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TW (Self harm & Suicidal thoughts) Breach of confidentiality and feeling really anxious & depressed
Jack25
Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
Hello
I really didn't want to make a discussion because I don't want to bother people but my head is racing and I want to get words out there so I'm so so sorry for bothering everyone, that's all I'm good for now and I'm so sorry.
Last 2 days have been horrible for me and today CAMHS contacted me telling me they broke confidentiality and I will have to see them to have an appointment tomorrow, and my parents HAVE to come, they have no choice. The CAMHS worker on the phone wasn't nice at all, and was angry at me. I was in school about to go home but that phone call messed me up so much I was in school for a really long time. Teachers don't want to speak to me anymore because I'm taking up too much of their time, so there goes the only support I get in person 🫠. CAMHS didn't explain, nor tell me in advance why or that they would. I haven't said anything different to CAMHS they are just suddenly doing it. I hope I don't wake up tomorrow I'm so done with CAMHS and life, they've dismissed me this whole time and NOW they want to break confidentiality and not elaborate any further. Because of how hard I have spiraled the last couple of days I ended up relapsing and self-harmed but with all this going on I need something to regulate my feelings. Shame I lost my 2 year streak and now I feel really guilty😢.
I hope I don't wake up tomorrow I'm dreading this appointment, but there's nothing I can do and will have to go, it doesn't feel real I can't believe this is happening. I am safe but I'm worried they will tell my parents about my SH or suicide attempt and other stuff. My dad told me they called and his reaction wasn't good ☹️. CAMHS are really pushing me right to the edge I can't escape what I'm dreading. On top of struggling to even get out of bed, exams, eating, brushing my teeth, just literally everything and living. I've never felt this bad, I'm so anxious I feel I might have a panic attack if this continues. I really can't put into words how awful I feel, this has triggered me so hard my suicidal thoughts are really prominent but I am safe. I don't know what changed and why CAMHS are breaching confidentiality after 5 months with them. My whole life has changed since this depressive episode and reaching out for help after struggling for 4 years was meant to help change things for the better. But I firmly regret that, I regret every interaction I've had with CAMHS I should've never reached out for help. I should've just waited until I was 18.
My parents are shouting at me right now they are angry I hate this situation im so done with this I feel sick i mreally on edge
I am safe
I really didn't want to make a discussion because I don't want to bother people but my head is racing and I want to get words out there so I'm so so sorry for bothering everyone, that's all I'm good for now and I'm so sorry.
Last 2 days have been horrible for me and today CAMHS contacted me telling me they broke confidentiality and I will have to see them to have an appointment tomorrow, and my parents HAVE to come, they have no choice. The CAMHS worker on the phone wasn't nice at all, and was angry at me. I was in school about to go home but that phone call messed me up so much I was in school for a really long time. Teachers don't want to speak to me anymore because I'm taking up too much of their time, so there goes the only support I get in person 🫠. CAMHS didn't explain, nor tell me in advance why or that they would. I haven't said anything different to CAMHS they are just suddenly doing it. I hope I don't wake up tomorrow I'm so done with CAMHS and life, they've dismissed me this whole time and NOW they want to break confidentiality and not elaborate any further. Because of how hard I have spiraled the last couple of days I ended up relapsing and self-harmed but with all this going on I need something to regulate my feelings. Shame I lost my 2 year streak and now I feel really guilty😢.
I hope I don't wake up tomorrow I'm dreading this appointment, but there's nothing I can do and will have to go, it doesn't feel real I can't believe this is happening. I am safe but I'm worried they will tell my parents about my SH or suicide attempt and other stuff. My dad told me they called and his reaction wasn't good ☹️. CAMHS are really pushing me right to the edge I can't escape what I'm dreading. On top of struggling to even get out of bed, exams, eating, brushing my teeth, just literally everything and living. I've never felt this bad, I'm so anxious I feel I might have a panic attack if this continues. I really can't put into words how awful I feel, this has triggered me so hard my suicidal thoughts are really prominent but I am safe. I don't know what changed and why CAMHS are breaching confidentiality after 5 months with them. My whole life has changed since this depressive episode and reaching out for help after struggling for 4 years was meant to help change things for the better. But I firmly regret that, I regret every interaction I've had with CAMHS I should've never reached out for help. I should've just waited until I was 18.
My parents are shouting at me right now they are angry I hate this situation im so done with this I feel sick i mreally on edge
I am safe
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Comments
thank you for being so honest and for opening up, i know that takes a huge amount of courage, especially when you’re feeling so overwhelmed. i’m really sorry you’re going through this, and i want you to know you’re not a burden. you’re not “bothering” anyone, not me, and not the people who truly care about you. it’s ok to need to get the words out, and really important to as well!
reading everything you’re dealing with, it makes complete sense why you’re feeling this way. you’re carrying way too much on your own, and none of this is your fault. camhs should have communicated better, breaking confidentiality without warning, especially in such a cold and unkind way, is deeply unfair. you deserve compassion and clear explanations, not anger and more fear.
i’m also really sorry to hear about the relapse, but please don’t feel guilty about it. you held on for two years, which shows so much strength. Thatthat strength hasn’t gone anywhere, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. you are still here and you are still trying, and that matters, it means something.
you don’t deserve to feel like this. you don’t deserve to be shouted at or to feel like you’re too much, you are not. you are human, hurting, and trying your best in a really painful situation!
tomorrow might feel terrifying, but please remember you are not alone, even when it feels like all support is fading, there are people who care, i’m here, and i will continue to be. uou’ve done nothing wrong by reaching out for help. the system failed you, not the other way around.
if you’re feeling like panic is creeping in, just take this moment minute by minute. you don’t have to fix everything at once. you don’t even need to explain everything to anyone all in one go. this moment won’t last forever.
if things start to feel even more unmanageable, reach out — whether that’s a helpline, a crisis text service, or someone you trust. you deserve support and safety through this.
if you need, here are some helplines:
shout (24/7) - text ‘shout’ to 85258
hopeline (24/7) - text 88247
samaritans (24/7) - call 116123
lifeline (24/7) - call 08088088000
papyrus (24/7) - call 08000684141
inspire wellbeing (24/7) - call 08081890036
community advice and listening line (24/7) - call 0800132737
knus (24/7) - whatsapp 07700165687
mind (9am-6pm) - call 03001233393
rethink mental illness (9:30am-4pm) - call 03005000927
kooth (12pm-10pm) - webchat on website
saneline (4pm-10pm) - call 03003047000
calm (5pm-12am) - call 0800585858
suicide prevention uk (6pm-12am) - call 08005870800
kelly’s heroes (6pm-11pm) - webchat on website
sos (8pm-12am) - call 08001151505
i’m so proud of you for dealing with everything
It sounds like yesterday might have felt extreamly overwhelming - it was beyond words, and you felt so afraid and isolated. I heard you say that since reaching out to CAMHS four years ago, it feels as though they have dismissed you, and I really heard a sense of betrayal there almost. That sounds deeply dissapointing, and confusing now too to hear that confidentiality had been broken. How did the appointment go today? We're here with you to talk about this at your own pace.
You also mentioned your parents sounding angry when they recieved the call from CAMHS. Again, that sounds extreamly hard, esspecially when you're struggling and trying to keep safe and regulate your feelings as best as you can. May we ask, what was it like for you to have your parents react in that way?
If you would like a 1:1 space to recieve further support with suicidal feelings or self-harm urges, please know that Childline are here for you 24/7: https://www.childline.org.uk/.
You deserve so much understanding and support around this.