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Walked out of work (TW: SH)
Invisible_me
Posts: 441 Listening Ear
Hi.
Ax you may havr seen from my previous work threads.
Today work was hard. Morning was difficult- pacing, very anxious! Cried but pushed myself to go. Shutdown! I got into work. Room smelled. Shutdown.
I was mute! Couldn't communicate anything other than I want to go home.
Manager asked me how are you when he came in. Blanked him. I couldn't respond! I was Shutdown mute..
They offered me space but that didnt help.
TW: (SH)
Literally I reckon if hed let he carry on or just let me do repetive activity in the spsce for a bit I would've calmed down. Rather than assigning me a laptop task and communication with team members. Got nothing done that much ive not even submitted my timesheet for hours i worked today. I don't deserve to be paid for that.
Ax you may havr seen from my previous work threads.
Today work was hard. Morning was difficult- pacing, very anxious! Cried but pushed myself to go. Shutdown! I got into work. Room smelled. Shutdown.
I was mute! Couldn't communicate anything other than I want to go home.
Manager asked me how are you when he came in. Blanked him. I couldn't respond! I was Shutdown mute..
They offered me space but that didnt help.
TW: (SH)
Felt so numb l was literally scratching and biting mysrlf...went back in engaged in a repetive activity which was helping.
Manager came took me out, said I can go on time ut from delievery and to focus on probation targets tick if off sprak to team. Went back in. He stopped me frol continuing the activity (sorting out resources) even though I said don't stop me half way. I felt pressure to do targets but i was mute in Shutdown I couldn't communicate sprak to wider team I didn't want to show anyone my face forget talking. O couldn't focus concentrate, overwhelmed. I got annoyed at myself for not being able to speak which led me retreating further. All o wanted to do was escape couldn't careless if I passed probation at this stage just wanted to get throigh. I managed to communicate I want to go home he said take breakd and no he wants he im as far as possible. In the end 3hrs in I got my stuff. He tried to get my to stay but refused and he said I'm on leave tomorrow but the new service manager will check km with me (part of adjustments is check in day after). She's a newish person. She wasn't in today hoe she going to know what I was like.Literally I reckon if hed let he carry on or just let me do repetive activity in the spsce for a bit I would've calmed down. Rather than assigning me a laptop task and communication with team members. Got nothing done that much ive not even submitted my timesheet for hours i worked today. I don't deserve to be paid for that.
Post edited by TheMix on
3
Comments
It's annoying for not being able to verbalise.
Understandable, hope you're feeling a bit more relaxed now from it.
I now get a call on Friday (the day after) to reflect on how shuft was, it's an adjustment that cane out from when I had a meeting with the old service manager.
My manager was on leave so the new service manager was going to do it instead. She messaged at 11 saying what time can I call you, i said after 5 if possible, but I got home late from my otger workplace, was hungry so I messaged saying can you call on Tuesday (their nedt working day as the whole service is closed sat, sun, mon) . So she said my manager will call me tues, she was only phoning me because he was on leave.
Like that's not the reason: I was hungry, headache, tired so it wasn't the best time to talk. Not so so much because it was her. A little bit of me was scared because I didn't want to have to tell her how shift was likr explain to her I was mon verbal etc as she wasn't in base whereas my manager was in so he knows hoe I was because he saw it...saying thay though boy sute I want to speak to my manager.
It'll prob play on my head wed evening before Thursday but otherwise I've put it behind me.
However I dunno if he will probs wat to talk it through.
These phone calls was suggested when I spoke to his manager , after I had a discussion with her and she said as an adjustment the manager will phone me day after shift to talk through previous day to avoid anxiety climbing up for the following week.
I understand but you knew from last week your short staffed this week?? But I understand.
These phone calls they supposed to do to reflect on last shift - how realistic is it??