put him through that because i know he'd just worry and I cant do that. I wish I could have a whole reset on everything because ive screwed up so much in the last few weeks/months. I should punished myself for the drama ive caused

eylah · July 7

Lottie5433 wrote: »

I wrote in my journal today about everything thats been happening in my head over the past few days (SH and SI (with a plan etc)) and my boyfriend wants to read it but i dont know if i can put him through that because i know he'd just worry and I cant do that. I wish I could have a whole reset on everything because ive screwed up so much in the last few weeks/months. I should punished myself for the drama ive caused

are you feeling safe? as you mentioned a plan. i am here for you

.

Lottie5433 · July 7

eylah wrote: »

Lottie5433 wrote: »

I wrote in my journal today about everything thats been happening in my head over the past few days (SH and SI (with a plan etc)) and my boyfriend wants to read it but i dont know if i can put him through that because i know he'd just worry and I cant do that. I wish I could have a whole reset on everything because ive screwed up so much in the last few weeks/months. I should punished myself for the drama ive caused

are you feeling safe? as you mentioned a plan. i am here for you .

Hi, yeah I am safe at the moment, thanks for asking ❤️

eylah · July 8

in middle of having a nightmare.

Sian321 · July 9

@eylah , that sounds really frightening. How are you this morning? What was last night like in the end? We're here for you. Sounds like you're coping with so much right now, particularly following the news of your surgery. Sending lots of care your way, Eylah. What might looking after yourself today look like?

Sian321 · July 9

@Lottie5433 , thank you for sharing what you have. It sounds like the last few months especially have been really overwhelming, and I hear that self-blame and regret you're feeling right now. You said you feel like you need to punish yourself. We're listening and we're all here for you.

What has it been like to begin journalling?

And how do you feel about your bf reading? You deserve to be able to hold boundaries over whether your journal is private or not, especially as I remember you saying that in the past you'd felt upset when your journals were read by other people.

How are you practically keeping safe at the moment in between your work shifts?

Popping some options below for 1:1 support if you are struggling with distressing thoughts and feelings:

Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
CALM - https://www.thecalmzone.net/
SHOUT 24/7 Text service - https://giveusashout.org/

https://www.dareresponse.com/dareapp/ - SOS 'pep-talks' section may feel helpful for racing thoughts / panic / anxiety.

You're doing so well to talk about this, especially when you're feeling as though you've 'screwed up'. That can take a lot of courage and feel daunting. And that part of you that's afraid you've messed things up just deserves so much space and time right now to be listened to.

eylah · July 9

Sian321 wrote: »

@eylah , that sounds really frightening. How are you this morning? What was last night like in the end? We're here for you. Sounds like you're coping with so much right now, particularly following the news of your surgery. Sending lots of care your way, Eylah. What might looking after yourself today look like?

im rly not doing gd today. im struggling badly

. i just want to cry but i can’t.

River · July 9

Don’t panic I’m not in danger!

I want to sign a DNR

River · July 9

There phoning my doctor 🥲 to tell them that I want to sign one because I’m sick of life which tbf dr M wouldn’t allow it anyway she sees right through me, I walk into her room and she goes “more thoughts hun”

If I can’t end my life then why can’t I sign one, it’s not like I’ll do anything that it has to come into effect it’s just there for if natural causes happen and I get my opportunity…is it really so bad?

Sian321 · July 11

@eylah , thank you for letting us know that you were really struggling that day. That sounds overwhelming, and I get the sense you were coping with some really strong thoughts and feelings. Would you feel comfortable sharing a bit more about what was going on for you that day? We're here and we're listening and you're doing so well to talk about this.

How is today feeling so far?

eylah · July 11

im rly struggling i cba

im safe dw

eylah · July 11

Sian321 wrote: »

@eylah , thank you for letting us know that you were really struggling that day. That sounds overwhelming, and I get the sense you were coping with some really strong thoughts and feelings. Would you feel comfortable sharing a bit more about what was going on for you that day? We're here and we're listening and you're doing so well to talk about this.

How is today feeling so far?

having a bad day. well this afternoon has been shit but got my nails done earlier but im just sad rly.

River · 12:56AM

TW// self harm

I self harmed kinda bad and god it fucking hurts a shit ton 😭 can’t even lay down on that area so that’s bloody great

Safe

Sian321 · 11:13AM

@River , thank you for sharing this with us.

That sounds extremely sore, and I'm glad that physically you're safe. Would you feel comfortable sharing what might have been happening for you before you SHed? Whether there was anything in particular that might have triggered those urges?

You're doing really well to talk about this and we're here for you. I wonder how you've been able to care for the wound so far to help keep it safe?

Sian321 · 11:14AM

@eylah , I hear you, and the sadness too. I hope that yesterday there could be some space and time to feel that in whatever ways you were needing. How is today? We're all here for you.

River · 11:15AM

@Sian321

was a bit mistake to do it where I done it, did it for a few reasons that I can’t say on here but yeah now I’m paying the price

Sian321 · 2:54PM

@River , I hear you, and that sounds really difficult right now. You're doing so well to talk about this. I'm going to pop below a few resources which you might find helpful for staying safe right now with the wound, or any future urges:

https://www.leicspart.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/SelfHarmLeaflet.pdf
https://calmharm.stem4.org.uk/

We're all here for you.

Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) W/C 07.07.25

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