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TW!
Rose113
Community Connector Posts: 3,610 Community Veteran
TW! Suicide!!
So uhm things haven’t been so great lately all my life I’ve felt like the messed up sibling and I’ve never even been able to escape that. I went down the wrong path when I was 11 due to the lack of good people in my life and I learnt to just survive from a young age. I was surviving in a world that I didn’t know how to navigate but somehow did on my own. I suppose I did something right along the way but mostly nothing ever went right. Even now it’s like I’m stuck being this curse. Like everything I do and say is wrong but I can’t escape what feels like an evil and dark cloud above my head of people that didn’t show me how to be loved, cared for etc it’s just not fair
I don’t want to be here yet have to be because that’s selfish and the wrong thing to do and everyone would just hate me 👍🏻 so live laugh love being in endless pain. I reach out for help but get nowhere, helplines just insult me and call me unkind things! And I have no friends to reach out to 😂 just a lonely freak who has no one they can fully open up to because that’s selfish would be burdening and making peoples jobs/lives harder.
Just over a month self harm free yet really want to ruin that because there’s nothing like being filled with self destructive behaviour 🙂 but hey ho no one cares about me so it’s all good.
Just survive till I die 💕
Night 🦋
So uhm things haven’t been so great lately all my life I’ve felt like the messed up sibling and I’ve never even been able to escape that. I went down the wrong path when I was 11 due to the lack of good people in my life and I learnt to just survive from a young age. I was surviving in a world that I didn’t know how to navigate but somehow did on my own. I suppose I did something right along the way but mostly nothing ever went right. Even now it’s like I’m stuck being this curse. Like everything I do and say is wrong but I can’t escape what feels like an evil and dark cloud above my head of people that didn’t show me how to be loved, cared for etc it’s just not fair
I don’t want to be here yet have to be because that’s selfish and the wrong thing to do and everyone would just hate me 👍🏻 so live laugh love being in endless pain. I reach out for help but get nowhere, helplines just insult me and call me unkind things! And I have no friends to reach out to 😂 just a lonely freak who has no one they can fully open up to because that’s selfish would be burdening and making peoples jobs/lives harder.
Just over a month self harm free yet really want to ruin that because there’s nothing like being filled with self destructive behaviour 🙂 but hey ho no one cares about me so it’s all good.
Just survive till I die 💕
Night 🦋
Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
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Comments
Thank you for sharing. I can really hear how tough things were for you Rose to have to do so much on your own from such a young age. It sounds so painful to feel like do everything wrong and you can’t escape a dark cloud of people who didn’t show care or love. You are cared about and valued here.
I can hear perhaps the conflict of thoughts between not wanting to be here and thinking of the impact that would have on others. Are you safe today? I wonder if you can think of one thing you can do to look after yourself? Even if that’s just pet cuddles.
Reaching out for help isn’t always easy and can take a lot of bravery, I’m sorry to hear you have been insulted and called unkind things, that is not okay.
Not self harming for a month is a fantastic achievement, keep going if you can.
You are not alone the community are right here beside you.
Nothing except going to the cinema later to watch the new lilo and stitch