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TW: Suicide / Death - Tired of living 💔🥺
River
Community Connector Posts: 4,520 The Mix Elder
I’m just to tired to live, to tired to try anymore, my world and heart is just breaking, sometimes I wish someone would just put me out of my misery 😭 I can’t admit the truth to anyone out of fear of bad reactions, I just say what people want to hear 💔 just to make them happy. My head is bad mentally tonight but also I feel like I have this heart beat in my head that is tugging making my head hurt 
Please someone just put me out of my misery
TW// violence
Edit- I’m so dizzy and my vision is going, gonna pass out and end up waking up regressed….fml klm please 😭
Please someone just put me out of my misery
TW// violence
You can set a hit man on me idc or put me in a room with a murderer, fucking anything please!!!
Edit- I’m so dizzy and my vision is going, gonna pass out and end up waking up regressed….fml klm please 😭
Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
Post edited by Sian321 on
4
Comments
And as little consolation as this is, all that i can say is to keep trying because there's always the chance of improvement. Hold on to the few things in your life that give you even a small faltering glimpse of happiness like hoop. Hold onto these things like lifelines through a storm. Something to look forward every week. And survive for those small moments until brighter times someday in the future.
This won't be what you want to hear. I wish i could tell you there was more. A fix, a salvation, but the truth is this is the only thing is can say. The only truth is it will never get better if you give up now, there is every chance it can get better if future if you do hold on. Hold on to those moments of happiness as small and insignificant as they are, and make them your world in a life of chaos and people failing you. Never feel like you have to hide your true feelings in case you upset somebody. You deserve to be able to express how you feel, not to supress yourself for others happiness. You fight so hard to make others happy, it's time to make yourself happy with something in life.
I'm here if you want to talk more about what's tearing apart your heart and world, or anything you want to talk about for that matter. You deserve to feel so much better than this, and it would be a heart breaking day if anything ever happened to you. You are cared about more than you realise and have had a much bigger impact on people more than you know. Has your head gotten any better at all or is it still like a heartbeat? (sorry if this sounds like rambling and sorry i took a while with a response)
@DonnerKebab i genuinely just can’t do this anymore :( it’s rock bottom after rockbottom
You mentioned above some thoughts about wishing someone would 'put you out of your misery' and it sounds like you're coping with suicidal feelings right now or thoughts of death. Can we ask, do you feel able to keep yourself physically safe right now, and if so, would you be able to share how?
This truly does sound so, so exhausting, River. I hear your anguish. When you say you're afraid of people's reactions, is there anyone in particular you're referring to here? What do you imagine they would do if they knew how much you're struggling?
We're all here for you as your Community, River, and you deserve to not have to go through this alone.
The following spaces are here for 1:1 support today:
Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
CALM - https://www.thecalmzone.net/
SHOUT 24/7 Text service - https://giveusashout.org/
Switchboard (LGBTQIA+) - https://switchboard.lgbt/
Don’t send ambulance on me please!! My mum would hate me. I have to present perfectly okay in person to make people happy
@River You don't owe them anything the way they have been with you. You don't owe them happiness, bought with your suffering in silence. You need actual help from professionals, and support.
@River because half of them are useless most of the time. But there is always chance you will find a good helpline worker. Just don't give up. How was hoop by the way?