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TW (Suicidal Thoughts) Still wanna kill myself at work
bignosegirly0
Posts: 259 The Mix Regular
One of the workplace franchise ladies had a talk with me yesterday because a few employees commented on my mental well-being, since they’re worried I’m gonna kill myself and she wanted to make sure that I was safe. She tried reassuring me that people care for me. But I don’t think it’s true.
even at work, I still feel so unlikeable and forgettable, because I actually am. I literally said hi to my managers twice and didn’t even get acknowledged. I’m literally writing this as I’m in a room filled of people and I still feel fucking invisible. Maybe I should kill myself because I don’t believe that I actually matter at work. If I were to end my life at work, no one would actually give a shit. Of course, they’d be pissed because they have to deal with an issue which gets in the way of their work. But I don’t think anyone would be sad over my death. I think they’d actually be glad that I’m finally gone.
I know that there are plenty of coworkers who know about my suicidal thoughts and can’t wait for me to act on them. I’m just a fucking burden at this point. No one will miss me if I kill myself. All of them would be glad that I’m dead.
even at work, I still feel so unlikeable and forgettable, because I actually am. I literally said hi to my managers twice and didn’t even get acknowledged. I’m literally writing this as I’m in a room filled of people and I still feel fucking invisible. Maybe I should kill myself because I don’t believe that I actually matter at work. If I were to end my life at work, no one would actually give a shit. Of course, they’d be pissed because they have to deal with an issue which gets in the way of their work. But I don’t think anyone would be sad over my death. I think they’d actually be glad that I’m finally gone.
I know that there are plenty of coworkers who know about my suicidal thoughts and can’t wait for me to act on them. I’m just a fucking burden at this point. No one will miss me if I kill myself. All of them would be glad that I’m dead.
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Comments
Thank you for sharing this with us, you have done so well to open up to us. It sounds like things are feeling really tough for you at the moment. We are all here to support you. We have sent you a DM to check in and carry on this conversation, if you would like to chat to us there.
Take care.
Hi.
I've seen a couple if your posts and I really hope you are okay!?
Honestly no job is feeling this low for. You deserve to feel wanted and if this job isn't making you feel wanted that's there issue this isn't a reflection on you because you are wanted there will be someone somewhere that does need ans want you!
I have to ask myself if this is making you feel this low all the time, what's making you still go? You are being incredibly brave and committed in going @bignosegirly0 but it's worth questioning is this what you want to carry on doing. Can you not leave if you don't want to be there? Or take a break?
hiya, I’ve just finished my shift and I am feeling a bit better, thank you.
I wouldn’t say I’m suffering from depression, but no matter the situation or place I’m at, I’m either midly low or extremely down 90% of the time.
Although I have days at work where I don’t feel horrible, there are moments that triggers my depressive mindset, where I am reminded that I live in a world where people will view me as less of a person because I don’t meet today’s beauty standards, and there’s nothing I can do to change that. I’m also reminded that I’m the ugliest at my workplace and no one will ever love me.
These thoughts follow me on a daily basis, no matter what I’m doing. as soon as I wake up, I obsess over those thoughts until I go to sleep.
The reason why I’m still working is because I haven’t got a backup job. I’ve been searching forever for a new job, but because the job market isn’t doing great, it’s a lot harder to get accepted nowadays. And if I were to just quit with no job, then I would feel worse being at home, doing nothing but existing. I can’t take a break because then my family would be confused and ask me why. Mental health is a taboo topic where they have called me selfish and spoilt for dealing with suicidal thoughts.
So my only option is to carry on.