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Being in a workplace where you can’t tell if everyone hates you or not is wack

bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 315 The Mix Regular
in Health & Wellbeing
And no, it’s not my poor self esteem telling me that everyone hates me. It’s seeing coworkers behave like best buddies with others, only to insult them behind their back. Literally everyone does this.

I guess the most accurate way to tell is whether they talk to you first or not, idk.
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  • Matthew_04Matthew_04 Discussion Boards Moderator Posts: 329 The Mix Regular
    @bignosegirly0
    I totally understand where you're coming from. Seeing coworkers being so two faced in the workplace can be so disconcerting and make you wonder if they are doing this to you as well.
    It can create a weird tension even though everything seems fine on the surface.

    Unfortunately is is more common than you'd think in a lot of workplaces. So you are definitely not alone in this one but it doesn't make each shift any easier, it can make each shift feel so exhausting.
    bignosegirly0 wrote: »
    I guess the most accurate way to tell is whether they talk to you first or not, idk.

    Yeah, i think paying attention to who initiates conversations and how they talk to you can be pretty telling.

    For me, found that having a boundary between 'work friends' and your friends outside of work can help too. Being mindful about what i share in conversation at work helped me feel less vulnerable to gossip and drama.

    I'm wondering how this all makes you feel after you've finished your shift? Are you able to come home and leave all the drama at work?

  • bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 315 The Mix Regular
    @Matthew_04 i generally feel extremely depressed at work knowing most of my workplace hates me. I can acknowledge that some people like me, but it’s hard to tell.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,722 The Mix Elder
    No one here hates you @bignosegirly0 we all care about you ❤️
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,927 Extreme Poster
    Hey @bignosegirly0 , thanks for sharing this. That really does sound so tough - being a workspace where you're constantly on edge because everyone seems to be talking about each other behind their backs. I can imagine that would create a lot of anxiety and self-consciousness, and of course you don't want to be targeted.

    How long have you been in this work-place, and I wonder if it's always been this way?

    Do you get the sense there's anyone else working there who doesn't like to talk down about other people?

    You're doing really well to share this, and we're here to explore it further if you wish.
  • bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 315 The Mix Regular
    @Sian321 ive been working at my job since 2022. It’s always been like this. Everyone talks shit about each other behind their backs and then act like besties when they’re with them. I remember talking to a coworker who says that she has issues trusting people in general, and she also brought up the fact that people may say things like “oh we love you 🥰” and then say horrible things behind their backs.
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,927 Extreme Poster
    @bignosegirly0 , Hmm that does sound really hard, especially to have been in that environment for two years now. That's a lot to deal with!

    What was it like when your colleague told you that she struggles to trust some of the people you work with. Sounds like you might be on the same page there?
  • bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 315 The Mix Regular
    @Sian321 to be fair, I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt that way. And it’s good to know that I have someone I can trust
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